transitioning during college, SCARED

[collegekid1992]

Hey gus, im 19 and pre T/pre everything. I have wanted to transition for a very long time and recently come to the conclusion its time to stop lying to myself and just be myself which is a guy. I'm starting therapy with a lgbt therapist next week and am hoping i can start hormones soon after i see them, my friend got approved for hormones right after seeing their therapist so hopefully.

I'm also scared to transition, i came out to my mom and she doesn't think i'm trans, i know she told my dad but he hasn't asked me about it, and my four siblings have no idea i'm gonna transition.
So I start college in late september and will live on campus, I'm upset because I want to be passable as a male by the time I start school because i want to sort of establish a new life up there, and don't want people to start off knowing me as a girl (i currently look like a tomboy/lesbian). I'm also stressed out about being able to afford hormone therapy (thank god the counseling center is giving me free therapy since im under 21)
Does anyone have any advice or have been in or are in a similar situation? Thanks for reading guys, this is a really scary yet exciting process.

[Hiraeth]

Heya, welcome to TH!

One of the first things I did when I came to college was come out. For the past two years most people have known me as a openly trans man, rather than an assumed tomboy girl. This you can do. But it will involve putting yourself out there and being assertive, which can be nerve wracking and difficult.

College is a great opportunity to start anew. Especially if name change is a concern - it wil save a lot of hassle to not have people already knowing you under a name that doesn't match your identity.

As for living stealth - depending on how big your school is (ie. will everyone in your program of study know each other by the end of the first year? Or is the population too large for that to really happen?), after a few months of hormone therapy, you may be able to find that it is possible to walk into a new semester and have the vast majority of your classmates and professors reading you as male.

My student health insurance (which is done through the school) covers my hormones. Check if yours does too!

Good luck! Feel free to message me if you ever wanted to talk/strategize about anything