Trans-curious?

[Ryiga]

Hello-. For the recent two years I have always felt kind of weird after hearing and learning the meaning of "transgender". I kind of felt.. Relieved, yet nervous and somewhat disturbed at times?
In short, I think i'm transcurious, in a sense? Let me explain why do I think so..

Exhibit A: Even if this does sound somewhat embarassing, but.. Ever since I was a child, let's say.. around 5 - 6 years old, I have always been hooked with playing with barbie dolls with my female cousin. Like seriously. We've been playing all kinds of girly games, maybe out of boredom, and I do think that's normal- but when I think more about it, it does sound a little weird to me.

Exhibit B: I'm always so curious about life as a female. I always wonder about female mind-sets, their preferences, their other problems and etc., hell, I kind of feel really.. jealous of them? I don't know why. They're pretty, nice, cute, (mysterious?), perhaps caring, I guess? It's like, 80% the opposite of me. That's what I feel jealous about. I feel like I want a curvy-lean body? I guess?

Exhibit C: I really want to "express" myself by growing out my hair (i had grown out my hair once but I was forced to cut it by my mom ), dyeing it, colouring my nails, freaky "goth style" make up and all of that jazz. I remember back in 2010 I saw a picture of a goth girl and I was like... "wow, I want to look like her". That feeling never really disappeared, It's still present. I also really want to experiment with a lot of

Exhibit I'm really shy in real life-. Not like "standart shy", more like "over-reactive kawaii anime girl shy" xD. I'm 100% sure no male does that. I guess girls don't act like that either. I'm just a weirdo, I guess hahah.
When someone talks to me I immediately go "Logging Out, Please Don't Turn off Your PC" mode. Literally.

What do you all think? I'm probably just a weirdo heh.

I don't think you are weird. I actually think you are normal in the sense that there shouldn't be female activities and male activities. As children we don't comprehend that adults feel that barbies are for girls and toy cars are for boys. We just play with the things we find fun; that may be barbies, toy cars, G.I. Joe's etc. It sounds like you are pulling away from the gender stereotypes that exist in the world.

I don't know that you are 'trans-curious' as much as you are pulling away from gender stereotypes. I can't say for absolute certainty and maybe someone else can come and discuss that possibility.

I'm not trans; however, there are many trans people in my life. I can't say for sure whether or not you're trans (only you can make that decision) but the trans women in my life have a different experience than you. For them they always felt "wrong," somehow. They felt uncomfortable in the body they had because it didn't fit how they felt on the inside (i.e. as women). They already had a "female" mindset because they were female (and that can look like many things). Then one day, or perhaps slowly over time, it hit them like a truck: they were trans. Once they transitioned they felt a lot more like themselves.

I agree with Jenna. It seems more like you're interested in disregarding gender stereotypes than being trans, but that doesn't mean you aren't. I suggest giving this topic a lot of thought. In my experience people don't generally "try out" being trans. It's a really big commitment, but one that's worth it if you're trans (in fact it's the only option to living a positive, healthy life). If you're curious I suggest trying out incorporating traditionally feminine elements into your wardrobe/grooming habits. See how you feel then. You may just be genderfluid or genderqueer, and that's okay too.

Hey,
So I am not trans but I do understand the part where you want to express yourself doing more "girl" things. I don't think there is anything wrong with you and you aren't weird. To me it doesn't sound like trans(but only you can figure that out yourself).



I agree with the people above me maybe you should look more into all of this. If you want to paint your nails, grow your hair out and dye it then I think you should do it. Everybody has the right to express themselves the way they want.



I hope this helped a little bit. If you ever need to talk I am just PM/VM away.
Your friend,
Frankie<3

[Storyteller.]

Hello!

First of all, I just want to reassure you that it's perfectly okay to be curious, and to explore the possibility that you might be transgender. However, it's important to consider whether you actually feel like a female, or whether you just feel more comfortable with traditionally "feminine" activities. One of the most confusing things that a lot of questioning people face is trying to separate how they actually feel from how society has encouraged them to think.

On that note, enjoying "girly" activities doesn't make you a girl. Playing with dolls isn't something that only girls are allowed to do; it's something that anyone of any gender should feel free to enjoy, if that's something that captures their interest. It's just a shame that society has a habit of teaching children that there's a set list of "boy" activities and a set list of "girl" activities, when things like playing with dolls or racing toy cars are just... things. Not all girls enjoy the former, not all boys enjoy the latter, and people of any gender can enjoy either or both of them, regardless of what society thinks.

As DanceCommander said, if you're a trans girl, you do in fact already have a female mindset. And remember that there isn't always a whole lot of consistency between people of the same gender anyway; there's a lot more that goes into who someone is than what their gender is. Not all girls have the same problems, preferences, or personalities, and if you do realise that you're trans it won't necessarily change your mindset or give you the traits that you seem to envy in women. All of the traits you listed can be applicable to any other gender as well, so it might just be that you're envious of those things in particular rather than girls in general.

As for expressing yourself, I would encourage you to go ahead and do whatever makes you feel more comfortable and content with yourself. Despite what society may say, it's not just girls who can have long hair, paint their nails, or wear makeup - anyone can. If you want to change your appearance then feel free to do so, but remember that expression doesn't always equal identity. There are guys who wear makeup, girls who have short hair, and any other number of people who present non-traditionally. As for the picture you mentioned, it could be that you just wanted to emulate her style for its own sake rather than as an expression of her gender. For example sometimes my attention will be caught by the way a guy looks, and I'll think "huh, I really dig that hairstyle/outfit/other aspect of his appearance". But to me it's entirely separate to the idea of gender - it's not me wanting to look like a guy (or feeling like I am actually one), it's just me appreciating it and potentially being tempted to apply the same concept to my own look. The same could be true in your case; maybe you liked the goth part of her appearance more so than the girl. You could also potentially just be gender non-conforming or a gender bender or something along those lines, which is more about expression than identity.

Finally, being shy is not a singularly female trait, and there are definitely shy guys out there. Being uncomfortable interacting with people is more of a personality trait than anything related to gender, so it can't really be used as an indication or whether or not you might be trans.

This is getting kind of long, so I'll finish up here. The main thing to note is that gender stereotypes can affect a person's relationship with their gender identity, and also remember that it's okay to explore these thoughts and theories to see where they lead. If you realise you're transgender, that's fantastic; if you decide you're cisgender, that's fine too. You may even come to the conclusion that you're neither of those - you could be nonbinary or genderqueer, for example. Regardless, it's your journey to go on, so don't be afraid of wherever it takes you.

Best of luck, and feel free to reach out to us here at TeenHelp whenever you need anything.