Pregnant at 15. With a Rapist's Child.

[askingcolie]

I am 15 years old and a few weeks ago I was raped by a boy I thought I could trust. He did not use a condom.

My period is almost five days late (though I am never late) and I have the early symptoms of pregnancy.
I also have boyfriend. I refuse to ask him to be a teenaged father to a baby that is not his, although I know he will want to. it's completely unrealistic. So is keeping this child. I am completely against abortion. I just hope I will have the strength it takes to give the baby up for adoption. It would be safer for the baby, godforbid his/her biological shithead father comes after us for it. It would be better growing up in a financially stable home.
I have vowed that if the test turns up positive, I will take whatever measures neccesary to protect the baby.
I still have no idea how to tell my mom or my boyfriend or deal with the looks at school. I don't know how I will be able to get a job to support myself while I am pregnant, and if I kept the baby, them also. I am also very scared for my life if I keep the baby, if it's father finds out I am pregnant.
Advice?

[Fictional]

First thing I have to say is that I admire your bravery. With regards to telling your parents, I think the best thing you could do is calmly explain everything to them. Which parent do you feel closest to? Maybe you could write them a letter explaining that the boy raped you and now you think you're pregnant. If I were you though, I'd wait to take a test first. I'm not sure how easily available they are, but I think that you can get pregnancy tests that should be acurate about two weeks after sex.
Have you reported the boy to the police? I'd also recomend speaking to a GP or maybe a social worker to see what advice they have about keeping the baby safe. Would you parents be able to help you pay or medical bills etc? It might be quite difficult for you to get a job, unless you only apply for temporary posts.
With adoption, would you perhaps prefer an open adoption? (here's the Wiki page xD http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_adoption) I know in the UK, you have absolutely no legal obligation to go through with the adoption unless you're completely sure that you want to; if you have the baby and decide you want to keep it, that should be fine legally.
That's all the adivce I have, i'm afraid, having never been in your situation, but if you ever want to talk, you can always p.m. me

`Jessy

[Thurineth]

Have you told them you were raped?? I think that should be the first step to take

[FlyingTrue]

Nicole,
Check your private message inbox for some helpful information from me.

[Sythan]

You are so brave and such a good person. Instead of thinking of yourself, you are only thinking of the baby, that is something truly admirable. Telling your mom is the biggest deal right now, she can help and support you, same with your boyfriend. As for school, homeschooling is the best option in my opinion, at least until the baby is born.

[ShesNotThere]

First of all, you are so, so brave. I really admire you.

The first step might be telling your parents. It will be hard, but worth it. Especially about the rape - an adult needs to know about that right away. If it makes you more comfortable, take a pregnancy test before confronting your parents.

I think you're making the right decision about not aborting the baby, and I'm so glad you're going to stand by it. I know you're scared, I can't imagine how scary this must be. Please don't hesitate to PM me if you want to talk.

Good luck,
Sam

[Harmony♥]

I commend you on how bravely your handling the situation.
First off, as other's have already mentioned, you might want to explain that you were raped and it wasn't premeditated sex with someone. Things can be done to make sure that the person who did that to you can never do that to another girl and make her go through the same thing you are going through. Your parents and boyfriend should be informed. While, it's going to be scary telling them that you might be pregnant, you first need to find out for yourself. Then, you can decide what you think is best.

[Gavroche]

Nicole, I am so sorry to hear about what has happened to you, being raped is one of the most horrific and dehumanizing experience one can imagine. Your decision to keep your child shows incomparable bravery and love, you seem to have a strength most people can only dream about.

[Nope]

Nicole I am so, so sorry for what happened to you. I know exactly what you're going through. I had my daughter after being raped by my ex boyfriend. She is 5 months old now and the light of my life.

First of all, you NEED to tell someone. Get him arrested. If he is in jail, he cannot harm you or your baby.
Second, take a pregnancy test to make sure you really are pregnant and go to the doctor. Get tested for STD's, make sure you and your baby are healthy.
Third, learn. Learn your options. I see you are looking at adoption...find all the information you can on adoptions in your area. Just know that adoption is VERY hard on your emotions. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle giving up my daughter, so I chose to keep her.

Lastly, it is your choice. Your life, your baby, your decision. Don't let anyone persuade you into doing something you don't want to do. Then again, do what's best for you and your baby.

I know this is a lot to deal with, especially after being raped. The best thing is to tell someone, and if necessary, get therapy. Rape is not something that should be treated lightly. This guy needs to go to jail.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here.

[TheSlytherinRose]

I'm 13, and I was raped too, by my cousin's friend. it turned out I was pregnant, but on the day that my whole school found out, I got hurt and I lost my poor baby. I had planned to keep it, at my house, and have my mom raise it (she's pregnant, and she wanted twins) because I loved it soooooo much! When it turned out I lost it, I told the guidence counsler it was a lie, and she told my mom that I was a compulsive lier, and to take me to counsling. I hate this, because I lost my inncoent, precious baby, and I have no help getting over the grief, not to mention stupid school where I get called names all day (no help from the guidence counsler)! It helps that I found this website, so I can atleast let it all out now...