TeenHelp - My friend is pregnant

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My friend is pregnant

Ok, so I just found out that my friend is 3 months pregnant with a guy she has been dating for like 6 months and is getting married in less than a month.

I don't know what to think. She has a history of thinking that what ever guy she is with is "the one" and gets all these ideas about how it is "perfect" and then the guy breaks up with her (or her with him) and she swears off guys and says guys are stupid, relationships are bad, there is no such thing as true love etc. And then she gets a new boyfriend 5 seconds later....

SO I am a bit worried because given her history to get VERY serious with guys VERY fast I think I have a bit of a reason to be concerned because I feel like it's like she's pregnant now, so she should just get married? Like is she getting married cause she wants to be married to him and ONLY cause she wants to be married to him? Or is she getting married cause she wants married and now being pregnant by this boyfriend (baby daddy) gives her the perfect excuse to bump it up? I've never been the one to think that being pregnant means you need to get married even sooner than you would of otherwise, especially not while in your early 20's

I get it, this MIGHT be the time that it sticks, so I really don't need people coming back to me and saying something like that. But what I am wondering is if it is unreasonable for me to think she might be using being pregnant as a reason to get married sooner than she would otherwise? Especially given her history. And what about in a year or 2 or now and she's suddenly like "oops, what did I do?". I would NEVER regret a baby, I think the oops might be in place of the seemingly rushed marriage... And I don't want to pry with directly asking her cause I don't want her to think I am not happy for her when I am, its just that I have concerns about why they need to be married now. And I am biased cause of my opinions on her past relationships...

Re: My friend is pregnant

Your thoughts and concerns are very reasonable. Given her history, it seems very plausible that she could be using her pregnancy as way to say "Hey, this was meant to be. We're going to get married now". As a friend, of course you have every right to think this, or even voice those concerns to her. But, then again, she's going through a difficult and scary time as well, so also remember that being there for her is going to be your best bet as well.

Re: My friend is pregnant

She’s pregnant and has to take responsibility for her actions and quite frankly marrying the person you are going to have a baby with is not an abnormal want. If this is her decision then as a friend you just need to support her and be there for her. You may not agree with how things have come about, but it’s too late for that now. You are either with her or against her. If you question her motives it could ruin your friendship. She is an adult and she needs to make these decisions for herself. She is going through something huge and she needs the support of her friend. She doesn’t need anyone questioning her past decisions right now. That’s my take.

Re: My friend is pregnant

Hi there

While it must be difficult to watch your friend go through this, given her history, there's not a lot you can do. It's her choice and you've got to let her go through with it. Just be a friend and be there when she needs you.

Re: My friend is pregnant

I never said I was going to say anything to her about it? I am not sure where the last 2 posters are getting that idea from? I have no intention of saying anything to her simply cause I have doubts of why she is getting married so soon.

I see no problem with her being in a relationship with this guy, raising the baby together and then getting married when they are ready. But that's not my choice. And I am not questioning her past choices, I am questioning what I know of her based on my experience with her.

I am happy for her, I am just worried that getting married so soon (and the potential that it's only cause she's pregnant) is rash. And what am I supposed to do? Nothing. I can do nothing. I am happy she is happy and that things (at least for now) are working out for her. And until it goes wrong I can't say that my worries are absolute and I wouldn't want to burst her bubble if I am not right.

Re: My friend is pregnant

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lizzie (Post 949824)

If you question her motives it could ruin your friendship. She is an adult and she needs to make these decisions for herself. She is going through something huge and she needs the support of her friend. She doesn’t need anyone questioning her past decisions right now. That’s my take.

My best friend did this to me when she found out I am pregnant and it was really very annoying especially because she was wrong. She kept saying that it seemed like I wanted a baby really badly and that why would I be in such a rush when I have so much time still and I am so young. And she kept saying stuff to me to try and change my mind. I told her it's too late to change my mind when I am already pregnant HELLO! Plus I wasn't rushing and I do wan't kids but I didn't purposely get pregnant! I was excited to tell her because I thought she would be happy for me and I was disappointed and she didn't even really have the right to say anything since she had a baby before me and she was younger! It's like you said that I am a adult and I can make my own choices.

ANYWAYS now that I vented that on someone else's thread I will say that it is not wrong of you at all that you think this and it is perfectly normal that your worried I would be too. The best thing you can do is support her and if things do go bad to be there for her. I wish her the best and hope everything goes well for her and her baby.