Wanting to be a teenage mum

[Rob]

Wanting to be a teenage mum
By Hester (Peppermint Tea.♥)

It is very common for a teenager to want a child. You see a new mother pushing her tiny one in a pushchair and you get that overwhelming desire to have one of your own. Teenage parenthood is all the rage at the moment. With programmes like Teen Mom being aired with massive ratings, it’s no wonder that the Internet is full of teenagers with aspirations to become young parents. If you look on any teen help forum you’ll likely find young girls who are planning to get pregnant without their parents knowing, and wondering what the easiest way to get pregnant is regardless of financial struggles and lack of parental support. The glamorisation of teenage parenthood in the media makes this lifestyle seem desirable by showing fame and monetary gain from having a child at a young age.

There are many reasons why it is better to wait before you have a child. Think about your life and your situation. Do you have a long term partner? Most teenage relationships don’t last into adulthood and a child deserves a stable home. Have you thought about how a break up would affect a child? Of course, not all adult relationships last forever, but if you wait for the right person then you are lowering the chance of having a broken home. What about your financial situation? Do you have a job and a steady income or are you dependent on your parents? It costs a lot to prepare for and raise a child. Most teenagers are only able to get low paid jobs and there are often no rules about giving minimal wage to teenagers, so it is unlikely that you would be able to support yourself. It is much more rewarding to be able to support your own family. Do you want to be dependent on your parents? This can cause friction between you and your parents, leading to arguments; some teenagers even lose the support of their parents including the roof over their heads.

Another thing you need to consider is your schooling and social life. With a baby, you will find it very difficult to complete your schooling, which leaves you with very little chance of getting a good job in the future. Having a baby also leaves you next to no time to spend out with your friends or doing anything that you enjoy doing, and the sleepless nights you’ll get from looking after a baby might make you too tired to even consider it.

These reasons don’t always put people off and the thought of having a child still plays on their mind. If you are considering having a child at a young age, these are some practical tips you can do right now before you run off and get pregnant.

• Distract yourself. This is very important. The longer you spend thinking about your future family, the more wishful you’ll get and the more you’ll want it to come true. It’s ok to think about it every now and again and it’s normal to dream about the future, but don’t let it take a hold of the present. This is much easier said than done. How can you distract yourself from your feelings? Try spending more time out with friends. When you’re in the house on your own it’s much easier to let your thoughts take hold of you, but if you’re having fun there often isn’t time for these thoughts. You should enjoy your teenage years when you can go out and have fun without having to worry about a baby or a toddler.
• Spend more time around children. Look after a baby sibling or cousin, or volunteer at a local nursery or other children’s activity, for example a dance class. Babysitting really helps because it gives you a chance to look after and be responsible for children to both curb the urge for a child and to give you experience looking after one.
• Plan for your future. Looking after a baby is a very expensive, and even when you reach a suitable age you may not be in a suitable financial situation. Putting aside a small amount of pocket money or allowance each month or week can make you feel as if you are doing something, and if you save up enough it really could make a difference in the future. Think about your goals for the future. Do you want to go to university? Get married? Set goals for things that you would like to accomplish before you have a baby, and work towards achieving them. Looking after a child takes up a massive amount of time, and parents often have little time to accomplish their other dreams.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a baby. Obviously, it’s what we’ve been designed to do. But it’s best to wait until the time is right, and usually when you’re a teenager you just aren’t in the right situation. But, if you can behave responsibly about this now, just think how great a parent you’ll be in the future.