still so lonely
 

what is it i do that's so wrong? i try to be friendly & help people whenever i can. no one appreciates me. everything just gets thrown back in my face like 'HAH FUCK YOU'. why :( i hate being alone. people say things will get better soon.. but when? it hasn't gotten better for me in the past 5 years.. how far am i from rock bottom? at least when i'm there, there's nothing but gain. i don't know how much longer i can handle this though. i don't have any real life friends that i can count on either. i hate this. i want out :(