I know I'm young, but I'm still lonely

[Saligia]

I'm only a jr high student, so i'm well aware that i'm very young and that i have an entire life ahead of me, and many, many people out there that i've yet to meet, but i would still really like to be in a relationship. I suppose it's fair to say I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic--just a bit ;p--but it's not like i'm looking for some random guy (i'm a girl, yes) whose hot or something. I find myself truly yearning for a relationship where the other party is there to notice the tiny things that may be bothering me; like the type who makes me feel included if i'm with people i don't know, but he does. Know what i mean? I think it would be fair to say that i might be confusing what I want with a having a good friend, but i think i want something more intimate. I've never really felt as if i've had a relationship with anyone (meaning friends, family, and so on) where i can completely let go and relax--i'm the type that horribly fears being judged and am I kind of have minor trust issues :T.

So yes, once again, I know I'm young and that any turbulent feelings I have may very well be because of hormones and puberty and all that... But either way, I'd like to see what people think of this.

Also, there is one guy that i really feel i like. We've been going to the same church for at least maybe 6-7 years now, although we didn't really start talking up until 3-4 months ago. :P He's actually going to be a highschool senior, so you can see that age gap going on. Plus, he'll be off to college soon anyways. But I still really think I like him. I'm not even sure myself, but I'm always looking forward to seeing him. (once a week) I don't know if he pays extra attention to me, and I'm a bit cautious in thinking so because of our age gap. (It's 4 years, which wouldn't be that much for adults, but when it's between teens, it seems pretty darn big.) He teases me a lot, but it's all playful and stuff. Our cell phones look pretty similar, except mine's fancier, and he often times jokes about he'll steal my phone secretly and stuff. I really think that, compared to the other girls who are at church, he treats me differently. But, I'd prefer to call my self a realist, and I just can't see anything like a confession going on. Plus, one of the BIG things in this is that he probably has a gf...so...yeah. I realize that I'm probably too young, he's most likely already dating, and he'll be off to college soon; but I still like him. I also get that I might just like him because he's older, but I'd hope not...because it's not like he's the only male highschool senior i know. Personally, i think i've already given up on any possible relationship (romantically) that could happen, and I'm planning on just letting time do the trick and move on...so, i guess i'm just ranting about this. I'm sorry. But, like I said, I really just want to know what you guys think about me feeling/thinking this way. >-<

Haha, I over-think things a lot, and sorry for writing a bit much and for any wandering thoughts. xP

[blumemusik♫]

I don't know how old you are, because I haven't the slightest idiea what junior high is, but the fact that you've recognised that you're still young is a good thing. You do have plenty of time to find The One, and you don't have to meet them while you're a teenager. I know exactly what you mean though, about wanting a person to notice the small things, but the harsh reality (coming from a fellow hopeless romantic) is these guys are few and far between. Nobody's perfect, and finding somebody who's even close is going to be hard.

This guy from your church. You're right, 4 years is an incredibly huge age gap when you're teenagers. You might get on well, but unfortunately, I doubt he's looking for anything more than friendship with you. The only relationship I've ever been in lasted 4 days, and he dumped me because I was TWO years younger than him, so four years is going to be an obstacle.

But of course, if it turns out he IS interested, I advise you to be careful. How old is he? 16? 17? 18? He probably has sexual urges which you are probably too young to fulfill. I'm being stereotypical, yes, but it is quite unlikely that an 18-year-old will go out with a 14-year-old (guessing ages) because he wouldn't be able to have sex.

I would advise you to look around guys your own age. Is there nobody in school you get on with well? Relationships with guys your own age will be more likely to be at a pace you can deal with.

Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck.

Stay safe!<3

[justfallinginlove]

Im glad you've recognized that your young, but that doesn't mean you can't want to be in love! I always say, age is just a number, maturity is the real question. I completely understand where your coming from, craving somebody that will love you and hold you and make you feel like the most precious treasure in the world...

One of my best friends is dating a highschool senior. Hes in the 8th grade at 14 and shes in 12th at 17. So its really not a big deal as long as ur mature enough to handle it. I dated a freshman over the summer (more of a fling but whatever). And hey, you'll never know if he has a girlfriend if you don't ask! Maybe a little something like "So tell me about your girlfriend" is a safe way to open up the conversation, and drop a move if he's available! So basically what I'm saying is it is possible but rare. So if you wanna give it a shot, Id say do! But know that it would be a risk. Good luck love! <3

Also Kate, Junior High is another term for Middle School. It's usually 6th, 7th, and 8th grades.

[Saligia]

Originally Posted by blumemusik

But of course, if it turns out he IS interested, I advise you to be careful. How old is he? 16? 17? 18? He probably has sexual urges which you are probably too young to fulfill. I'm being stereotypical, yes, but it is quite unlikely that an 18-year-old will go out with a 14-year-old (guessing ages) because he wouldn't be able to have sex.

I would advise you to look around guys your own age. Is there nobody in school you get on with well? Relationships with guys your own age will be more likely to be at a pace you can deal with.

Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck.

Stay safe!<3

Indeed, he's 17. I've thought about that kind of situation, because I'm definitely not looking for anything sexual right now. Especially after reading this, I'm kind of leaning toward the thought of him just wanting to be friends. I'm not sure if I may even seem like a little-sister figure to him? I wonder if that would be possible?

The guys who are around my age are mostly guys I've known for at least 3 years. A lot of us are actually just close friends--like brothers. Some of them have admitted to liking me before, but that was like way back in elementary school, so, no biggie really. So basically, I've been around the same guys for quite a while now, and none of them really seem like the boyfriend type to me. I think that the best option for me would be to wait till highschool, when they're are hundreds of new people, but like I said, I'd really like a relationship now. ;p

thank you a lot for the advice, it helps greatly!

[Saligia]

justfallinginlove,

Yes! I'm glad you understand what I meant.
Our situation would be 8th grade dating 12th grade, (except the girl is the younger one, of course) and I'm guessing, maturity wise, it's probably not too bad. Since my church youth is mostly highschoolers, the middle school kids are basically always with the highschoolers, and I can say that they treat me and my fellow middle schoolers like highschoolers. I could pretty easily pass off as a freshman, maybe sophomore, both appearance and maturity-wise. (People have told me so, is why c But either way, yes, I'm aware that it's a risk. :I

About him having a girlfriend, his facebook status is "in a relationship," so I'm awfully sure about that, which is another reason why I suppose we're just friends. Conversation about his girlfriend has come up a couple times--we weren't alone together though, it was with our church group--and he never said who she was or anything like that. In fact he kind of just dismissed the topic, so, I'm not sure what to think of that. I guess he just prefers to keep those things personal?

Thanks very much~ ^-^ I'll just have to see how things pan out.