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Is it wrong to do this? -
March 13th 2022, 08:59 PM
[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Whenever I masturbate, I try not to think about actual people unless they are someone I have had sex with before. It feels kind of creepy, because I don't have their consent to do anything, even just in my head. Lately there's a friend who I am sexually attracted who I've been hanging out with. Well, I was cuddling with them the other night and I felt them become aroused against me. Now, neither of us is really pursuing anything sexual with the other at this moment, but the past couple of days when I have masturbated my thoughts stray to sexual fantasies involving them. I try and direct my thoughts towards other stuff when this happens, and it kind of works, but I still feel crappy because they are my friend and I don't know if they view me this way, so I don't know if it's right to have these thoughts about them.
Is this wrong of me? Am I being a bad person or friend?[/size][/color][/font]
Re: Is it wrong to do this? -
March 13th 2022, 09:11 PM
Hey there, thanks for reaching out! I want to say there's nothing wrong with masturbating to people you know as long as, of course, they're (at the present point in time) over the age of consent. That can be, of course, dependent on your own age; but it's my personal view.
Anyways, you shouldn't feel too badly about having such thoughts of your friend. You're right, you might never get anywhere with them but a little fantasy can never hurt. As long as you don't try to force yourself on them or coerce them into doing anything they don't want to do. I would not even bring it up with them, and if they act flirty with you then simply follow along. Don't call back to the masturbatory fantasies you had regarding them; move on and be in the present.
I can definitely see why you're feeling conflicted and that's perfectly normal! What you're doing is relatively normal too.
Re: Is it wrong to do this? -
March 14th 2022, 04:14 PM
Personally, I don't think it's bad you're having these thoughts! I actually think it reflects very positively on you that you would want to avoid thinking about people without their consent to be sexualized, I think that is very honorable. However, I wouldn't hold yourself to an unrealistic standard - it's very normal for your mind to wander to all sorts of places when you're masturbating and for people to pop in your head that you wouldn't normally think about. Good luck!