Lonely

[OtherSideOfZeRainbow]

Well, I've talked about her twice now. It's always been about her. Now it's about me.

When we talk she always seems bored. Like she doesn't want to talk to me. When she talks to the people she tends to forget that we're talking and I always have to remind her that I'm there. I wouldn't mind this if she hadn't forgotten about me so much. I have to wait 10-20 minutes for a reply to a yes or no question. This happens at least 4 times a week.

I don't want to lose her, because I know she does love me and I love her but this is getting annoying. I get paranoid a lot about things like this. I start thinking that maybe she doesn't want to talk to me. When she tells me she has to clean she stops talking to me but she continues to talk with her other friends. I know this because I'll be playing games and I'll see her reply to them, but not to me. Whenever I DO remind her that she's forgotten me, she always apologizes to me, like A LOT, and then it goes back to normal. We don't get to talk much and when she forgets about me I get lonely.

I mean, I have other friends I can talk to, but she's my best friend and it hurts me when she forgets about me. I have hobbies that I do almost everyday but when I'm at home at night, bored, with nothing to do but talk to her, I can't seem to shake it. I even get a little jealous of these other people she talks to because she keeps forgetting me because she's talking to them.

Is there something that could keep me from being paranoid and lonely? I talked to her about it and nothing has changed. She just tells me that she feels bad about it and that's it. Most of the time I don't want to talk to her about it because I don't want to make her feel guilty or feel bad.

[EDIT]
Well, part of it is because I'm shy and I don't like talking to new people. I guess I need another person I can start opening up to but I'm so shy that I can't make friends.

[PSY]

Shy people CAN make friends. Don't say you can't do something just because it's going to take a lot of effort on your part. I'm sorry, I hope that doesn't sound harsh... but it's true. I'm a shy person, and I've struggled with this problem on multiple occasions: moving to a new elementary school, a new high school, undergraduate college, and now graduate college. Each time, I have to deal with the same painfully awkward introductions... but instead of saying, "I can't do this," I think, "This is hard, but I'm going to bite the bullet and do it, because I want to have friends." What's awesome is that it WORKS! Sure, some people aren't interested in getting to know me - but there are always people who have similar interests to mine, who have complimentary personalities to mine, or who are just as lonely as I am.

I really do think the best advice I can give you is to meet new people. Get to a point where you're not relying so heavily on this one friend. Keep looking for hobbies/clubs to join as well. Not only will it help you take up free time, but you'll be able to meet potential friends at those meetings/events. =)