Pregnant and fearing for my own life

[crybaby]

I had a thread on here about a month ago and was going to update but it's closed. Anyways, last week I had an abortion procedure scheduled and went in to find out how far along I was. I didn't want to see the ultrasound. But Turns out I was exactly 24 weeks and I couldn't get the abortion. I felt helpless and my whole life shattered right in front of me. Every bit of happiness I ever had was stolen from me. When the nurse gave me the ultrasound, I started crying. My life wasn't supposed to be like this. I had a mental breakdown at planned parenthood and said that I needed the abortion or I couldn't live because they don't understand the situation. Florida laws state you can have an abortion up until 24 weeks. They treated me like a freak. That's not how someone who is dealing with depression should be treated. I was forced to have unprotected sex with an abusive ex and he's not in life anymore so the baby doesn't have a dad. He isn't going to help me pay for anything at all and he doesn't care at all. At this point, I have to kill myself. I want to give this child up for adoption and give it a life it deserves but I DONT have the money to continue living up until it's born. My parents don't know yet and once they find out, I'll be kicked out and won't have anywhere to live. My family is strict and teen pregnancy is something they would never ever accept. Even if I was raped they would blame it on me. They would rather see me suffer than support me during this hard time. I have attempted suicide before and I'm not afraid to try again. I don't have money for prenatal care. I don't have insurance so I don't know how I'm going to see a doctor or anything for the baby. How am I going to deliver the baby without money? Where am I going to live? I started working recently and I make no where enough to rent a small studio or apartment in Florida. I'm sure I'll be fired once i start showing more. Right now it looks like I'm bloated but I'm going to show sooner or later. What am I going to do? I'm so scared. I want to live so bad but if things are only going to be worse for here on out, I'm going to kill myself. Please help me. I'm scared.

My previous thread was "Possibly pregnant... Really scared" if you want to read and get more info on my situation...

[Not_here]

Hey there,
I understand that you don't have money for prenatal care but there might be domestic violence victim shelters or rape victim shelters that help people who are in your position. I do not know your county but I can look for some resources to get you started and hopefully you will go there and get the support you need. I will come back to edit and add resource websites
Edit: http://www.sunrisepasco.org/services.html
http://www.facelife.org/rguide.htm
http://www.safetampabay.org/domesticviolence.html

I think these sites is a good place to start. You can also try hotlines of rape and sexual abuse victims, they may be able to help you more tailored to your location and specific needs. Please don't lose hope, you can give the child for adoption. You can get through the pregnancy. There are people who will support you even if family won't. I know it is hard right now but please try to get assistance before. You will never know if you never try.

[anonymouswhale]

Hi there,

You are a strong young woman, and you will pursue through these challenges. This will be 9 months of your life that you may not be happy with, but you will conquer every obstacle that is going to come your way now. If you can get through this, you're so much stronger.

Let's face these realities.

1) We can't get an abortion.
This would have been the easiest option, but for some circumstance or another, it is not possible to do the procedure. Let this be a sign that this child will be born, and trust that everything happens for a reason.

2) What do we do, now that we can't get the abortion?
Well, the two main options are to keep it or adopt it out. It sounds like based on your financial and personal living situation, that bringing the baby for adoption is the most sound answer. Now, rather than getting the mindset that you are abandoning the baby, try to see this as a selfless act on your part. You need to eat healthy and make this the healthiest pregnancy possible for the baby. Now that the pregnancy must continue, it is best to ensure that this child will have its best foot forward when it enters the world. You're setting up another person for success, you're helping them. Even if they don't end up being your responsibility.

3) Getting through this. Is there a way to get around this without telling your parents? Sometimes, there is no other way. You'll need to go to the hospital, and get their insurance to cover this stay. It is the best financial situation for you. How will you go about telling them? Perhaps, you could tell only one of them at first. Which parent is more likely to listen to you? Explain the situation to them, and that you've done everything in your power, and you understand they're unhappy, but it is imperative that you have their support to get through this problem together. They do not have another choice.

We're here for you.

[Squiggly]

Another option is finding parent's who want to adopt your baby and have them pay for all the cost's. There are many people willing to do that. Contact an adoption agency to get more information? For a lot of people who can't have babies of their own it's usually a very very long wait to be able to adopt a newborn baby and so a lot of them would be willing to help you out if it meant they could get a healthy newborn baby sooner. I don't know a whole lot about it but I have heard about it a few times and it might be worth looking into?

[Lelola]

You need to look into Florida Medicaid.

http://www.myflfamilies.com/service-...-cash/medicaid

Usually until means 23 weeks and below and not 24. I do not work in Florida so I do not know the exact law. If you were threatening suicide, they should have called the police to take you into custody at that point though. They understand situations but they cannot make exceptions. The law is strict.

I strongly encourage you to seek professional mental health to seek out coping skills. In your situation, you are at risk for harming yourself as you have stated multiple times that you want to die

[Coffee.]

This situation is absolutely awful and I am so so sorry that you are going through it. I agree with everybody else...but I'm going to give a recommendation that may not be realistic. Would it be possible for you to drive to a state with more liberal laws? It looks like South Carolina has a later law than your state (third trimester). I've researched, and this is legal, but I would perhaps even find a clinic (Planned Parenthood) that you can contact in that state and made an arrangement. It's obviously not preferred, but you deserve medical treatment and your state is putting up these (in my opinion, unethical) barriers. Thought I'd offer another option.

[Not_here]

I haven't considered what Traci was saying because it didn't even occur to me but it makes sense. You may still have the chance to get an abortion. You have options, don't lose hope.

[crybaby]

I'm all alone in this situation. No one knows as of now. I'm trying to find a place that I can afford. Rent is so expensive here. The cheapest place I can find is 600 dollars and I barely make that much a month. I have no credit. If the place even accepts me, I'll have no money for food, prenatal vitamins or medicine. I don't have any friends to rely on and I'd rather disappear than be laughed at. Neither of my parents would accept it. I live with both of my parents right now and the moment I tell them, I'll be banished from the house. I wish I was never brought into this world. Babies are supposed to be miracles but to me they are a huge mistake. If I put it up for adoption, would that family help me with medical care and housing? I have no other source of income besides my current job and I can't work another job because I'll end up working at night and buses don't run that late. I don't drive which is a big problem. My life is a mess. I never asked for this. I hate my ex for ruining my life. I hate this child inside of me. I wish I knew sooner so I could've gotten an abortion and wouldn't feel this way. I'm better off dead.

Would I have to pay any amount of money to give the baby up for adoption?

[Eternal]

I believe if you find a couple who would want to adopt the baby, they would be the ones who pay for your medical bills.

[Lelola]

Medicaid can help with the bills and you need to make an effort to apply now for medicaid. It is basically the government's insurance. You may be able to apply for WIC but you may have to move out of your parents' house for that.

You need to start looking for a job. If you will have to move out, you will need to get an apartment. Since you're young, this may be a bigger issue. Don't turn down any job even if it is low paying or the hours aren't good.

Laws vary from state to state as to what the adoption parents are allowed to provide. However, you may have to get the birth father involved in the process. An attorney at the adoption agency can give you better information. It shouldn't cost you anything as in giving the child up as the adoptive parents usually cover that but they may or may not be able to cover expenses related to birth depending on the laws.

Also, remember that Florida has a safe haven law. Meaning you can leave a baby under 7 days old at a fire station, EMS station, or a hospital. You can remain anonymous as long as you do not abuse the child.

[anonymouswhale]

http://www.adoptionflorida.org/birth...l#.VK6XqKbmkyA

I know this company is based out of Florida. I recommend speaking with an adoption counselor and being in touch with them during the pregnancy. They will listen to your concerns, offer suggestions, and most importantly support you.

Also, I recommend doing this instead of leaving the baby outside as another poster suggested. While this is legal and definitely an option, I think it would be better to have the child have a family/adoptive parents from the start, rather than scrambling around for a family.

[Lelola]

Originally Posted by ImprovisedStarlight

Also, I recommend doing this instead of leaving the baby outside as another poster suggested. While this is legal and definitely an option, I think it would be better to have the child have a family/adoptive parents from the start, rather than scrambling around for a family.

Sorry, I forgot that people need things written out in very specific details.

1. Safe haven laws are designed to prevent mothers from leaving their babies outside.
2. Leaving a baby outside is considered ABUSE. That would not fall under safe haven laws.
3. Leaving a baby at a police, EMS, fire, or hospital would involve going inside and leaving the child with a worker there.
4. If there is no abuse, such as leaving the child outside, then the mother can remain anonymous.
5. Said infant needs to be under 7 days old.

Thanks for reminding me that it is very important to be specific with people. Common sense isn't common.


Safe haven laws are designed to help reduce the infants that are abandoned in unsafe conditions such as mothers dumping them in trash.

[crybaby]

What do I do if I can't find a family for the baby? If no one wants to adopt it? Will I have to take the baby home with me?

[patriciawilliamson]

The person who cheated you and who is the father of this baby is a piece of shit, He makes you alone in this critical condition where you are facing financial,physical and social problems but in this time you should not give up and fight back to life.

[Lelola]

Originally Posted by crybaby

What do I do if I can't find a family for the baby? If no one wants to adopt it? Will I have to take the baby home with me?

There are always people looking to do private adoptions, preferably one that is closed. I know one couple who have been trying to adopt a baby for a long time and one of them is a physician assistant. There are people trying to adopt children. Going through an agency is the best bet because it'll ensure that everything is legal.


If the agency cannot find a family (which is highly unlikely), then you can surrender the infant to either a police officer, hospital worker, or firefighter/EMT within 7 days of the birth anonymously unless there are signs of abuse.