I'm trans, and looking for answers.

[Davebth]

My name is David
I've lived my whole life as a male, and I've always identified as one, but recently I've been starting to want to be a female. I'm perfectly fine with my male body as of now, my genitalia doesn't bother me, and nothing else really bothers me, but if you told me right now I could become a girl, I would do it in an instant. I admire women and their beauty, and it makes me want to become a girl really badly. Are there any MtF trans people on here that can talk to me about this? It's something I want to research before I tell anyone about it, especially my family (mother), because the last time I talked to her about LGBT related stuff (me coming out as Bisexual), she got really mad at me and was trying to discourage me from it. It's not brought up much anymore, but I fear her reaction to me wanting to be a girl. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[Dream]

There is a book called Shes Not There written by a MtF. I highly recommend it.

I'm not sure what else to tell you. I think if you read that book, it will help you understand better though.

[Glitter]

Originally Posted by Davebth

My name is David
I've lived my whole life as a male, and I've always identified as one, but recently I've been starting to want to be a female. I'm perfectly fine with my male body as of now, my genitalia doesn't bother me, and nothing else really bothers me, but if you told me right now I could become a girl, I would do it in an instant. I admire women and their beauty, and it makes me want to become a girl really badly. Are there any MtF trans people on here that can talk to me about this? It's something I want to research before I tell anyone about it, especially my family (mother), because the last time I talked to her about LGBT related stuff (me coming out as Bisexual), she got really mad at me and was trying to discourage me from it. It's not brought up much anymore, but I fear her reaction to me wanting to be a girl. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Hii David!!

It's very natural and normal to fear people's reactions when coming out because these are important people in your life and what they think is important to you. Transgendered is a huge umbrella term and I am glad you are remaining honest and true to yourself with your feelings and thoughts as you try and research for answers. Most of those answers are going to come from within, but it's fantastic to get as much information as you can. Sometimes people call me "gender queer" (or whatever its called) but the truth is I am male and don't identify as transgender; I just beat to a different drum sometimes and don't take much stock into masculine/feminine roles/pressures. So obviously a transgendered person would be of more help to you if you had specific questions about your identity but you can feel free to pm me or message me anytime too if you don't find the answers you are looking for. Because I may not be transgender but I do have xperience with coming out and I am not a judgmental person!!

The first thing I could think of if you have trouble finding someone to answer your questions would be to do a google search for "transgender" and/or "transgender resources" if you don't live in an area close to a college or similar place that might have people you could talk to about your identity. There are thankfully quite a few information sites out there these days. I say colleges because a lot of them will have "gay straight alliances" or "triangle clubs" or other lgbt organizations with younger people who might be willing to answer your questions. Even if they arent in driving distance or if driving there is not an option you could try emailing them with your questions

Obviously you don't have to ask your specific questions here on the public forum if you don't feel comfortable using it for that but you are also welcome to do that too!! Wishing you merry best on your journey of self discovery!!

[Davebth]

Originally Posted by Glitter

Hii David!!

It's very natural and normal to fear people's reactions when coming out because these are important people in your life and what they think is important to you. Transgendered is a huge umbrella term and I am glad you are remaining honest and true to yourself with your feelings and thoughts as you try and research for answers. Most of those answers are going to come from within, but it's fantastic to get as much information as you can. Sometimes people call me "gender queer" (or whatever its called) but the truth is I am male and don't identify as transgender; I just beat to a different drum sometimes and don't take much stock into masculine/feminine roles/pressures. So obviously a transgendered person would be of more help to you if you had specific questions about your identity but you can feel free to pm me or message me anytime too if you don't find the answers you are looking for. Because I may not be transgender but I do have xperience with coming out and I am not a judgmental person!!

The first thing I could think of if you have trouble finding someone to answer your questions would be to do a google search for "transgender" and/or "transgender resources" if you don't live in an area close to a college or similar place that might have people you could talk to about your identity. There are thankfully quite a few information sites out there these days. I say colleges because a lot of them will have "gay straight alliances" or "triangle clubs" or other lgbt organizations with younger people who might be willing to answer your questions. Even if they arent in driving distance or if driving there is not an option you could try emailing them with your questions

Obviously you don't have to ask your specific questions here on the public forum if you don't feel comfortable using it for that but you are also welcome to do that too!! Wishing you merry best on your journey of self discovery!!

Thank you! I'm gonna look up some LGBT groups in my area and hopefully start from there!

[Hiraeth]

Hating your body isn't a pre-requisite to identifying as trans, really.

You don't need to pursue surgery and/or hormones and/or transition at all. The umbrella is huge and the only way to really get an appreciation for it is indeed to dive right into it; you can do so online, but in person certainly gives a better, stronger sense of what a binary-transcending personal and social consciousness could be like.

Some people find that general "LGBT" groups don't necessarily help them when it comes to exploring gender-identity specific issues. They may find pressure from the gay and lesbian identified folks in these settings to "stay a gay guy" or "stay a lesbian girl"... etc. Haven't experienced it personally, but heard it quite often; just FYI.

Good luck.

[Lamia]

Hey there David! To be honest, that's kind of how I felt my whole life. Not really unhappy with my body, but also I would have preferred a female body if I had the choice. It was only a little bit ago that it turned into more of a dissatisfaction with my body and a strong urge to transition. That might happen to you, it might not. Like Jackie said, there are a lot of different gender identities put under the umbrella term of "Transgender" so it wouldn't be a bad idea to investigate those. We have a Queer Dictionary here that you should definitely take a look at.

I wish you the best, if you want to talk more about this, you can always PM me.

-Kat