Maintaining Long Distance Relationships

[Katrina]

Maintaining Long Distance Relationships
Written by: Katrina

Long distance relationships are becoming quite common these days. As the relationships are becoming more common, so are the questions about them and how to keep them going good and strong. A lot of people say that they are difficult to maintain, and those who say so are indeed correct.

Though long distance relationships can be hard to keep strong, one must keep in mind that anything is possible when effort is present. With some tips, tricks and effort, making it work can be a breeze.

To start, let’s throw out there the two MOST important keys in long-distance relationships besides commitment. Of course commitment is important for any relationship, but we're going to mainly discuss the two other keys that are very important.

What are the important "keys"?

1.) Trust.

In a long distance relationship there has to be a bit more trust put in your boyfriend or girlfriend than in a regular relationship. Since you don’t actually see each other everyday, there is no real way of knowing what goes on when you’re not looking, which is often in a long distance relationship. However, if you have TRUST in your partner, there will be a lot less need for worry on your part. In turn, you have to stay loyal and dedicated to the relationship. Out of sight definitely doesn’t equal out of mind in this case.

2.) Communication.

Obviously, communication is a HUGE part of ANY relationship. Since it’s usually recommended that you communicate face-to-face, which is not entirely possible all the time in long distance relationships, try talking online or on the phone. If there’s something that’s not working out, you need to try to fix it so that you can strengthen the relationship out. You MUST communicate and relay any thoughts or feelings before it’s too late to mend.

What are some things couples can do in this type of a relationship?

As physical contact is not always possible in long distance relationships, let’s think of some activities that you and your partner can do from where you each are at. These things are either things that I’ve seen mentioned on the forums, or things which I have came up with on my own. Please keep in mind that these aren't the only possible things you can do with your partner, they are only suggestions and ideas.

You could:

• Watch the same movies or TV shows at the same time, read the same books or magazines or listen to the same music. Not only will this give you something to talk about next time you’re online or on the phone, it will also make you feel as if you’re connected emotionally and mentally, even though you cannot be connected physically. Talk on the phone as you watch the movies or listen to the same music if you wish (make your own mixes, too); it’ll be as though you’re almost watching or listening together!
• Don’t only be a boyfriend or girlfriend, but also be a pen-pal! You’ve heard of it, even in high school there are tons of people who write their boyfriends or girlfriends notes during class. Since you can’t exactly give your boyfriend or girlfriend notes every day, write them letters on cute stationary. This shows that you care about and want to help strengthen the relationship.
• Send pictures. Pictures are a great way to show your boyfriend or girlfriend what’s going on in your life. Take pictures of you and your surroundings, with or of your friends, and you if you go anywhere special (and yes, I use the term "special" very loosely—theme parks, moves, ice skating, etc). Also, find pictures off of the internet that in some way either signify something about your relationship or are just plain hilarious to boot.
• Go on "dates". Just because you can’t go an actual dates, that doesn’t mean anything! Set aside a specific time (an hour or two) for JUST you two. Stay talking on the phone or online, keeping in mind to not get distracted with other things going on in your life. Just figure something out so that it’s as close to a "real" date as it can be.
• Send gifts! In many long distance relationships, each person will send the other a small gift. Though it may not be much, gifts from the heart speak volumes, and it's the thought that counts. Make a personalized sign. Who doesn't just love signs? Alternately, give them something of yours. Include a note as to why it's important to you or something.

So, even though you might have to put a small bit more effort into a long distance relationship, I’m pretty sure there are MANY people here and elsewhere that can attest to the fact that long-distance relationships are worth it. With time, effort and understanding, any long distance relationship can work.