Understanding non-binary gender

[Storyteller.]

Understanding non-binary gender
By Hester (LiveLongAndProsper)

There is more to gender than the two tick boxes on forms. Not everybody can tick ‘male’ or ‘female’. Binary means two, and non-binary gender means any gender identity that doesn't fall in either of the two binary categories. Instead of considering gender as binary, people are now beginning to consider it as a spectrum with people identifying somewhere between ‘male;’ and ‘female’. The problem with viewing gender as a position on a fixed line is that this system still ignores certain people. It doesn't take into account fluidity between genders, people identifying as no gender or neither male or female.

There is a difference between sex and gender. Sex is assigned at birth based on genitalia and X and Y chromosomes. If someone is born with a vagina and two X chromosomes, then they are assigned female, and if someone is born with a penis and X and a Y chromosome, then they are assigned male. Any other combination is usually assigned intersex, and sometimes surgery is done to make the child conform to one or the other of the two sexes, or they wait until the child decides their gender on their own. Gender, although also assigned at birth as the same as the assigned sex, is a much more complex issue. Gender is a social construct, and has little to do with what the person has between their legs or what their chromosomes are.

There are lots of non-binary labels that people use to describe their gender, including bi-gender, gender fluid, gender neutral and androgynous. This is not an exhaustive list, because gender identity is something that is very personal and people choose to label themselves in different ways. For more information about different gender identities and the terms used to describe them, click here.

How people express their non-binary gender:

Pronouns
Many people with a non-binary gender identity experience something called gender dysphoria. This is a feeling of not being comfortable in their own body. One of the triggers of this dysphoria is what others call the person. It can be very distressing to be constantly read as a gender that they don’t identify with and a lot of non-binary identified people choose to use pronouns that they weren't assigned at birth.

Changing pronouns is a process that doesn't always happen at once. Someone who’s parents call them ‘she’ and ‘her’ may go by ‘he’ and ‘him’ amongst their friends. Other people change their pronouns completely, asking everyone to call them by their preferred pronouns. If one is ever in a situation where someone’s pronouns are unknown, it’s usually best to ask them what they prefer, rather than assuming and misgendering them, or sticking with gender neutral pronouns until you find out otherwise.

Some non-binary identified people choose to change their pronouns not from male to female or vice versa, but to non-binary pronouns. Non-binary pronouns mean that the person doesn't need to choose to be identified as male or female. ‘They/them’ is the most common non-binary pronoun. ‘Zie/zer’ is also used by some people. Other people make up a non-binary pronoun for their own use.

Not everyone changes pronouns. Some people stick with the pronouns they were assigned at birth. This is more common among people who identify as bi-gender and gender fluid because their gender can change and that would involve changing pronouns regularly. Other non-binary identified people may choose not to change pronouns because they are worried about people’s reactions, because it’s a hassle to get everyone to change how they address them or because the use of the wrong pronoun doesn't give them much gender dysphoria. Everyone has their own personal reasons for their choices.

Hormone replacement therapy
Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is where hormones are given to change someone’s body. Testosterone is used for those assigned female, and it creates masculine effects in the body, including the growth of facial hair, lowering of the voice and stopping menstruation. Estrogen is used for those assigned male and it can cause breast growth and redistribution of body fat, among other things. HRT is often coupled with surgery, because after someone has gone through one puberty, the effects of that cannot be rewritten with another one.

Some people choose to have HRT without surgery. Others choose to have both. Some choose not to have HRT. All of these are valid expressions of their gender identity.

Surgery
One of the ways people deal with gender dysphoria is by having some form of surgery to change the way their body looks. There are two main surgeries associated with gender; ‘top’ surgery which are breast augmentation, where breasts are created, or a mastectomy ,where they are removed, and ‘bottom’ surgery (genital reconstruction). Some people who are born with a uterus will have a hysterectomy, or the removal of the uterus, to stop menstruation, which is something else that can make a person feel dysphoric.

Some people will have both top and bottom surgery, which is full sex affirmation surgery. Not everyone who identifies as transgender, and particularly non-binary, will do this. Having half surgery is quite common among people identifying as non-binary for several reasons. First, ‘bottom’ surgery is still being developed, and a lot of people decide against it because they are worried that they won’t get the results they want, or they are worried about a lack of functionality or sensitivity after surgery. Some people who identify as non-binary do not wish to fully transition, and are looking to make their body look more androgynous. Others choose to change what is visible to other people. There are also other factors to take into account, such as the cost of surgery and the risks involved with going through a major surgery. Some people who identify as non-binary won’t have any surgery at all, choosing either to express their gender through other means or choosing not to express their gender identity at all.

Other forms of gender expression
There are other ways in which people express their gender identity. Clothing is an important one. Some people choose to wear gender non-conforming clothing, which often gives them a more androgynous look. Others will adapt their behavior to a presentation they more identify with. Some people choose to bind their chests, use packers to simulate having a penis, grow or cut their hair or wear make up to express their gender identity. Other people do nothing at all, for reasons that are personal.

Gender is incredibly complex and is different for each individual. Gender can be expressed in many ways, and none of them are ‘correct’ or more valid than any other. Most people, even those who consider themselves cisgender and don’t identify with trans* in any way, will break the binary at some point with either their clothing or their behaviour. Not everybody’s gender is obvious just by looking at them. In the case of gender identity the best thing to do is keep an open mind. Nobody knows everything, but there are plenty of opportunities to become more educated.