Friends and Sexuality

[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"][SIZE="a"]Hi random person on the internet, I don't know what exactly the rules for posting are but, I'd like to ask you strangers out in the world what to do.

My friends and I are pretty close, we hang out almost every day. I'll call them Ria, Ally, and Orion. My friend Ally is out and is pansexual, she's the only one who has dated so far. She and her girlfriend broke up a while ago. Orion is just our friend. Ria and I are both closeted. I'm a trans pan boy and Ria has told me not to disclose her identity.

So, my problem is that Ally and Orion keep outing me and Ria. They don't realize that they are doing it. Like in Health class, the teacher talked about gender and Ally and Orion both turned stared at me. Or whenever someone says closet they make a closet joke or coming out jokes to Ria. It's fine, but we'd rather not be outed, as there are 70+ kids in the grade and most of them have ties to my mom and Ria's dads.

I'm scared of coming out and also scared that somebody will find out because of them. Also, if I tell them to stop, then it will tear apart out friend group, which consists of four people. Anybody know what to do? Or if anyone else is going through something similar?

Thanks for listening to me, yet another stranger on the internet.[/size][/size]

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello, thank you so much for coming onto Teenhelp and asking for help with this. I am so sorry that you have not had a reply yet and I hope that you will be okay soon.

When we are having a hard time with something it can be hard to open up to someone, so I totally understand what you are saying. You say that you are close to your friends, would you be able to talk to them when you are alone with them and let them know what you have been going through.

If you didn't want to just come out and say that this is you, when all of you are out together eating lunch or your at the park having a picnic and you see two girls or two guys holding hands, ask them what do they think of those people. Then go from that, if they are totally fine with what they see, then if you are ready then go for it. If they do not give you the answer that you do not like then maybe try with a sibling and see how that goes.

Or another thing that you can try is writing a letter and putting everything in it that is happening and how you want to come out. Then put it in the house so someone can find it, in a bedroom and have them talk to you about it after and ask if you can talk calmly. Always come out when you are ready, do not do anything that you do not want to. I hope that you will be okay soon and I wish you the best with this.