Female Advice Preferred: I may be pregnant and he wants abortion

[babygirl1993]

Me and ex-boyfriend have been working things out between us so we can get back together. He's the perfect guy for me and cares about me no matter what. Anyways, while fixing things between us we have been getting intimate and we're worried that I could become pregnant. I'm on the pill, but he refuses to use condoms. He wants me to go get a pregnancy test done at Planned Parenthood whether or not I miss my period, which is late, and if it turns out positive he wants me to get an abortion. I love him and would do anything for him and I agreed to the abortion matter, but deep down I can't get an abortion. I don't approve of them. I don't know what to do, or what will happen if I carry the baby full term. I don't know if he would leave me or stay by my side. I was thinking of maybe hiding the pregnancy from him, if there is one, but I don't know if I'll get in trouble for that.

[Stargazed.]

Hey, first off - welcome to TeenHelp I really think you should talk to him about how you really feel. If you keep that inside, he's going to expect you to get an abortion and when you don't, he's going to be confused. It's really important to be honest about your feelings in this subject. If you guys are trying to work on your relationship, how would you hide the pregnancy from him? Would you leave him? Like I said, I believe honesty is very important. Talk about your feelings and make the best decision for both of you. It's ultimately YOUR decision. If you're against abortion, what about adoption? Could you do that? If he really loves you, he will support you and stay by your side despite what you chose to do. Also, before you make any decisions; you need to find out if your in fact pregnant or not!
I'm gonna leave this with good luck and if you ever need to talk, feel free to message me anytime. I wish you the best<3

[escape_thereal_world]

Planned Parenthood can help set you up with assistance if you decide to keep the baby. They can help find places for you to live, rent assistance, food assistance, all sorts of organizations which can help you with raising your child, or you can put the baby up for adoption. They counsel you and provide you with all the information you need.

If you would regret an abortion, do not stay with somebody who will make you have one. You have choices. This is something you are against. YOU make the decision. Talk with him, figure out why he doesn't want a child. Obviously you are young, but there are ways you can afford a child at a young age as a couple or as a single parent.

I would suggest going to Planned Parenthood for a test and if it is positive, then you should ask them for information on your options and maybe counseling as a couple. If you are not pregnant, I still suggest talking to your boyfriend about why he doesn't want a child if it were to happen accidentally. This is a HUGE issue that needs to be addressed, because accidents DO happen.

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.
Also, welcome to TeenHelp. I hope we are able to help you

Kelly

[Harmony♥]

Regardless of what he wants you to do, the decision is ultimately up to you. It's your body, and you shouldn't be forced into having an abortion if you don't want one. Abortions could be extremely complicating, including making it harder for you to conceive if and when you decide to have children later.

Planned Parenthood has great assistance plans to help you out along the way, helping you decide whether to keep the baby or to put the baby up for adoption. Explain to him that abortion isn't the only option you have, and neither is keeping the baby. There is such a huge wait for the adoption of newborns, that you could really help someone if you chose to adopt out.

However, you don't know if you're pregnant yet, and there could be plenty of reasons why your period hasn't shown up yet. Stress can be an added factor, and it seems like stressing out about a pregnancy could keep your period at bay. Keep that in mind. Relax, and don't make any assumptions until you know.

[Moxie.]

Hey there.
I think that it's really important for you to be honest with him about what you're feeling. Relationships mean respect, so he needs to respect your choices, especially with this. It's your body, so the decision for this is ultimately yours. If you do decide to keep the baby, Planned Parenthood will hook you up with everything you need. Maybe one of the reasons he wants you to have an abortion is because he doesn't think either one of you will have time to take care of the baby. If that's the case, I would encourage you to really look at that. If it turns out that you won't have time, you can still keep the baby. You can simply work something out with an agency that will ensure the baby will end up in a good home. Most of the time, the families these babies go to are families in which it is impossible for the couple to have a baby. You might even be able to work it out so you're still in the baby's life, even if another set of parents is raising it. I really hope everything works out for you. PM me if you ever need someone to talk to. Good luck with everything.

[Harmony♥]

Originally Posted by LovesBrokenDream

Hey there.
I think that it's really important for you to be honest with him about what you're feeling. Relationships mean respect, so he needs to respect your choices, especially with this. It's your body, so the decision for this is ultimately yours. If you do decide to keep the baby, Planned Parenthood will hook you up with everything you need. Maybe one of the reasons he wants you to have an abortion is because he doesn't think either one of you will have time to take care of the baby. If that's the case, I would encourage you to really look at that. If it turns out that you won't have time, you can still keep the baby. You can simply work something out with an agency that will ensure the baby will end up in a good home. Most of the time, the families these babies go to are families in which it is impossible for the couple to have a baby. You might even be able to work it out so you're still in the baby's life, even if another set of parents is raising it. I really hope everything works out for you. PM me if you ever need someone to talk to. Good luck with everything.

What you explained is called an Open Adoption, and they do exist. She would just need to find a family that wants an open adoption, since once she gives the baby up for adoption, the choice is no longer hers.

[MaggzB]

i know how you feel. my current fiance and i just miscarried but it was scary when i first found out because i am in the military and have seen him in over a month when i told him he freaked and told me i have to get an abortion since we are both 18. like you i am totally against them and we split for like a week because of it but now we are back together and happy he got scared and appologized for trying to get me to have an abortion and like a friend of mine told me babys change men and i agree with her 100% they seem to get super scared at first but turn around and want it and cant wait

when we found out a misscarried about a week ago it was devastating but god wanted it that way. i am not on birth control and we never use a condom dangerous i know since we are young but we both have agreed on it and since we are getting married next year and hes like rich i guess i dont have much to worry about when it comes to taking care of a baby but it is still a scary thing.

PM me any time you want im always here if you have any questions about anything

[Bagheera Kiplingi]

Hey, I would just like to say that if it isn't what you want then you shouldn't get it. I had a miscarriage and my sister had a abortion. She had a abortion because her boyfriend wanted her to as well and she to this day lives with a lot of regret and my miscarriage haunts me every single day. Please don't look at this as me trying to guilt you into keeping the baby, it's not I promise. I am just trying to tell you that if you have this abortion and its not what you want inside then you will regret it.
So I'm just trying to say before you make this decision please make sure its for you and not him because your the one that could end up regretting it and having it haunt you.
If you ever need someone to talk to just PM me okay?
Hope I helped a little.