How to tell my aunt and uncle that my cousin is pregnant?

[Viper1996]

I have just got off the phone with my 14 year old cousin, she was crying and really upset, but she's pregnant, she's had three positive pregnancy tests and when she told her boyfriend he ran. She begged me not to tell her parents but I told her I wouldn't make any promises, I told her she needs to tell them, but she's not listening and has this crazy plan that she can run away. I told her that was impossible because unlike most run aways she's pregnant and needs proper care and attention because of her age, she's still not listening. I don't know what to do, I don't want to betray my cousin, but I can't let her go through with her plan. Any Ideas on how I can fix this? My aunt and Uncle are very strict and my cousin naturally rebels against there rules and she's ended up in this mess. My cousin is only 14 and I'm terrified for her, she's a child herself and she is immature for her age and has always been sheltered by her parents. I'm scared for her, she doesn't understand how big this situation is, all she thinks is that her parents is going to be mad at her, she hasn't thought about the fact this is a baby and babies need food, clothes, money ect. I don't know if I should be mad or sad or what, but I want to help her.



--Also I don't want any hate about that I come on here before telling my family because I know people on here has gone through this stuff and will help me more than anyone else because they will over react--

[Jaguar]

First, no hate. You're doing the right thing by getting all the advice you can.

I don't think there's any choice but to tell her parents. They're going to find out anyway soon enough and if she goes missing as a runaway she exposes herself to all kinds of bad shit including rape and murder. You already understand you have to do all you can to prevent that.

Yeah, she's not going to like it, but like you said she's not making rational decisions right now. She's young and from what you say, immature, and she's going to need a lot of help. There's no way she can deal with this herself no matter how much she thinks she can. After her parents know, all you can do is be there for her and give her as much support as a loving cousin can.

[Lizzie]

You are right; she needs a responsible adult in her life looking after her right now. Being 14 and pregnant can have a lot of complications and she really needs to see a doctor as soon as she can. I think the best way to approach this would be to tell your own parents what happened. Tell them everything she said about getting positive pregnancy tests, about not telling anyone and not running away. Then your parents can talk to your Aunt and Uncle about it. It might go over more smoothly that way.

But, you need to do this today, you don’t know when she will decide to run away and someone needs to know sooner rather than later. If you feel like you can’t tell your parents face to face, you can try writing all of this down and placing the letter somewhere you know they will find it. That way they will still get the information. It’s not fair to you that your cousin put you in this situation, but, now you do need to do the responsible thing and talk to your parents.

[LANIKA]

I wouldn't recommend telling them. Let her do it, it's not like it can stay hidden forever, anyway. They'll find out eventually but I honestly think it's better they hear it from her, their daughter, as opposed to you. Just be there for her and support her.

[Viper1996]

I told my mum and she has spoke to my cousin and is going to help her tell my aunt and uncle. She also told us that she is not sure who the dad is and that she cheated on her boyfriend and thats why he is upset. I don't know what to do, she has made a big mess of all this, I'm trying to support her, but the more I find out about what she has done, the worse it seems to be. I just feel bad because maybe if I had been there for her more, I would of been able to stop her from making these mistakes.

[Nightblood.]

I'm glad you told your mom. I just want to say that you shouldn't feel responsible for this. She made the decision to have sex, you are not responsible for her getting pregnant. Feeling like you should have been there more isn't going to change anything, it won't do anything except make you feel worse. Just try to be there for her now.