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-   -   Female Advice Preferred: Pregnant? (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f7-pregnancy-childcare/t63382-pregnant/)

lelala January 2nd 2011 10:14 PM
Pregnant?
 
I have taken three tests, and one has said no, and the other two said yes. Im scared as hell. Im only 15 almost 16 in two months, and I cant handle more to add to my stress. I cant tell my mom, or anyone. I need a quick way to get an abortion. PLEASE HELP ME.

FlyingTrue January 2nd 2011 10:33 PM
Re: Pregnant?
 
I think considering your age, parental consent may be required in a majority of situations. What country are you in?

lelala January 2nd 2011 10:43 PM
Re: Pregnant?
 
Im in the US.

losing touch. January 3rd 2011 01:28 AM
Re: Pregnant?
 
go and see your doctor to get the pregnancy confirmed first before you start planning an abortion.
just from a quick google.. seems like it depends what state you're in to what the law is on needing parental consent or not. if you go to a clinic or see your doctor they'll be able to tell you.

xx_fallenangel_xx January 3rd 2011 01:56 AM
Re: Pregnant?
 
I know you are scared and do not want to hear a speech on pro-life, but I need to tell you something. Things right now seem scary and overwhelming. I would not rush into getting an abortion because it would be silencing the voice of a human. I would confront your mother or someone you trust and tell them about your concerns. Then you can visit a doctor to confirm you are pregnant. Adoption is such a wonderful option. Open (where you can see your child) or closed (where you don't) are very good alternatives to ending your child's life. PM if you want to hear more about the adoption option.

lelala January 3rd 2011 02:19 AM
Re: Pregnant?
 
Please help me. Im scared. And depressed and i dont know what to do. Im going to have the guy who got me pregnant take me to planned parenthood but im still scared. because i dont know how to pay for it, or for anything.

Dark-and-Twisty January 3rd 2011 02:26 AM
Re: Pregnant?
 
I know you say you "can't" talk to your mom, but I really think you should. She might be disappointed, but she'll probably more support to you than you know. Whether you like it or not, your best option is to tell your mom or another trusted adult.

Think twice before you run off to an abortion clinic. I know you're scared, and it seems like the best option, but once you've calmed down and all, you might change your mind.

Talk to an adult.

Maloo January 3rd 2011 02:27 AM
Re: Pregnant?
 
It is entirely your decision on what to do. Don't let ANYONE else influence your decision.

When you go to Planned Parenthood, just talk to the doctor/nurse that you'll be seeing. They've dealt with things like this on numerous occasions, and they'll be able to give you information that you're looking for. :)

xx_fallenangel_xx January 3rd 2011 09:33 AM
Re: Pregnant?
 
If you do decide to get an abortion, which I don't agree with, but make sure that you find out everything beforehand. Someone I know got an abortion and as a result can no longer have kids. They are only 19 and they won't be able to have kids in later years. (it doesn't happen to everyone but it can). Also call into mind the emotional aspects of it as well. I strongly urge you to just THINK about things before you make any decisions.

shimmeringfaerie January 3rd 2011 09:54 AM
Re: Pregnant?
 
Ariella, is there a reason why you feel like you can't tell your mum or anyone else? The thing is that abortions are extremely stressful in themselves. And as you've said, you are really scared and really upset right now. I actually think that telling someone older might make you feel better about this. You need as much support as you can get right now, both emotionally and otherwise. If you ultimately choose to have an abortion, they are expensive and someone is going to need to pay for it, so you may have no choice but to tell your mum. They can also take a huge toll on your body and you might need someone to look after you physically afterwards.


Quote:
Originally Posted by xx_fallenangel_xx
If you do decide to get an abortion, which I don't agree with, but make sure that you find out everything beforehand. Someone I know got an abortion and as a result can no longer have kids. They are only 19 and they won't be able to have kids in later years. (it doesn't happen to everyone but it can). Also call into mind the emotional aspects of it as well. I strongly urge you to just THINK about things before you make any decisions.
It's fine that you don't believe in abortions. But I honestly think it's incredibly wrong of you to try and scare a young girl into not having one when that's clearly what she wants. I agree with you that Ariella should think about her options before rushing into having an abortion. But thinking about her options should involve actual medical facts and not stories of how one girl can't have kids anymore supposedly because of an abortion. It's not your place to try and bias her with scary stories and it's certainly not helpful to her right now.

LucyLouWho January 3rd 2011 03:01 PM
Re: Pregnant?
 
Just make sure you actually think calmly and rationally about this before you actually get an abortion. Think of the reasons why you want the abortion. If you're not 100% sure about it, you shouldn't do it quickly... because once the baby inside of you is gone, there's no getting it back no matter how much you regret your decision. But if you are sure that you won't have regrets about it, go for it.

xx_fallenangel_xx January 3rd 2011 11:25 PM
Re: Pregnant?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie (Post 552794)
Ariella, is there a reason why you feel like you can't tell your mum or anyone else? The thing is that abortions are extremely stressful in themselves. And as you've said, you are really scared and really upset right now. I actually think that telling someone older might make you feel better about this. You need as much support as you can get right now, both emotionally and otherwise. If you ultimately choose to have an abortion, they are expensive and someone is going to need to pay for it, so you may have no choice but to tell your mum. They can also take a huge toll on your body and you might need someone to look after you physically afterwards.




It's fine that you don't believe in abortions. But I honestly think it's incredibly wrong of you to try and scare a young girl into not having one when that's clearly what she wants. I agree with you that Ariella should think about her options before rushing into having an abortion. But thinking about her options should involve actual medical facts and not stories of how one girl can't have kids anymore supposedly because of an abortion. It's not your place to try and bias her with scary stories and it's certainly not helpful to her right now.
i did not tell her that to scare her but I think she has the right to know. My friend did not know that when she got the abortion and she wished she had know that. It was meerly met to let her know.

Maloo January 3rd 2011 11:35 PM
Re: Pregnant?
 
But I'm pretty sure that it's also really rare for that to happen, so kind of irrelevant.

Most abortions go perfectly well with no long term complications.

SamMarie January 3rd 2011 11:56 PM
Re: Pregnant?
 
I think if there are no other ways that you need to tell your parents. It will be rough, but the longer you wait, the harder abortion becomes an option because it may be too late. You need to know more about abortion so have a trusted adult get more information from a doctor to know the facts. It will be A LOT harder if you wait and then your parents find out later.. do you really think that will help in the long run? It will cause more stress which is why it's better for them to know EARLIER.

obelus January 4th 2011 12:40 AM
Re: Pregnant?
 
Another thing to keep in mind is that, normally, things don't stay a secret forever and come out one way or another eventually. So telling your mother sooner rather than later may be for the best. Whether you choose to get an abortion or not is entirely up to you. Some people aren't ready for being a mother yet, and like you said, you're barely 16. Adoption is definitely an option, but so is abortion and the option of keeping your child. It's up to you and what you think is best. Don't let yourself go through this alone in real life, any of it no matter what you decide to do. The truth is, trying to do this all yourself isn't really a reachable goal. Speaking to your mum might really help and she will probably support you more than you think.

MisplacedDreamer January 4th 2011 07:24 PM
Re: Pregnant?
 
Do you feel safe enough listing your state? Each state have different laws, but I am pretty sure all states allow minors to have an abortion without their parents finding out through the court system if the state requires parental consent. It is a pain though, but do-able.

Also, the abortion is probably not going to be free, although sometimes they do have programs that can help you out. It is state-by-state case.

Why are you considering an abortion? Do you want an abortion or is it more of a necessity?

Quote:
Originally Posted by xx_fallenangel_xx (Post 552499)
I know you are scared and do not want to hear a speech on pro-life, but I need to tell you something. Things right now seem scary and overwhelming. I would not rush into getting an abortion because it would be silencing the voice of a human. I would confront your mother or someone you trust and tell them about your concerns. Then you can visit a doctor to confirm you are pregnant. Adoption is such a wonderful option. Open (where you can see your child) or closed (where you don't) are very good alternatives to ending your child's life. PM if you want to hear more about the adoption option.
Except it may shock you to know that open adoptions aren't enforceable in many states. And great job on trying to guilt-trip her! You could have written it a lot better and left about the guilt-tripping bullshit. (It is possible and I used to do it all the time.)

Also, maybe you should look into giving birth vs abortion. Abortion is a lot safer than giving birth. The same side effects of sterility can occur from giving birth too. The risks of becoming infertile are lower than the risk of sterility or death from pregnancy.

Age of Ignorance January 8th 2011 09:47 AM
Re: Pregnant?
 
Just quietly, you can pull a false-negative test, but it is EXTREMELY rare to pull a false-positive let alone two of them.

Anyway, I don't care what everyone else says, I don't believe any 15 year old going through school should be subjected to the pain endured in pregnancy and birthing, let alone the added pressure on your home life, school life and of course, your social life. Clearly, the OP doesn't want the baby. Fair enough - abort it. If you think you may regret it, think thoroughly through your options and decide after that.


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