Feeling really lonely... but why?

[Little Joanna]

I have a fantastic group of friends who I hang out with a LOT of the time. Four of them own a house together, so the rest of us tend to go up there and hang out as much as possible, we're like a big silly family.

Anyway, I really do spend a huge amount of time with them all. This week, I spent about four days in a row at their house. However, the *moment* I came home I felt totally empty. I felt like I needed to call one of them or go back round there as soon as possible. I'm sure they'd welcome me back but I don't wanna annoy them, and also... why do I feel so bad so quickly?

It's not even as if I just miss them, I honestly feel totally and utterly empty. It makes me feel guilty because I haven't spent a lot of time with my parents or younger sister, and when I am home I just get snappy with them. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because I want to be there so much.

I don't want to feel like this because I can't be there all the time, it is the place I'm happiest but I really want to distance myself slightly and not feel so dependant on them. It must be incredibly annoying for them too... I guess these people are the first genuine group of friends I've ever had, so I'm getting kinda clingy.

I just wanna get rid of this awful empty feeling, it really does feel like it's hurting in my chest.. I feel so pathetic :/

[SimplyComplex]

Hey,

I remember welcoming you . I'm glad you're posting threads too. I hope you can receive some quality advice.

Anyway, I do think sometimes it can be unhealthy - needing people too much. We all need someone, but sometimes we get so wrapped up in needing them that we forget to rely on ourselves too. It's important to learn to do things on your own, as much as it is with someone else. Sometimes, there are just some things only you can do alone.

I can't say for sure, why you're feeling like this. But maybe it's because you have so little of a connection with the people you're living with? So when you do come home, it isn't enjoyable. And all you want to do is be with the people you do have a connection with. It's good to have some type of a relationship with the people you live with, because that's where you need to feel most comfortable. Maybe you all should attempt to bond and make a night once a week you can all be together. It might help with making being home a little easier.

Then again, this feeling might be because all of this is so new to you. It's normal for people to get excited over new and wonderful things. Like kids with new toys, relationships can be the same. And it's okay to have a high standing for these friends. So, for now, try and add some independence to your life too. Maybe take up a hobby for yourself or something that keeps you busy sometime through out the week. This will keep you independent and you'll be out of the house a little more. If you don't have one already, a job works good for this.

Also, remember that you do mean something to them. If you didn't, they wouldn't LET you spend so much time with them. Try to let loose and be a little easier on yourself. Because you do have something to offer that these people enjoy and like having around. No one has to hang out with the people they do, but they're hanging out with you willingly and remember that. Remember that no one has to include people they don't like. They obviously like you because you're a big part of their life. As big as they are to you. :] If you need anything, send me a PM. Take care.

Have hope,
-Melissa

[TheWhiteTornado]

I know exactly how you feel. And that's not in the cliche sense either. Recently I had felt horrible whenever I wasn't around friends. Just relax and try to become more focused on the present. I'm not sure if it's the same with you, but I was feeling horrible because I always thought "What if I never have as good of a time as I have just now?" and I only felt good around friends. Just make sure when you're around your friends that you know that there will be much, much more time in your life to be with friends and family, and remember how incredible your time is when you're around them.
I hope I helped

[Little Joanna]

Thanks for the replies guys =)

I guess this situation is a little strange to me, as I've never really had a genuine group of friends I can trust. I agree ith you Melissa, I think a new hobby is a great idea =) and I'm currently job hunting so hopefully a lot of my spare time will be taken up too ^

I guess I am just paranoid about losing them. I'm already devastated because two of my friends are moving out of the house, so my routine is already gonna be messed up soon enough. I'm kinda scared of change, I suppose. =(

I just wish I wasn't so nasty to my parents. They're not exactly loving, comforting parents but it would be nice to have a laugh with them sometimes, and not feel so angry. Sometimes I get snappy at them for no reason, and it makes me feel so guilty afterwards. I guess that has a lot to do with the 'empty' feeling as well, because it makes me feel even worse :/ I guess I still haven't forgiven them for things that happened in the past

I just need to learn to accept change, I guess.