TeenHelp - Lonely

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Spiderbaby

January 31st 2012 10:35 PM

Lonely

I am extremely lonely. I would like a boyfriend but guys never seem to approach me or hit on me. This makes my low self esteem even worse. I'm sick of being single. Any advice on how to get guys to approach me? Or should I approach them?

Acheron

January 31st 2012 10:53 PM

Re: Lonely

If you aren't getting approached enough, take some initiative and do some approaching. Most guys are hardly ever approached by a girl, so they'll almost certainly react positively. Although it'll also knock them off balance, so be prepared to be patient with them.

Spiderbaby

February 1st 2012 12:50 AM

Re: Lonely

I would also like to know what kinda things prevent guys from approaching a girl. Like body language, how she looks, etc...

Chris

February 1st 2012 01:06 AM

Re: Lonely

I agree. You cant always wait for guys to approach you. Yes, its traditional that they are the ones to act first, but thats be honest here - we aren't living in those kinds of times anymore. We ALL have to act on things - especially on relationships and making them.

In my personal opinion; Guys wont approach girls for many different reasons.

-They may not be physically attractive.
-They may be hanging around other males
-They may be acting stuck up
-They may be excluding themselves at a party; sitting in a corner.
-They may seem to lack confidence. Yes, alot of guys are attracted to confidence aswell.
-They may not be socially active, but yet just sitting down.
-They may simply just not be that persons type.
-They may not like someones appearance, or they way they present themselves.

Remember, guys (and girls) for the most part, unfortunately judge by appearance (especially in teen and young-adult years). So those people who may have a great personality, but maybe just don't have a good appearance, may be waiting awhile longer for a partner.

Also remember, first impressions usually have a huge impact on choices males and females make (like introducing themselves); so its best to always be on your top game.

Best wishes,
Chris

Acheron

February 1st 2012 01:09 AM

Re: Lonely

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spiderbaby (Post 806779)

I would also like to know what kinda things prevent guys from approaching a girl. Like body language, how she looks, etc...

Yeah, those are both factors. Not many guys will approach an ugly girl, but the fact that you aren't being approached doesn't mean that you're ugly. It's also possible to look unwelcoming: if you're taking defensive postures, not smiling enough, that sort of thing. It's also possible that you're hanging out in the wrong places. Approaching cute, single people is more expected in some places than in others, and some people are more likely to approach than others. If you're spending your Friday nights playing Dungeons and Dragons with the Forever Alone types, you're less likely to be approached than if you're out at a party.

Spiderbaby

February 1st 2012 01:46 AM

Re: Lonely

But I noticed that when I do approach a guy, he starts talking all awkwardly

Chris

February 1st 2012 01:53 AM

Re: Lonely

Because hes nervous/unsure of the situation. Remember, he's just as human as you are - and when a guy first meets a girl, and get approached by one, it at times is alittle nerve recking and awkward. The only thing that can improve this is time, and him getting to know you better. Don't think that there is anything wrong if he is getting nervous or is talking 'awkwardly'. As far as I am concerned, its normal.

James_mc

February 1st 2012 05:34 AM

Re: Lonely

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spiderbaby (Post 806652)

im the same but with girls i just cant talk to them

heys.wendy

February 1st 2012 06:05 AM

Re: Lonely

yeah,i agree

Spiderbaby

February 1st 2012 07:34 PM

Maybe my body language is turning them off. I usually sit with my arms crossed and I don't smile a lot. A lot of people think that I'm angry all the time even though I'm not. Its really frustrating. But i guess maybe looking for friendly will help change things.

Quote:

Originally Posted by James_mc (Post 806938)

im the same but with girls i just cant talk to them

why not? do u get too nervous?

leavemealone

February 1st 2012 08:34 PM

Re: Lonely

The best thing for you to do actually is just be yourself around everybody and to not try and find a boyfriend. Let him find you :D That's when a guy will notice you. When you aren't trying to be someone your not, when your just having fun, and enjoying life :)

Skeleton

February 1st 2012 08:51 PM

Re: Lonely

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spiderbaby (Post 807209)

Sitting without a smile on your face and your arms crossed is definitely going to put guys off approaching you. I wouldn't cross your arms, do something that makes you seem more relaxed and approachable, buy yourself a drink so you could be holding that or something that comes across as more relaxed the defensive and remember to smile or at least try and look happy rather then not smiling and possibly look miserable. If you look happy or you have a smile, people are going to approach you more because you're giving off a nice positive vibe rather than if you sat with a frown on your face.

As said, you can also approach guys. Some of them are bound to seem awkward to start with, I'm sure if a guy approached you, you'd feel a bit awkward to start with but if you keep the conversation flowing, it'll become less awkward and a bit more relaxed.

Mercyfall

February 3rd 2012 11:08 PM

Re: Lonely

I think if you're willing to change some things that may seem to be turning guys off, then you should do it, but don't change too many things. Things like personality and posture are good to change, not just to get guys, but to maybe make yourself feel better.

I have a lot of confidence issues, but I'm working through them. One thing I'm trying to do is to laugh a bit more and try to get my opinion or even a joke across, not worrying about what others will think. It's very hard, considering that the people I hang out with make fun that I stumble over my words and mess things up a lot.

Though, because I've started to act like this, girls start a conversation with me sometimes and it usually goes pretty well. I've slowly been seeing improvement. The only huge problem I have now is talking to a girl that I like. I can barely even get a sentence out.

I wish you very good luck and try to take things slow. You'll most definitely see some improvement, as I have.

dantheman1992

February 5th 2012 02:33 PM

Re: Lonely

Just be yourself! someone will come along one day! I Hope for yours and my sake lol.

If your not liked for being yourself there not good enough, its all about personality not looks!

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