Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!) As a guest you can submit help requests, create and reply to Forum posts, join our Chat Room and read our range of articles & resources. By registering you will be able to get fully involved in our community and enjoy features such as connect with members worldwide, add friends & send messages, express yourself through a Blog, find others with similar interests in Social Groups, post pictures and links, set up a profile and more! Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!
Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, birth control and sexual health, ask here!
Hey well, tbh, I was a bit scared of posting all this, but its better to just get it over with...
Basicly, sometimes I have problems getting hard,
Sometimes I'll be watching Porn, and I'll end up getting an erection straight away, but sometimes i'll have to watch a bit of a video for a while before I get hard,
Or sometimes I have to struggle to get hard,
Same goes with ejaculating too,
Sometimes it'll be easy, sometimes I'll have to struggle,
Although nearly all the time I end up ejaculating with the thought of my ex, (We broke up in January)
Although if I'm out I ALWAYS look at other Women, at like, there hips/butt/chest...
I tend to suffer with depression half the time and I tend to not get alot of sleep,
But I'm starting college in September and really wanting to find myself a new girlfriend, and to be able to get intimate with her, but I'm worried that I won't be able to get it up or something, no matter how much I want to get intimate with her. (I'm still a virgin... *is ashamed* >_<)
I need advice because I don't wanna screw anything up...
What you're experiencing is perfectly normal. I think every guy worries about not being able to "get it up" at some point in their lives. Getting an erection isn't just physical, but mostly psychological. If you're not feeling good, then ejaculating, let alone maintaining an erection for a certain period of time, will be extremely difficult (if not impossible). You need to solve your problems with your ex girlfriend, and you need to find something that makes you feel good without the awkward effort into watching pornography. This is a problem that you work from the inside out, not the outside in.
As far as having problems in the bedroom, don't worry about that until it happens. When it does, it could be awkward, but if you solve your psychological problems first, I'm pretty sure it won't be as bad as you think. We've all been there man, just keep your spirits up and focus on your internal issues first. After that, I'm sure every other problem will take care of itself when you experience getting laid. Good luck!
And I'm pretty sure the next 10-15 people who post will agree with me, or say the same exact information. Remember: Inside out, not outside in.
I can't say much for the actual problem, but I will say that for one, you shouldn't be ashamed that you're a virgin, and for another, I should hope that for any woman you're with, it'd be a non-issue.
My first boyfriend was 21 and he was a virgin before me, and my current boyfriend is 18 and is a virgin. With my first boyfriend, when we decided we might try having sex, he had a hard time keeping his erection. I ended up suggesting that we stop and cuddle, so we stopped, we cuddled, we talked a bit, and then carried on. It was no big deal and he ended up staying hard the second time round. I have yet to reach that point with my current boyfriend, but whether or not it happens then... Again, it'll be a non-issue. Why? Because it happens, and the thing is that women get nerves for their first times too, obviously not about whether or not they'll keep their erections (), but some/many times, their nerves lead them to tensing up during sex, making it harder for it to actually occur. I think the important thing to remember is that if you're in a committed relationship with someone, you're likely to be with someone who's not only going to be willing to be patient but whose also willing to work with you in order to find a pace you're both comfortable with.
If you feel you'd like additional support or to speak further with me, you can contact me through my personal Tumblr, Love Like An Hourglass (click), or PM me through TH.
Yeah, I guess I'm just worried I won't be able to satisfy the girl I end up being with the first time in the Bedroom,
Like when I struggle to ejaclulate, I tend to lose my hard on straight away, (even if I haven't masturbated in a couple of days)
I'm proberly just being paranoid over nothing though,
Well if it helps any, my first boyfriend was almost mortified about it whereas it wasn't so important to me that it happened. It's not like you get one shot and that's it. If it got to the point of being absolutely necessary, you could always try again another night. If you're with someone who's with you for you, like I said, she'll be patient and understanding. I think it's the same way women tend to stress so much about their bodies when it comes to being in the bedroom... I am assuming that most men are attracted to their girlfriends. Despite your insecurities, it's not going to matter to your girlfriend as much as you might think.
If you feel you'd like additional support or to speak further with me, you can contact me through my personal Tumblr, Love Like An Hourglass (click), or PM me through TH.
If you're depressed and on anti-depressant meds that could be the whole problem. You shouldn't look at it as something inherently wrong with you. Also, could be low hormones. You might want to get checked by a doc.
I may try anti Depressance or something, or just work on getting a better sleeping Pattern,
And if that don't work, I may go to the doctors and see what happens, although I really doubt it's anything wrong with me,
You aren't supposed to try the anti-depressants to help. What Stephen was saying that if you are on them, that could be the problem. Since you aren't on them, this isn't the issue. Taking anti-depressants with no purpose behind them other than having an erection issue isn't healthy for you, so don't do it.
If the problem continues to persist, then you should consult a doctor about what is going on. They may be able to tell you what the problem is, since we aren't professionals.
I may wear the glass slippers; But my hero wears combat boots <3 I love you, Lieutenant
HelpLink Mentor 6/13/2011
Pregnancy & Childcare Moderator 11/26/2011
Fashion & Style Moderator 12/28/2011
Social Groups Moderator 12/28/2011
You aren't supposed to try the anti-depressants to help. What Stephen was saying that if you are on them, that could be the problem. Since you aren't on them, this isn't the issue. Taking anti-depressants with no purpose behind them other than having an erection issue isn't healthy for you, so don't do it.
If the problem continues to persist, then you should consult a doctor about what is going on. They may be able to tell you what the problem is, since we aren't professionals.
Oh sorry, I read it wrong
And okay, I'll try and get a doctors appointment sorted if it keeps happening,