Female Advice Preferred: Giving head..first time. Techniques?

[zebrachaotic]

Well, my boyfriend and I have done basically everything, except for me performing oral sex on him. He's done it to me, and I really enjoy it. He told me a while ago that he respects how I don't want to get into that kind of stuff. However now I know that he really wants me to do it. He practically asked me last night. I considered it, but only because we were in the pitch black and that's all that would have made me feel even the tiniest bit less awkward. I know that it's clean down there and all, but it still grosses me out. For one thing I have a horrible gag reflex. However, I am considering it. Not because I want to, but because I know he wants it. But my question is, how? I have absolutely NO CLUE how to go about giving head. Except for the obvious fact that his penis goes into my mouth. But what do I do? And when you did it the first time, where you completely freaking out? Will he be understanding that I don't know what I'm doing? And do you think he'll mind if I ask him if I can do it in the dark? Sorry, I just really don't know what to do about all this, and I just feel really pressured to do something.

[darkinnocenteyes]

well we can't really give you actual techniques... but google is good for that (or so I heard) lol... I can say though that it took me a really long time to get used to it, when I started, at first I didn't want him to look at me, and then after a while I started to get more comfortable, and now I love it and Imma pro. It's not really as complicated as you think so don't worry you're doing it wrong... its kinda hard to do it wrong lol... maybe ask him how he wants it and he'll tell you. Don't be nervous either. I really enjoy it because it makes my boy feel good... and thats my main reason for doing it. It can be pretty fun too, so don't stress. Also don't worry about your gag reflex so much. U don't have to try a superhuman feat if its difficult for you lol... just dont worry.

[DarkSeph]

Originally Posted by zebrachaotic

However, I am considering it. Not because I want to, but because I know he wants it. I just feel really pressured to do something.

Honestly, if that's the case then don't. It should be something you're completely comfortable with or willing to do. Your bf should be able to respect that you don't feel quite ready yet. Give it a little more time until you become used to the idea, there's no need to rush into these things.

[Allons-y!]

I want to tell you not to do it if you feel pressured, but I have a feeling that you, like me the first time I did it, are going to go through with it to make him happy despite your inhibitions. (By the way, I actually really enjoyed it. I think everybody is nervous the first time. That's normal. However...if you really don't want to do it, don't. If you're not comfortable with it, it's not going to be fun, and that's the POINT of sex in any form. Even after you do it the first time, don't feel like you HAVE to do it. You can always say no. He should understand that. Oral sex can be really intimidating if you've never done it before.) Just make sure that he's being understanding and everything. He sounds like a pretty decent guy. Beforehand, I'd just tell him that you feel really nervous about doing it. He will assure you that there's no need to be nervous. If you really don't want to, don't. You'll get more comfortable with the idea over time.

First of all, don't worry about the gagging thing. I have NEVER "deep-throated" a guy (this is when you put it reaaaally far in your mouth...obviously, if you've got a gag reflex, you're going to gag) and most guys I have talked to understand that girls are not to keen to do anything that might make them puke. And if you feel like you're going to gag at any time, you can always take it out.

Okay. My first time? Yeah, completely freaked out. I had no idea what to do! The only tips I could think of at the time was something I'd read on here, which was "pretend it's an ice cream cone." Haha. That worked alright, actually. If you feel more comfortable doing it in the dark, do that. Also, do it when he's laying down, not standing up. That's just awkward, especially for a first time. Um...(I'm trying to think of things that aren't overly explicit...xD)...What I like doing is combining it with touching him as well. That way, it's okay if you don't take too much of him in your mouth, because he's still stimulated by your hands. Alternatively, my ex would often touch himself while I was doing it. That worked, too. Also, don't feel pressured to make him come just from giving him head. You can do a combination of things. (And besides, I think semen is eccckky. No need to try it right away.)

I felt wayyy more comfortable doing it when he sort of talked me through it. Nothing too in-depth; he'd just occasionally say "I like that," or "Try doing this." Not only is it really helpful, but it makes it more intimate. You should always talk about what you're doing sexually! It's the only way to know what the other person likes and dislikes.

Also. If he puts his hand on your head or something like that, don't feel shy about telling him not to. I really hate it when guys try to force you to take more of them; if they do that to me, I just stop. I like being in control of what goes in my mouth, thank you. You can just tell him not to do it if he tries.

Finally...remember that it's about having fun. Try new things, but don't do anything you don't want to. Good luck!

[darkinnocenteyes]

Yeah i didn't say this origionally but if you feel like you aren't ready then don't... but if it's just nervousness... then go ahead. I was pretty much forced my first times and I hated it... it took me 3 years after that before I was ready for real.

[luckyblue_e]

I agree with everyone else; if you aren't ready, don't do it. It's never good to rush right into things, think it over, and talk about it, and see if you get used to the idea, or even want to give your boyfriend oral.

My first time was with my current (and first, lol) boyfriend. I was nervous, too; completely worried I'd do it 'wrong'. But I actually really wanted to do it. (Don't ask me why, I have no idea why I wanted to, except maybe for knowing that he might like it. xD) And, I also agree with Charlotte, just think of it as ice cream. You can even look it up on google, as well. (I even looked up tips for about a week. xD) And deffinetly don't feel like you have to 'deep-throat' him. It's your body, and mouth, and most people have a gag reflex, too.

There's not really a wrong way to do it...I'm sure your boyfriend will love you just being anywhere near that area. lol. Just take it slow, relax, and talk about it with your boyfriend. Don't worry about being amazing, I'm sure most guys aren't expecting their girlfriends to be porn stars their first time. (:

You can PM me if you want to talk. (:

--Emily

[.Actress.Singer.Dancer.]

Hey sweetie. If anyone is pressuring you to do anything you don't want to, tell them to knock it off. If you want to, then, go for it.

My first time was with my best friend. He was fairly large. I don't deep throat, but I hear there are ways to trick your body into not activating your gag reflex. Google it. I keep my fist at the base of their dick, that way even if he wants me to go deeper, I have a reason not to. (Heck, I even took his hands off my head, cuz I really didn't want to be controlled like that) ///_^ most guys will be happy, even if you suck at it... (haha. pun not intended.)

hope this helps.

[TheLittleNinja]

Yeah, I agree with pretty much all these posts. You got to be relaxed in yourself before you do anything like that - being pent up just doesn't work. Just do whatever you feel comfortable with - and work your way up to doing different things. I certainly wouldn't have let anyone hold my head on my first time - you've just be under your own control so you can stop if you need to. Also, I agree with the above post - it does help holding the base of the penis - but you'll figure own likes and dislikes if and when you agree to try it

[xxpaigiexx]

All I will say is, if you're not 100% confortable with the idea of giving your boyfriend oral sex then your best bet is to not do it.
Usually if you have a bad experience with giving oral sex it can make you less likely to want to or enjoy doing it.
So there's nothing wrong with waiting until you feel ready to do it. You have to be comfortable I think that includes lights on or off.
If your boyfriend is understanding then it won't bother him that you don't want to do it.
Hope things work out,
Paige

[Purple♥Sky]

Heyy if your not ready dont!!!!! you will know when your ready!!! You and he won't enjoy it if you are not comfortable! so whats the point right??
You'll know when your ready, instict will take over and you'll know what to do.
Don't worry about tecniques, cuase you'll know what to do. just go with it!!! and have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!
Giving head is one of my fave things!! lol BUT DONT IF YOUR NOT READY!!

[WillO'Wisp]

Well I gag too personally when I give head. I can't do it, I only did it once and I just won't do it again because it grosses me out so you're not the only one. Just the thought of putting a penis in my mouth has always turned me off a bit.

[Danzy]

I agree wit the posts above if ur not comfortable or ready dont.. I recently gave my bf head because i was comfortable wit him and the idea of doing it.. At first I didn't want him to look at me but now i'm cool wit it since we're really comfortable wit each other. There's ntn realli to it thou except guys tend to not want u to use ur teeth.. Best way to kno is google [it helped me] plus askin him how he likes it that helps alot! (:

[xander]

just thought i'd say, my girlfriend told me that she learnt this trick to get rid of your gag reflex, you have to push your thumb across you palm, under your thumbs own strength and it stops your gag reflex untill you take you thumb away, it was strange and sounded shaddy, but it worked. i enjoyed :L x

I haven't done head before, but I recently gave my first hand job and that was intimidating. But I am so glad I tried it anyway! I think sometimes you need to just push yourself to do things new. I've heard from LOTS of people that giving blowjobs is fun. So I would say try it at least once. If you don't you might regret it later... As for technique I believe you just pretend the end of the penis is a lollipop. Imagine it's your favorite flavour!