17 and pregnant?

[Far From Perfect]

I'm only seventeen. and me and my boyfriend of two years are sexually active. and we use protection, condoms and birth control. but i missed a pill of birth control a few weeks back and we didn't use a condom... so ya I'm scared I might be pregnant. I haven't taken a pregnancy test yet, but I'm suppose to get my period within the next few days. so im thinking about taken a test tomorrow and then a few days after. but this brings me to my question, what am i suppose to do if i am pregnant? im a senior in high school and i WANT to go to college, and my boyfriend in going into the army in january. if i am pregnant would i even be able to go to college? idk what im suppose to do with my life or with the situation if i actually am pregnant. help?

[Harmony♥]

Well, first things first, I would take that pregnancy test to determine whether or not you're pregnant.

Hypotheically here, if you are pregnant, here's some advice on what you do:

1. Tell those who are important to you: i.e. parents, boyfriend, friends, whomever. If you tell your parents, they can get you to a doctor to confirm the pregnancy, to make sure everything is okay, and to prescribe you prenatal vitamins which play an essential role during the pregnant.
2. Visit www.plannedparenthood.org for some more information on options. You can find a location near you, make an appointment and visit with them and they can discuss your options with you. You have 3 options: keeping the baby, abortion or adoption.

• Keeping the baby: Obviously, this is going to be option one if you don't believe in adoption or abortion. This doesn't mean you have to throw all your college dreams away. You just might not be able to go to an out of state college, or a college that is so far away. Hopefully, with supportive parents, they may help care for the baby while you're in school, but if not, you'd have to seek child care elsewhere, which can be extremely expensive. Also, keeping a baby is also very expensive. Babies cost thousands and thousands of dollars a year, as babies grow quickly, need food, diapers, and other essentials that are not cheap. This is an option you'd want to discuss with your parents if you're pregnant, to see if they'd be willing to help you out. If not, finding a good job and putting your college dream on hold for the time being would be best. You could always go back.
• Adoption: This may be a better option for you if you're indeed pregnant, and don't believe in abortions. There are two kinds of adoptions, which an adoption agency could give you better information on, but I can sum them up here. Open adoptions consist of you having contact with the baby and their family. They can send you photo's, letters and e-mail on the child's progress, and if they'd like, could even schedule visits for you to see the baby. Of course, an open adoption is for the adoptive parents to choose. You could say you'd like to find a family who are more open to open adoptions, but remember that you'd no longer be the parent, and they have the option of changing it from an open adoption to a closed one if they wish. The next one is a closed adoption. Pretty self-explanatory. You would have no contact with the baby or their adoptive parents. The child could find you if they wish later in their life, but until that time is chosen, you would have no contact with them whatsoever.
• Abortion: Probably the most challenging of all options. I'm sure you know about them, and the lovely workers at Planned Parenthood could give you more detailed information on it.

Once you find out if you're pregnant or not, it's best to talk out these options with your parents, your boyfriend and his parents and see which one works best for you. Make sure you and your boyfriend make the final decisions, since it's your body and your child and you're the parent. The decisions are going to be ultimately up to you at that point.

I hope this helped.

First of all, try to keep your cool. Being worried about being pregnant can cause stress, and stress can make your period later than it is supposed to be. So basically, your period could be later because you are stressed, and then you'll just be freaking out even more. So take a breath, be calm, and relax. If you want to take a test in a couple days and then take one a few days later, than by all means do that to give yourself some peace of mind. However, don't if you think it will stress you out more. If you are feeling stressed about it I wouldn't worry about pregnancy until (since you are on the pill) a few days after you are supposed to get your period. At that point, take a test. Take it before the mark of when you would start your next cycle of pills. If it comes up negative, you're probably not pregnant. If at the end of the week you still haven't gotten your period, call your doctor just to find out whether or not you should still take your pills as directed. Do this before you actually need to start taking the next round of pills, otherwise you will be thrown off even more. Even if you do take the tests the way you proposed, be sure to still call your doctor if you should continue your normal cycle of pills if you haven't gotten your period by the time you are supposed to begin the next cycle.

To answer your next question, IF you are pregnant, there are several options you can explore. There is, of course, termination of the pregnancy, which can be done before the fetus has gestated for 12 weeks. However, I would only suggest this option if you are 100% okay with the idea. i have known people who have had abortions only to have it weigh heavily on their conscience later in life, and even cause them to pass negative judgments about who they are as people. So think carefully about this option before you choose it. If you are comfortable with it, morally and emotionally speaking, it's actually probably the easiest option. Least expensive by far, anyway, and with the least amount of pressure on your body and your emotional health.

There is also adoption. You can have a closed adoption, in which the adoption is arranged and you don't have contact with the child again, or you can have an open adoption, where the adoption is arranged and you can still receive pictures and letters about how your child is doing. I think in some cases it can even be arranged that you get to see the child, though I don't think it's very common, and you wouldn't be able to see the child as its mother. Many adoptions are open these days, but there are still closed adoptions, too. The choice is really up to you. Adoption is a wonderful example for people who are in your situation (not financially independent enough to care for a child, not done with their education, etc.) who don't want to keep the baby, but who do want to give birth to it. There is some more physical taxing to your body and emotions, not only because pregnancy can be an emotional time, but because the pain of giving up a child, even if you know it's the best thing for everyone, can be very, very hard. Still, it's another option for you.

The last, of course, is to raise the baby yourself. This, of course, is the most financially, emotionally, and physically draining option. At your age, it's unlikely that you would have a job in which you can comfortably support a baby, considering they are very expensive to care for. Your future would be forever changed for you and your boyfriend; once you commit to parenthood, it's a life long obligation. You will be responsible for your baby until it is eighteen, really even beyond, if you consider paying for their college education and helping him or her get established as an adult. While it will not be impossible for you to get through college, your college career, IF you can manage it still, will become much more prolonged and much more difficult to get through, and probably put on hold for a while. It's very hard to do homework and pay attention in class the next day if you have to wake up every hour to a screaming baby all night long. Basically, your life becomes dedicated to your baby. Your social life will become almost non existent for a while, and there are other consequences, too. Like I said, big life changes come with a baby, and many young parents think they can handle it only to have it turn out they have trouble balancing everything. After all, at this age you are still growing and changing as an individual. This process will be severely impacted by the presence of a baby.

So far it seems I've painted this option out to be negative, but it is not all bad. While many young parents do struggle with children, many also find joy and satisfaction in being parents. It can be so rewarding and filled with love; it truly is a special thing to be a parent. It has many of its own blessings and merits that can be just as important as all of the things I have mentioned above. And the two CAN be balanced. While it is difficult, it is not impossible.

My best friend gave birth to her children when she was not much older than you are. And she went to college. It took her years, between having to withdraw to take care of her children and life's other pressures, but after about 16 years she finally earned her degree in Computer Design and Graphics. She has two beautiful teenage children now, a great job, and she is very satisfied with her life. She is my true life example of someone who entered parenthood who, while she may not have actually been entirely prepared for parenthood, especially as a single parent (which she was from the time they were babies), managed to succeed and find much happiness with herself and her children.

So really, all of the above options have their benefits and drawbacks. You can also research all of them in more depth on your own. There are plenty of other sites that can give you much better information than I can. IF it turns out you are pregnant, you can begin researching these options and see which one fits you the best.

So for now, try to relax and focus on your studies and such. Things will work in their own time.

Good luck.

[Maloo]

I just want to point out that if you use your birth control regularly, take it when you're supposed to, and the pill you missed was either in the 2nd or 3 week of the pack, there's an incredibly LOW chance that you're pregnant.

But like others have said, just take a test, and go from there.