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Loneliness If you're feeling lonely, isolated or down and need support and encouragement, this is a forum for you.
I guess I haven't really had many friends over my life and the ones I had I drifted away from.
I was depressed for so long and I wouldn't say I'm completely over it or anything but I started school again a few months ago (I'd dropped out for about a year) and things started to feel so much better. There were options, I didn't feel hopeless anymore.
So everything in my life feels new and exciting, except that I'm still alone.
I guess I made some friends (well really a friend and her other friends who I talk too occasionally) at this new school but I really have nothing in common with her or them. I'm quite shy and I feel completely at a loss when having a conversation with them.
I'm not trying to say I'm more mature by any stretch, in fact I wish I was able to have fun and care about the things they care about. But I don't. I hate Lady Gaga. I don't want to talk about guys every 24/7. I don't care about parties or getting drunk.
This is an actual conversation I had the other day:
Girl at school: I hate Chinese people.
Me: Uh, what?!
Girl at school: Haha, I'm really racial.
Me: You mean racist??
Girl at school: Yeah, that thing.
Christ. I'm not saying I'm better than them or anything. We just have different interests. And it's the first friend i've made since probably grade eight.
I have no one to talk too. I spend my weekends alone in my room. I don't have friends and everyone I talk to seems like the complete opposite of me.
How do I get past this??
To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget
Re: Sick of being lonely. -
August 2nd 2010, 05:36 AM
I can relate. My best friend since 3rd grade and I have grown sooo far apart. I sit with her at lunch with her ex-boyfriends (don't ask), and it's really awkward. I have nothing in common with them. They talk about going to the football game. I sit there looking stupid. Ughh. Best advice, find someone new to talk with. I'll do the same. Unless you really feel that you want to get along with the people you currently hang out with.
Re: Sick of being lonely. -
August 2nd 2010, 01:43 PM
Hey I just want to clarify I don't say 'Have nothing' I meant anything! Gosh, that's bad! Sometimes I just skip over things lol (also, 'talk to') Anyway TRASH YOU'RE BANNED D;
Thanks to the both of you
To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget
Re: Sick of being lonely. -
August 2nd 2010, 03:41 PM
It's quite hard getting over being shy. Sometimes you just have to walk up to someone and say hi! Get to know them a little better. I know walking up to someone and talking when you don't even know their name is much, much easier said than done (speaking from personal experience, of course.) Who knows, maybe you'll even make a best friend?
..that's how I actually got my boyfriend. I just walked up to him and started talking! You just have to muster up the courage, take a deep breath, count to ten and go for it!
I've been through hell and back and came out stronger than ever.
Re: Sick of being lonely. -
August 2nd 2010, 03:53 PM
I definitely know how you feel. It's always been really hard for me to find friends that I have things in common with. This past school year I started high school, and while I was going to school I made friends with a couple girls there, but I slowly realized I had absolutely nothing in common with the people I was hanging out with. All they talked about was guys (the funny thing was that they liked a new guy almost every week) smoking, drinking, sex, etc. I felt totally out of place.
I even have a hard time relating to the friends that I have now sometimes, and even though I have them I'm still lonely a lot of times. But they are probably the best friends I've had, regardless. The funny thing is that the year I made these friends is when I wasn't afraid to talk to other people, to be the first to approach someone and just start a conversation.
So I guess that's my advice for you. xD Don't be afraid to reach out to people. Pay attention to the people around you, get to know them. Eventually you are going to find someone who you feel that you can relate to. So much time I wasted standing there saying "I'll never find anyone I can relate to," when it really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
Re: Sick of being lonely. -
August 2nd 2010, 06:54 PM
I feel like this too when I'm around my friends. I was depressed and lonely all throughout the year and I guess I pushed my friends away and now I don't really know how to talk to them anymore. It's like I've run out of things to say to them. It's a hard situation to be in. And like you, I'm quiet, so making friends isn't really easy for me. It's even harder in high school because not everybody's maturity level is up there quite yet. So my best advice is to try not to care what other people will think about you. Push all of those negative thoughts out of your head and just say to yourself, "what the heck" and reach out to someone. Life is short. Live it the way you want to live it.
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