3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Oh My God I'm three months pregnant and didn't even realise untill like a week ago, Jason is being charged with sexual assault on a minor. There's no way I'm getting an abortion or giving my baby up for adoption, my dad and brother have said he will help me out. Also its twins :o I'm so scared, but yet excited I love that I'm going to have someone to love and someone who will love me unconditionally back :hug:

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

I second what the above poster have said.. You need to see a doctor..

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

I know the risks and I also know that a baby is alot of hard work because of my baby brother Shane.

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Hey there :)
First of I just wanted to say that this response is not meant to be mean or rude, I'm just being honest, and trying to help.

But I do have to agree with everyone else, I don't think any teenager is ready to be a mother, heck even some adults aren't ready to be parents, never mind an 11 year old, especially because these babies didn't come from love, you were assaulted, you need to heal from that and take time to heal and be okay before you can even considering raising a child, never mind 2 children.

What about school?, your 11, so your in 5th or 6th grade, you haven’t even hit middle school yet, or high school, how do you expect to finish school, while raising 2 babies?? I mean your not even legally old enough to get a job to support these babies, I'm not saying you should get an abortion but I'm saying you should defiantly consider adoption. Do you really believe you can provide everything for 2 babies at 11? I mean I'm 17 and I know I'm defiantly not ready to be a parent. Even though you have experience with your baby brother, that’s not the same as being a mom ( trust me, I have 2 younger brothers and multiple younger cousins that I always baby-sit), being a big sister means you can give him back to your parents when he cries, or needs a diaper change, or won't listen, you can't do that with your own baby (babies).

My brother is 11 and I can't even fathom him being a father at this age, you should be playing with your friends, learning who you are, learning new skills, having fun at school, discovering your talents, not worrying about being a mother. Your still a child yourself, you should live your childhood while you can.

You not only have to think about the emotional consequences but also the physical, your 11, so I'm guessing your probably not very big, your probably a petite girl, your body most likely cannot carry one baby, let alone 2, it can be very dangerous for you and your babies.

What happens when you become a teen, and you start going to parties or wanting to have bfs, or hang out with friends, or do after school activity?? You can't do that stuff with 2 toddlers. Don't you want to experience your life as a young adult before you have children, don't you want to do all the things your friends with be doing, don't you want to know that when you have kids, you'll be financially, emotionally and physically ready for them?? Babies are no joke, one of my friends has a 7 month old, and she finds it extremely difficult, and she has the support from her parents, friends, grandparents, fiancé, fiancés parents and even our school accommodates her. But I remember her being pregnant, a lot of people were disgusted, called her names, made fun of her, told her horrible things, could you handle that?? I know you would love your children but unfortunately that’s not all they need. Could you handle being up at 2 am feeding twins, one screams the other one screams, changing diapers at all hours of the night, waking up at ridiculous times, your life will be altered, these babies deserve someone who can give them everything they need, they depend on someone for their lives.

I'm not saying its an easy decision, I know it would be hard for me ( and I'm 17), but you need to consider not only what is best for you but what is best for these children.

I do hope that everything works out for you in the end. I'm sorry if this offended you, I just really hope you considering everything.

-Tessa

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Tessa hit it all on the mark. As an 11 year old, the chances of you being physically, emotionally, and mentally ready for a baby let alone two are slim to none. Both you and the babies could be harmed during this pregnancy, a teenage pregnancy can be fatal and you aren't even a teen yet. This is very serious and as happy and giddy as you seem to be it doesn't seem to me like you are taking this serious. I mean these are babies, not just babies you can hand off to your parents when they cry. It's your choice what to do, but if I were pregnant at 11 I would seriously consider adoption. It would be better for the babies, I mean your only 11, assuming you have the babies while your still 11 you would have two 5 year olds by the time your 16. When you legally become and adult at 18 you'll be caring for two 7 year olds and by the time they're adults at 18 you'll only be 29, not even 30. In my opinion, adoption would be a much better option. You could even look into open adoption where you can get pictures and they'll know about you, you may even be able to visit sometimes, but in your case I would rather recommend a closed adoption. No option you have will be easy, but think of the babies. Would they have a better life with an 11 year old who can't even legally get a job until they are 5 years old, 3 at the very very least. Or with a married or engaged family in their late 20's or 30's who have at least one job and are financially stable enough to care for two babies?

In the end it is your choice but I highly suggest a closed adoption.

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

I have to agree with Cheye a baby isn't the easiest thing to handle. Your only 11 you don't need that kind of stress, I know your against abortion, but adoption is probably the best option for you. Your still a kid, you should be out with your friends playing and having fun, you should worry about school and not have to worry about a baby. I know this will be hard but your not even a teen yet...

Pm me if you ever need to talk, I'm always here...

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

And where your so young the baby is more at risk at developing disabilities babies with disabilities are hard to handle, trust me I got my little brother to deal with who has autism, I think its best if you look into adoption or abortion babies are alot of strain, emotionally and physically.

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

I have to say that I agree with everyone else. At 11 years old, it is unlikely that your body will be developed sufficiently enough to be able to carry one baby, let alone two! Your education will be severely affected, compromising your ability to provide enough of an income to financially deal with children in the future. You won't be eligable for a lot of jobs until you are at least 14, either, even those that require no qualifications, and even they will only be on a part time basis with only a basic wage. Babies can be very expensive! Two cots, nappies, clothing, medical care, push chairs, day care, high chairs, sterilisers, formula milk, bedding, bottles and food are all very expensive things, not to mention twice the number of presents to buy at Christmas, which may not seem significant, but it is to a child. All of these things add up to quite a lot of money, and are only the things required by babies, and the cost only gets greater as they get older, what with school trips and clothes to pay for as well.

A lot of thirty year olds find it both financially and physically difficult to deal with twins, even with the help of partners and families, and the wage that full time employment that both members of a couple bring in.

Maybe you could go to your doctor, and just ask him/her to talk you through the risks of going through with such a pregnancy, and maybe talk to someone about the possibility of an open adoption or something?

I wish you all the luck in the world, but beg of you to take what everyone else has said in to consideration and gain a greater understanding of the implications of being not even a teen mother.

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

All I can tell you is good luck. I wish you all the best, and it's wonderful that your dad and brother want to help out. You need your family now, especially after having gone through the trauma of rape at such a young age.

We'll be here if you ever want to talk or get advice. :)

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Hey,
well done on getting Jason put behind bars :)
A baby is by no means a walk in the park. My best friend's son is 2 now and he's such a handful, my friend does struggle at times. And he was a very much planned & wanted child. But you already know it's going to be hard, you're in the situation now and just need to make the best of it. I wish you the best of luck with the pregnancy & birth. Have you told any of your friends about the pregnancy yet? I hope they're supportive for you, it's great that your Dad & brother are :)

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

You act like it's her choice which it wasn't. Sorry to be so up front with that comment but seriously you don't need to try to scare the crap out of her. Yes she needs to know the facts but you're only giving her half the truth, Shannon was right in mentioning that other much more older women as well have complications with twins, it's almost to be expected not just because of her age.

Now onto helping. Obviously the first time I posted it was to tell you what could happen, and I'll admit I was not very supportive. I still stand by my final answer, but whatever you choose people will be here to support you, you can always find support here on TH, especially from wonderful people like Shannon.

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

I have been pm apples.1996, her religious beliefs dont allow her to have an abortion, but her family is thinking of adoption in the family, like her dad or aunt or something will adopt them. She also hasn't had the guts to reply to these your all scaring the shit out of her, she's actually thinking of coming off the site. Please we don't need to scare her we need to help her...:?:)

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Well it's like Shannon and I said, the point has been made more than enough times yet people are continuing to make it. At least Shannon and I are here for her, as well as many others. The point was to scare the complete and utter crap out of her, but she needed to be informed of her situation, the choice is hers, and we on TH are here for her. I'm sorry that she had to be scared like that, it really is a serious thing, but the majority are also trying to offer support and what they know. It's just it's been stated all too many times.

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

I really think you should consider adoption. In my opinion, no one under the age of 20 (at the very least) is emotionally, financially, and realistically ready for a baby, let alone two. I know it seems all beautiful and happy and whatnot, but in reality your life will essentially come to an end at such a young age. You'll have no time to yourself, you'll have no money for yourself, everything will (and should) be devoted to the children). I believe it is fully appropriate for teenhelpers to help people with a situation, whether that be unconditional support or a blunt explanation of the facts. It is a reality and must be faced.

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

I'll follow my extreme post with a more supportive one: you'll get through this, as will the kids, no matter what happens in the end. Time goes on and everyone will survive, no matter how grim the present seems, you are no exception :)

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

You keep posting the same thing too:

Everyone here is awful! Why am I the only good person on Teenhelp??


I'm not advocating scaring her, but if giving her the facts scare her, that can't be helped. I'm not advocating blaming her, because it obviously isn't her fault.

Still, it's a lot more helpful for her to see the reality of the situation than to tell her congratulations, you're going to be a great pre teen parent and everything from here on out will be rainbows and puppy dogs. It's going to be difficult, and if she can't handle hearing the truth about the situation, how will she ever be ready to handle two babies?

I see on this thread a lot of love and support. People want her to have a good life and not worry about this kind of crap until she's at LEAST ten years older. Yes, that's not going to happen now... and that's sad... but do you really think it's best for all parties involved that an 11 year old raises two children? Because I live in the real world and I can see that it's not.

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Absolutely right. I too would be terrified being in that position reading this thread.

I think if she needs an abortion, that would be for a doctor to determine if it is medically necessary. If she is able to carry the children safely then she should not be scared into something she would not be comfortable doing.

I wish the best for her and I hope the person who did this stays in jail for a long time and that all of his assets are seized to assist her in this fragile situation.

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Hey now, there is no reason to be rude, and you are being rude.

We're not saying that the realities of what she is going through and will have to go through shouldn't be brought up we're saying that after 17 (I counted) times, she gets the point. We don't need 17 people to say the exact same thing. Honestly yes if she can't handle the truth of it she probably can't handle two small babies, but no one needs to have 17 out of 20 people constantly telling them how bad it is. She gets it, and you know what? 3-5 people out of all 20 gave her support, 17 only stated bad facts on what could happen, no support there. The goal of TH is to yes state the facts, but to also support. What kind of reputation does it give to Teenhelp if 20 people post and 17 of them post the same exact thing, in turn scaring the absolute shit out of someone who is only 11 and did not ask to be in this situation. I'll say it, it makes it look like this site doesn't care whether they're helping a person or only being repetitive to the point of scaring an 11 year old out of her mind. And Teen help is supposed the place where anyone can go to get help without judgment. Now how is it not judgmental for 17 people to post the same thing. I agree I was wrong by posting my first post, I was the 6th person to say the same thing, and that was too much, but 17?! 17?! Really? You can not sit there and tell me that someone needs to hear the exact same thing, demeaning her at that, 17 times. I'll admit,not every one of those 17 posts is demeaning but the majority are, because they aren't saying, "Look, it's your decision, you already have the facts from the above posters here's my suggestion, if you need help or support PM me," No they all only tell her how bad her situation is. Well you know what, it's enough. honestly 5 is too much, I think at the most 3 of those posts telling her how bad her situation is is fine, at the most. But again, 17?! Every single person who posted after the third post stating that is not helping TH or her in anyway, myself included when it came to my first post. At least Shannon tried to show support, and because she's trying to get people stop, that's trying to tell her it's all sunshine and rainbows? I don't think so. She's trying to give her the support that TH offers, that very few others are giving her.

Yes I realize some may see this as rude and that's what I was against with my first sentence, but people aren't getting that every single post only saying how bad her situation is after the third one is rude. Yes I know this is a rant but it's because apparently 14 (only 14 because I said 3 at the most have the right to say the same thing, even 3 is pushing it) people, again including myself in my first post, don't read or don't care about her feelings.

Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

Please look after yourself and do what you think is right. Keep all your options open and keep your family involved. Best of luck xxxxxxxxxxx

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Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

There is no point into pushing her to get an abortion as Crimson has stated that its against her religious beliefs and she already knows the risks repeating them over and over is just scaring her, she is a young girl whose scared and afraid, her mind is probably confused, she needs our love and support through this we don't need her to get depressed or be so afraid she does something stupid.

I'm here for your apples and so is many other people, if you ever need help just drop us a message...

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Yeah well I given up, I got the people who I need and have thanked the people who deserved it I'm fed up with you all judging me as I get that enough already. I thank you for trying but its just making me feel worse with what people say. I already knew the risks I was looking for some fucking support, but to me it sounds like your all just hypocrites how would you feel in my position? my religion is dear to me and it prevents me from getting abortion so stop trying to push me into one. I wasn't going to answer this right now but what do I have to loose, I don't give a shit anymore...

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Re: 3 months pregnant and I didn't even know?
 

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Please Myss its not helping. She is going through a hard time and I know you may not have liked her response but please try to see it from her point of view. No one here is in the wrong or the right its just one of those things people have SO many different views on. I don't think the intention of the post was to get suggestions of what she should have done or should do I think she just wanted some justification for her choice and some respect. I am not having a go at anyone, I just don't want people getting too upset over this. (: xxxx