Female Advice Preferred: Sex is not feeling the same

[MojoveGal]

First of all I am happy that I found this message board because maybe somebody can tell me what I could do differently.
I have been with my boyfriend now since early January but we have been mostly separated for the last 4 months due too not being able to meet at school and not having any chance to really meet at all as we are 13 miles apart. We have had sex together a few times but the last time we did it was around mid-may.
Everything recently changed because now he has himself a drivers license and a pickup truck and now we are starting to get together more often.
We tried having sex last night, something that we planned, and something that we both wanted, but when we were starting to have intercourse my body could not relaxe and could not adjust and could not enjoy it. I could not get wet and it was a tad painful. What I ended up doing was faking everything about my enjoyment, and I partially faked it because I was hoping that my body would get into the rhythm, but I never did.
I read online yesterday that people are now starting to get used to not being around anybody and it's becoming normal to just be alone. I am very outgoing, I love hanging out with friends, I love having fun, but maybe I'm becoming one of those people that just wants to be alone?
But how do I get back into the rhythm of enjoying sex? Should I just keep trying again and again until I get back into some kind of normalcy? To be honest I have had 3 sexual partners and I do enjoy sex and I would like to keep on enjoying it from here on out.
Any advice is greatly appreciated. And I'm not looking for any judgment please.

Hi there. Thanks for coming to TeenHelp. We are happy to have you here!

Sex doesn't always work 100% of the time. Even the most passionate, experienced lovers have some sexual congress that is not ideal, or even just downright bad. I've had sex many, many times with many, many partners and there are definitely times where my body was just not into it. I often pushed it any way and that was a mistake.

Any number of factors could have influenced the way your body responded. My guess is that you just hadn't seen each other in a while and you might be out of sync. I would imagine if you keep trying you'll have more good times than bad ones, since you seem to be really into your boyfriend.

Another thing: talk to him about what is going on with you. Faking sexual enjoyment is never a good idea and it does a disservice to the one you love. I know you said you hoped it might make things feel better, and that's legitimate, but it's better to communicate with your partner about your sexual experience. Trust me on that one.

Good luck and PM me if you need anything else.

[~Madam~]

I personally feel asexual a lot of the times, so I can relate to not feeling "into it." I suggest just listening to your body. If you are comfortable enough to get naked and have sex with your boyfriend, you should be comfortable enough to tell him that it isn't working in the moment! Sometimes people aren't horny and that's okay. You shouldn't feel like you need to have a sexual relationship with him in order to have a strong and healthy relationship. Just communicate with him how you feel. Sometimes when a person gets stressed, it is hard to get in the mood. Intimacy is a whole bunch of things, and I think you should start to think about what that looks like for you!

[Perplexed Karen]

Ok, first off don't fake it. By doing so you are avoiding the problem and feeling bad about it.
Women have good days and bad days when it comes to sex, even when we want it sometimes our bodies just say "nope" and make it difficult.
Sometimes it's a short phase that happens randomly, other times it can be brought about from stress, nervousness, anger etc.
I wouldn't be surprised if you've been feeling some kind of stress given what is going on these days.
My suggestion is to not focus too much on sex and just try to be with him more often, become comfortable being with him again and move on from there. Perhaps change up your foreplay routine if you feel it's too fast or lacking.