TeenHelp - Adulthood.

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- Adulting (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f542-adulting/)

- - Adulthood. (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f542-adulting/t161552-adulthood/)

So, what is it about adulthood that is better for you? Have you noticed any changes in your life in the years since becoming a legal adult and/or finishing school? Is there anything you wish was different about your life?

What about the negatives? What do you say could be different? How big of a change would it be? Since we can't go back in time, how can you work towards these changes from here on out? Do you think you could ever get there?

What advice do you have for those who are just becoming legal adult or are about to graduate from high school/university?

For those who feel they are more on the successful side of adulthood, do you have any advice for those who are struggling in their 20s and 30s? What is it that you've done to bring you where you are today?

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This is a loaded question. I think my life is a lot better and more stable than my teens and my twenties. I am out as bisexual. I haven't come out to one set of family but I also don't hide it. I am married to a great guy who loves me for me. He supports me. He believes in my when I cannot believe in myself. I work my dream job and am currently going to school to get my BSW so that I can move forward, get my MSW, and become a therapist or medical social worker. I still struggle with my mental illness. I have relapses with self harm periodically. I almost made it 5 years. COVID didn't help. I had the epiphany that I will always have to deal with my mental health and there might always be relapses but it is about picking yourself up.

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What about the negatives? What do you say could be different? How big of a change would it be? Since we can't go back in time, how can you work towards these changes from here on out? Do you think you could ever get there?

There is a lot that could be different about my life but if it had been different I am not sure I would have met my husband...and I wouldn't give him up for anything. Everything I went through shaped me into who I am. Life could have been a lot different and it might not have been so bad for so long....but life has gotten good and I am okay with where I am at. I wish the trauma hadn't happened but...if it hadn't I don't know where I would be.

[quote] What advice do you have for those who are just becoming legal adult or are about to graduate from high school/university?[quote]

Be gentle with yourself. You might decide to take a break from college. You might graduate and struggle a bit to find a job...be patient, kind and gentle. It is exceptionally hard to do, I know. I spent so much time worrying about where life would take me that I didn't get to enjoy it. Take time to enjoy the good things so you don't look back and think what if.

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For those who feel they are more on the successful side of adulthood, do you have any advice for those who are struggling in their 20s and 30s? What is it that you've done to bring you where you are today?

I suppose, in the grand scheme of things, I am successful. There is still a lot I need to work on and learn but I think one piece of advice is to not compare or judge yourself based on others. I think it is important to work at the pace you are comfortable with. It took a lot of hard word and failures to get to where I am at. I hurt and struggled a lot. I thought I wouldn't see a better time. The patience and healing I allowed myself helped a ton.

So, what is it about adulthood that is better for you? Have you noticed any changes in your life in the years since becoming a legal adult and/or finishing school? Is there anything you wish was different about your life?

Adulthood is definitely MUCH better because I don't have to go to secondary school anymore. I did enjoy certain parts of school but I think on the whole it made me feel very unhappy in my skin and I've become more accepting of myself since growing up. I've also been able to narrow down the people around me and now my group of friends is smaller, but much better and I feel supported by them which is better for me. I do wish I was in a better place job-wise. Naive teenage me always thought she'd have it all figured out by 25, but I basically feel like a small child still fumbling around adulthood :bleh:

What about the negatives? What do you say could be different? How big of a change would it be? Since we can't go back in time, how can you work towards these changes from here on out? Do you think you could ever get there?

Independence is kind of a negative I suppose because I'm basically free to make all my own choices, and I don't like that responsibility because the effects they have last longer. For example, I wish I'd studied something which would have given me a way into a job, so I'd be in a career I enjoyed by now rather than one I don't like.

What advice do you have for those who are just becoming legal adult or are about to graduate from high school/university?

My advice would be: if your plans change that's okay. Honestly none of the plans I had for adulthood have stayed the same as they were when I was younger.

For those who feel they are more on the successful side of adulthood, do you have any advice for those who are struggling in their 20s and 30s? What is it that you've done to bring you where you are today?

I don't feel like this bit relates to me. :bleh:

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Not having to go to high school and juggle a job. I could only work 3 days a week, but still. It sucked having to work and then juggling school.

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Health issues are a negative. They didn't happen till 2013 and then creeped into 2019, 2020, and 2021. Yeah, I can get better losing weight and controlling my type 2 diabetes. I am on insulin and admit the past 6 months or better I neglected that. Stuff is going on IRL, and just..yeah.

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What advice do you have for those who are just becoming legal adult or are about to graduate from high school/university?

Please take care of yourself. Do go to the doctor if you're having issues with ANYTHING! Adulthood is when I totally learned I needed to take better care of myself. I still am not the best at eating habits and having an active lifestyle. So any new legal adults or young adults reading this... Do take care of yourself both physically and mentally.

I also would like to say do save money each check when you get a job even if $20 or so. I'd open a savings account and put it there even.