lonely

[turtle8493]

I have no idea what to do. I had a relationship while ago and it went down the drain and overall ruined my life for 2 years. NOw i feel really lonely I feel like i need a relationship again. I don't want to date anyone from my school cause if it ends badly it will suck. I have no idea how to meet people. How to tell if there a good person (sex is important to me but not most important). How to not be so lonely.

[PSY]

Hey there! I'm sorry you're feeling this way. =( I remember how lonely I felt when I was in-between relationships.

The thing is... you shouldn't feel as if you NEED a relationship in order to be happy. Sure, having a boyfriend/girlfriend would make you HAPPIER, but it shouldn't be the sole factor for determining whether or not you're HAPPY. Oftentimes, people don't need to have someone love them... they need to be able to love themselves. Having people in your life is great and all... but people come and go. The one constant thing in your life, the one person who will always be present, is yourself. =)

I'm not going to give you a long speech about loving yourself, because there's only so much I can say to boost your self-esteem. The bottom-line is that you have to find ways to relieve these feelings of loneliness. You have to do things that make you happy, versus finding people who can do things that will make you happy. By joining clubs, taking up new hobbies, or even just spending time alone to reflect on your life, you'll slowly gain a greater love for yourself... and as you expand your horizons, you'll begin to discover people who can be good friends (and possibly even good lovers). They may be within or outside of your school, within or outside of your community... but rest assured that they ARE out there.

[anony mouse.]

I understand what you mean about not being happy without a boyfriend or girlfriend. Sometimes I feel that way too--I can't imagine myself without my boyfriend. However, you should stop thinking about it. That sounds kinda harsh, but I only ever seem to find love when I'm not searching for it. It just happens. When you go out with the intention of finding a boyfriend, chances are it won't happen for you: simply because you tend to bypass the really great guys in favor of the ones you think you want. The best course of action, I think, is just to let things happen naturally.