Triggering (Suicide): Alone

[Nikk]

I got grounded the other day and since things have been getting worse. I got my phone taken, I might have to transfer schools, I had to quit my job and I'm no longer allowed to babysit, my boyfriend is moving away, I found a diary entry from my mom saying she hates me, and my only friend I can talk to is growing more distant. I don't know what to do at this point. I turn 18 in a year and a half but I feel so alone. My parents don't even care that I'm suicidal. When I told my dad he said "If you kill yourself, I'd feel bad for you cause I know you'd be burning in hell." and when I told my mom she just shrugged it off and said, "me too." I know I can always make new friends but I won't be able to contact them at home. I have a school laptop that I use and it blocks a LOT of sites.
What do I do?

[Everglow.]

Hi Nikk,

Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now so it's natural that you're feeling alone and unhappy because of this. I'm so sorry that your mum wrote that. Nobody should have to feel or know that their parents hate them and it's completely understandable that this has hurt you. It's also completely unacceptable for your dad to have said what he did about you killing yourself, and I'm so sorry that the response you got when you reached out to your parents was like this.

I know you have said you may have to transfer schools, and I don't know what the situation about this is, but while you're at your current school do you have a trusted teacher or staff member you can speak to? I think with what's happening at home, finding a support network outside of your family would be a good idea. If your school has a counsellor or a team who support students emotionally, I would recommend speaking to them. They can be really useful and it's good to know that you have people looking out for you that way. Also, if you have family outside of your mum and dad who you can turn to, doing this might be good too. They could perhaps have words with your parents and tell them how you're feeling so that you don't have to fight them on your own.

I don't have any extra advice right now, but please know that I hear you and if you need to talk you can always message me and I'll be happy to listen. I hope your situation gets better soon.