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im pregnant!
i just found out that i am pregnant
and about 3 weeks! i am so happy!:D but also scared:? what do i do now? |
Re: im pregnant!
What does the father think?
Do your parents know? |
Re: im pregnant!
no my parnets dont know
my mom said that she would kick me out if i ever did get pregnant and my boyfriend is excited to he cried.hehe he is going to support me and the baby. |
Re: im pregnant!
You need to tell your parents, make an obgyn appointment. Get the pregnancy confirmed by a doctor, start pre-natals and decide if you're going to keep the baby or not.
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Re: im pregnant!
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Definately. Without telling your parents, you might not able to get to see a doctor and both you and the baby need proper care while your pregnant. Were you trying to get pregnant? |
Re: im pregnant!
Like has already been said, you need to get to a doctor, start taking your prenatal vitamins and most of all tell your parents you are pregnant. It is important you are also eating right and taking care of yourself for the health of your child.
I, personally, would not be excited to find myself pregnant at 16. Are you scared or nervous at all? Especially considering your mother said she would kicked you out if you were to get pregnant. I know your boyfriend says he'll support you and the baby... but those silly boys like to talk a lot and never act upon it. Have you done any research as to how you will care for this baby financially? Not only after it's here, but while you are pregnant too? Will you have medical insurance if your mom chooses to kick you out? What about unexpected expenses after your child is here... medical bills, etc.? How do you expect to handle things emotionally? Do you really think you are ready to live with a boyfriend already? I can assure you it will not be like playing house in the least. The baby will put a strain on the relationship like they do with most, you may fight more often than usual, while also having to manage money and school. Babies are very emotionally draining. They wake up multiple times a night for at least a couple months and if your little one ends up with colic it may possibly spend hours of its evening screaming its little head off. Hell, even babies without colic spend a good amount of their time crying. Also, that little baby who seems so cute and cuddly in the beginning with be a toddler within a years time. Are you prepared to be a mother to this child for all through its adolescent and teenage years? I'm just trying to say that having a baby will not equal a fairytale ending for you and your boyfriend like most girls seem to think. It will be more than hard work, it will most likely be a struggle. I love my son and he really is the light of my life... I won't dare say I regret him, but having him has made things hard for me. I think you can ask and most moms on here will say without a doubt they would have waited longer to have their kid. If you choose to keep the baby, then congrats and best of luck to your family :) I'm not trying to kill the happiness you are feeling right now, I just want to make sure you know what a life changing decision having a baby truly is. |
Re: im pregnant!
The way I see it, you've got three big problems here.
1. Your boyfriend may say that he's going to take care of you, but the fact of the matter is that you're both still kids. Children need a lot more than a minimum wage job can provide. This should give you a pretty good idea of how much a baby costs. 2. Your parents don't know yet, and your mom has already expressed her disapproval. If she acts upon her threat and does kick you out of the house, you'll be a homeless, pregnant 16-year-old. That is a really bad spot to be in, obviously. 3. You're young. I know a lot of girls your age who have had babies and kept them say that their decision was a good one, but a lot of the time it isn't. The overwhelming stress and anxiety that a baby brings is something that a lot of young parents can't cope with. Your relationship with your boyfriend will take more than a few bruises, and might even shatter completely. A breakup is hard enough without throwing a baby into the mix. I think at this point in your life, you need to decide what you're going to do with this baby. You can abort, adopt it out or keep it. Not one of these decisions is easy and not one is without consequences. As for the short term, you need to (as previous posters have pointed out) go to a doctor to make you're actually pregnant, start getting prenatal care, and tell your parents (and probably even your boyfriend's parents as well--they need to know). If you're going to keep the baby, you're going to need financial help from your parents or boyfriend's parents, which is something that you'll need to talk to them about as well. Budgeting is very important. You also need to decide if you and your boyfriend are going to get your own place or continue living in separate residences. Best of luck with your decision. I'm only a PM away if you need me. :] |
Re: im pregnant!
wow that is alot and yes i think i am ready for this. but im not ready to tell my mom
my boyfriend is 19 he isnt a kid any more and like i said that is alot to think about. and i truly want this. i was pregnant before and i lost my baby girl. and i was trying again and i am so happy now that i got a second chance |
Re: im pregnant!
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I really think you should get some help here. Since your mother disapproved, you might want to talk to your counselor/aunt/uncle/grandpa/grandma/etc. and have him or her help you speak with your parents. If you can have an appointment with your doctor and have him help you talk to you parents, then do that, too. If you want to keep the baby, then you would want to provide your baby the best care possible. You need prenatal care and you need support from those around you. You cannot hide your pregnancy forever; soon your mother will notice. I believe you might as well seek help now and somehow receive the approval of parents from both sides (yours and his). |
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Re: im pregnant!
book a doctors appointment and tell your parents. you need to take responsibility. if you were trying for a baby then surely you thought about what would happen if/when you got pregnant? give yourself a few days to get over the shock them speak to your parents. does your boyfriend have a job? how are you going to cope financially?
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Re: im pregnant!
I know having a baby at your age isn't gonna be easy, and everything everyone above said is true as well. but Congratulations :)
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Re: im pregnant!
Well if you were trying then congratulations, likes its been said already you're going to need to get in to a doctor asap to confirm the pregnancy, you'll need to get on prenatal vitamins as well. You should start education yourself about pregnancy by reading up and researching some sites, I found this one to be quite helpful when I was pregnant with my son: http://www.planningfamily.com
You're going to have alot of thinking to do, being pregnant isn't something that's easily swept under the rug, your life just took a drastic change and you're going to have to figure out how to juggle everything if you want to make things work. Best of luck! |
Re: im pregnant!
Pretty much everything that I was going to say was already said.
You do have a few problems because he is above the age of consent. I know telling your mother is hard, but have him come with you when you tell her, she needs to know. I'm not sure why you want to try handling a child, school, and finances at such a young age when it can be easier later, but to each their own I suppose. Either way, congrats :) |
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I think you should seriously consider adoption. |
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Re: im pregnant!
Once you turn 18, sure, you become a legal adult. But, your still a child. Most 19 year olds don't plan on having a baby. And, as already mentioned, your parents can get him for statutory rape (rape with consent of a minor) and he'll go to jail for a long time for this. Your boyfriend will have to register as a sex offender once he gets out, and if he doesn't do that, then he can get into even more trouble. No 16 year old child is ready for for the responsibilities of taking care of a child. Your going to miss out on an education, on the excitement of hitting your senior year of high school and homecomings and prom's. You might think your ready, but your not. No one is ready for parenthood. Not even the people who are old enough to care for a child. |
Re: im pregnant!
I agree with Shannon Ashley, it's hard raising a child, and at 16 are you really ready? You still have school and everything ahead of you, a baby added to the mix will make everything harder.
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk, Take care |
Re: im pregnant!
Being 19 doesn't mean you have all the answer once a baby comes along.
I was 19 when me and hubby got pregnant and 20 when I gave birth. I'm still learning a LOT about MYSELF. Not all 19 year olds are mature enough to handle a kid, but if he says he is then well you're just going to have to trust that I guess... But to be honest, neither one of you should become parents unless you can tell your parents about the future baby. If you can't communicate with them well, you're in for a rocky few years. |
Re: im pregnant!
I've never used planned parenthood for abbortions however I've had to use there clinics for my yearly exams they are the ONLY place around here that will give a woman a free exam and I have found its not really the employes that creep me out and piss me off but the protesters that don't know what they are REALLY protesting yes they do abotions but that's NOT all they do. anyways I'm not sure if this will be much help but heres there web sight http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
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Re: im pregnant!
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Re: im pregnant!
I have to agree with everyone else, what about school? a job? an apartment/house if you happen to get kicked out? What if your boyfriend decides he doesnt want a baby? I dont think it is a very intelligent decision to be trying to get pregnant at 16....to me its not fair to the baby or yourself and your bf.
One of my friends has a baby, she is 16, and its very very very hard for her and she has the support of her parents, friends, bf, and her bfs parents, which is very lucky, not alot of young girls get that, its ridicusly hard for her, even with all the support, imagine how hard it would be if you didnt have any support, if your parents kicked you out, and your bf left ( or possibly prison if he does get charged with so),think about that. Would it be fair for your baby to grow up with no grandparents, potentially no father, and a struggling teen mom?? what about you? dont you want to go to prom, parties,formals,bonfires,road trips ect ect all these things that you should be doing, not worrying about a child.Dont you want to finish school? Would you like your kids to know you finished high school, went to college and made something for yourself?? Wouldnt you like to be financially stable, so you dont have to worry about how your going to buy a bag of diapers? I would strongly suggest talking to your parents, making a plan for you and this baby. Anyways i hope everything turns out okay for you. |
Re: im pregnant!
Hey
I think everyone else has hit the nail on the head, so I'm not gonna go on too much. Other than to add, that you do need to tell your parents. They may need to help you out with medical care etc. Also this child is their grandchild, they need to know. Your boyfriend, he may be 19, and legally, an adult. But there's a lot more to being an adult than just being 19. I know I wouldnt have been ready for a baby at 19, I did a lot of growing up and maturing between 19 and the age I am now, 23. I still dont think I'm ready for a child. There's also the financial side of things-babies cost a lot on their own, but then there's rent/mortgage, food, clothing, household bills etc etc. Yes there will be help out there for you but you need a plan, a budget, work out your incomings and outgoings etc. Are yous both going to have jobs? How are yous going to financially support yourself and this little person who is coming into your life. It wont be easy whatever route you choose but I wish you all the very best Take care x |
Re: im pregnant!
i am 19 with a baby...
I couldn't imagine being 16 I was so immature! I still am!! Your life is going to change. Makes me angry to know little girls are making babies on purpose. |
Re: im pregnant!
i know what i got myself into!
y cant yall just be happy for me?! i dont expect it to be easy but it sure as hell will be worth it i dont agree with abortion and my bf doesn't agree with adoption so we are keeping it. |
Re: im pregnant!
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Re: im pregnant!
i am going to tell her! i havent really talked to her in a while. we both are really busy
but i will do it |
Re: im pregnant!
Well as a mother, it's just hard to be happy for a pregnant 16 year old no matter what.
Doesn't mean we wont offer you advice and support when you need it, just means it's very hard for us to wrap our heads around a 16 year old wanting to get pregnant so young. |
Re: im pregnant!
i understand that
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If you are planning to keep the child while your mother refuse to support this, then it's a wise choice to explain yourself to another person first--perhaps your boyfriend's family, your aunt/uncle/grandpa/grandma, or your school's counselor. After you have found a person who have agreed to help, have that person be present when you are going to tell your mother this. The last thing we want to happen right now is to have you and your mother enter "lionesses' fury mode" against each other. This person will act as a peace-keeper while you two talk. Have your boyfriend present, too, if you can. Your boyfriend's present there is preparation in case of the worst situation. At worst, he's going to be the outlet for your mother's fury. And he would be fine, don't worry; if he's going to parent a child, then he should at least be able to take this. He's the man you chose after all, right? :shades: And good luck to both of you and the child! :) |
Re: im pregnant!
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Re: im pregnant!
Amanda,
Please understand that people here aren't trying to be mean or rude to you but the fact of the matter is you're really young. I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 17 and had her when I was 18...It changed my whole world, it's a lot of responsibility! People are worried is all. You still haven't said if your boyfriend has a job. I understand he said he would support you and the baby but what if that falls through? My mom said she would kick me out to but it didn't happen that way. If you were planning for a baby then you NEED the care of a doctor. When I got pregnant with my second child, my son, I didn't know I was pregnant because I still had all my periods and never gained any weight so we didn't have the care of a doctor. I found out I was pregnant when I started having major seizures that turned out to be due to Pre-Eclampsia. My son was born 3 MONTHS early....We both almost died and on top of it all spent a whole month in the hospital and he still has complications to this day. You -know- You're pregnant. Do what's best for you and your baby please! |
Re: im pregnant!
What I don't understand is that you were actively TRYING to get pregnant at such a young age, KNOWING that your mother wouldn't approve and could kick you out as well as put your boyfriend in prison. You're scared to tell your mother, yet you did nothing to stop it. It would be one thing if you were using protection and it just happened by chance.
You're not setting yourself up to be in a good position - you OR the baby. How do you plan on supporting the baby financially? I'd hope you'd be staying in school, your boyfriend will be working, and where will the baby be? It's hard enough on a one income family to survive with a good paying job... Forget about one where you're getting paid minimum wage or slightly more. Think LOGICALLY about this. A baby is way too expensive to raise for young kids who don't have high enough of an education to get a decent paying job. Even if the both of you get jobs, you'll still be scrounging to get by. You don't want to put yourself through that. It's way too much stress which can very negatively impact home life for not only you, but the child as well. When a family is suffering financially, the children know it, even at a very young age, because they see the effect it has on them. Please consider adoption or at least telling your parents and asking for their support. You don't want to put yourself in a situation with no support at all. |
Re: im pregnant!
Everyone has said what I was going to say, but I will say this: I understand you and your mother are busy people. But for this, you have to make time to explain to her and talk to her about this. You are her daughter, she will love you no matter what, I'm sure. But it's important you tell her, and the sooner, the better.
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Re: im pregnant!
i am trying to make time for that.
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Re: im pregnant!
Amanda, how about the next time you see your mom, even if you don't think you have the time, let her know there is something really important that you need to discuss with her. You planned this pregnancy, you decided that you wanted to bring a child into the world and raise it up so with that decision comes a lot of responsibility. That means that you need to take the time to make the right choices and right now that choice would be telling your mother that you are pregnant and getting the medical attention that you and your baby need. Failure to have a doctor during pregnancy can cause a lot of serious complications as I spoke about in my last post.
No one here is trying to be pushy or mean but you're young and right now you're not only putting your health at risk but your babies as well. Think about this and please please go talk to your mother. |
Re: im pregnant!
You just need to tell her, even if she is busy at the time. That baby is not going to wait to be born just so you can find the right time to talk to your mom.
Sooner she knows what's going on, sooner she can cool down and decide what to do. :) |
Re: im pregnant!
I agree with everyone else. You will feel so much better after you tell your mom! :)
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