The concept of virginity

[TeenHelp]

The concept of virginity
By Nicole (eumoirous)

Virginity is a term with a long history, and because society is becoming more modern, many people are still confused about what it is. This can lead to emotional stress as, today, we still consider virginity as a “good” thing, and many religions still require its followers to remain virgins until marriage. This means that it is beneficial to understand what exactly the concept of virginity is.

The well-known concept.
Most people consider themselves to no longer be virgins once they have had vaginal penetration. The concept of virginity has both cultural and religious background, and it was to claim that a girl was pure. Virginity also has moral ties, and today many parents still emphasize great value in remaining a virgin as long as possible. Some religions dictate that virginity is of the utmost importance until a woman is married. In any regard, virginity is mostly a label for women because of its history.

How you can define it.
Virginity is just a concept, and in actuality you can define it however you choose. Some people consider themselves to not be virgins when they have had sex, others might consider themselves not virgins when they have had oral sex. It is up to individual discretion because the term is fairly vague. The definition of virginity is “the state of never having had sexual intercourse,” but because oral sex can be considered intercourse, this gives some leeway. Some people whose first time was due to sexual assault choose to still consider themselves virgins, and this is acceptable as well. Additionally, lesbians and gays can choose to define virginity however they wish. Losing your virginity could be as simple as being physically intimate with a person for the first time, it's all up to discretion.

Choosing to lose your virginity.
Losing your virginity can be an emotional time, and this can also play into how you define it. For example, if you have oral sex with a partner and no longer feel pure or as innocent because of it, you could say you have lost your virginity if that feels right to you. Because of this, it is important to recognize if you are ready emotionally before engaging in any sexual activity no matter how you choose to define virginity. Any kind of sex is as much emotional as it is physical.

What changes after you have lost your virginity.
Many people have the misconception that having vaginal sex for the first time will “pop” your cherry, or, in other words, will break the hymen permanently. This is a myth, what happens is the hymen will stretch each time you have sex, and after some time without penetration it will shrink back to its original size. So, when you have lost your virginity, nothing changes biologically. However, there can be changes emotionally, which is why it is important to make sure your first time is with somebody that you trust.

Virginity today is becoming less stigmatized and less important. Don't stress too much about what label to give yourself, instead just be sure you are safe when having any form of intercourse, and that it is consensual. If you enjoyed it, then you can consider yourself to have lost your virginity. If you didn't enjoy it, you can essentially lose it again if you wish. It is your body, so you have the ability to define it for yourself.