TeenHelp - Lonely :/

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- Loneliness (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f540-loneliness/)

- - Lonely :/ (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f540-loneliness/t40121-lonely/)

I don't really know what advice I want I just want to get this out somewhere. I find it hard to make friends in real life, I think it's due to low confidence and self-esteem. I find it hard to go up to new people and just talk. About three years ago I had loads of friends (so, I obviously can make friends) but with loads of those guys moving and going off to uni I no longer see them :( My current best friend and I are slowly drifting apart and it kills me inside. He isn't the same person anymore :/ then again I'm not either. I'm holding on to the past and keep hoping the "old him" will come back, obviously that's not going to happen. I used to have a massive crush on him but he was going out with a good friend of mine. When him and her split up deep down I wanted us to get together, that has never happened and never will happen. I no longer like him in that way at all. He has new friends now too. We still see eachother a lot but we're a lot more distant than we were.

I just kind of want a person to be close to again :( I have nobody I can truely talk to about my problems irl, this site is the only place I can really ask for help :/ I have my sister (who I'm quite close to) but I kind of want a person outside my family I can call a good friend :( eh.

I do know exactly how you feel, though perhaps from a different perspective. When I moved away to uni, I more or less lost all of my friends (disinterest, drug addiction, stuff like that..), and I'm kinda in that same trough right now.

Thing is, the sad fact is that people do drift away from each other, but with improved communications in our generation (mobile phones, the internet), we'll feel this a lot harder than our parents did..

Thing is there's two routes you can take. You could try reconnecting with your old friends, finding common threads of interest again, but often this can be difficult, since as you said, people do change and stuff. For this, facebook is good to hunt them down again, since you'd know their full names and their school, with which you can pretty much find anyone who wants to be found by anyone.

Then there's the second route, which is to make new friends. There's social or sports clubs, or hobby clubs that can be a way to meet people. If you don't go to any of those, there's always pubs or bars. I havn't mentioned nightclubs, since often its hard to actually talk to people there, and depending on your city, they can be complete sleaze pits. I mean, there's general 'old man' pubs, though sometimes you might just end up feeling like a baby there, try establishments targetting younger audiences. I know you're into emotive punk stuff, so maybe try an alternative bar? Often people (this is from personal experience) are friendlier there, and people will generally be closer to your age.
Also, the presence of alcohol might help your confidence a bit as well, in order to talk to people, though make sure you don't let it become a crutch, if you get what I mean? It's not a good thing, but it doesn't hurt.
Also, you mentioned you're a smoker somewhere on the forums, ever since the new laws, the area where you stand outside to smoke can be a social hotspot too.

Good luck with stuff anyway. I hope things do improve for you.

I'm added to a few of my old friends on Facebook and talk to them sometimes but it just feels.. different now :/ Almost like them talking to me is a chore. My closest friends from the past have moved countries :(

Yeah, nightclubs here are stupidly rough ¬____¬ The only alternative bar that was around here is now closed :( My friend's aunt used to own it and shut down as she wasn't making enough money. The closest is probably Cardiff :/ which is still a while away.

I don't like drinking alcohol very much. It does make me more confident but not being in control of my actions as well scares me. I'm also not really meant to drink it on my medication either.

I'm thinking of joining a drama class soon though :) so that may be helpful. Thanks anyway <3