TeenHelp - Isolation

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- Loneliness (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f540-loneliness/)

- - Isolation (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f540-loneliness/t161823-isolation/)

This isn't 100% loneliness, but how do you guys stop yourself from isolating and therefore being at risk of loneliness?
I hang out with a few friends, but it seems like I am over and done with it soon after we start hanging out and either want them to go home/me to go home. If they or I sleep over it's even worse. I get sad and burned out really fast and that's always in the background, even if I am having fun. I just want to stop and be alone.
Even with chatting, there's only a select group of people I'd want to chat with daily.
Does anyone else experience this and what do you do about it? It can't be normal, right? :nosweat:

I relate so much to what you've said here. I think for some people (myself included) it's a matter of having a low social threshold. I get burnt out really easily if I'm around too many people. I have 2 people who don't make me feel sad and burnt out, but just about everyone else drains me.
For me, I'm always really honest about it, but I do have a tendency to make it a bit of a joke so that it doesn't come across as if I don't want to see people. I usually tell people up front that I like being home at a reasonable time to chill out with a cup of tea and that too much "peopling" drives me mad.

Honestly, I don't think it's abnormal. I think it's just about knowing your limits and boundaries and figuring out how to know when you're getting to a point where you feel like you'd rather leave. Perhaps you can arrange meet ups in a place you feel comfortable, which is within mutual travel distance (e.g. not at your house and not at their house, to avoid it going on too long), and let them know you're free for X amount of time and then you'll have to dash off? Also, don't feel like you have to have them stay over or you have to stay over. I used to feel exactly the same way when I stayed at friends houses. I'd never sleep, I'd overthink, and I'd end up feeling really unhappy, so I started saying I'd rather see people during the day and then go home at the end as it was more comfortable for me. Most people get it to an extent, and I am sure the people you hang out with would too.

This is just my opinion here, but it may not necessarily be anything to do with isolating or loneliness at all. While we all make friends at some point, the level of that friendship varies. As much as we enjoy their company and spending time with them, our social battery depending on which friend you're spending time with can vary.

For example, I had a friend in university that I enjoyed spending time with and we had good fun. However, after around an hour or so I just wanted to be away from her and have my own space. Or another friend I'd hang out with, he and I would watch a film together and spend time chatting, but after a while the time we spent together was sort of dying out and I started to want to be alone. Whereas a 3rd friend I had, I enjoyed spending time with her so much that even when we were silent, I was still enjoying her company and doing whatever.

Sometimes we just gel better with some friends than we do with others. There's sometimes a 'thing' about them where we like spending time with them, but their personality doesn't entirely match our own and we slowly start to feel drained and needing our own space.

A very close friend of mine, he has a friend who he feels similar about. He likes spending time with her and enjoys her company but after a while he just wants her to go away.

While it may sound harsh, some people's personalities just make us need to take a breather, even if we do like spending time with them.

I think what you described is perfectly normal. :)

I think it's with most people that I feel that way with, LOL. It's so weird, I can love them to death but it's like nope, please go away!

I don't drive yet (ooops) so I'm always stuck there until they take me home too :nosweat:

Oh my goodness, I am like this as well. I thought I was the only one! There are certain times when I just want to get home and relax but then feel guilty because I should be out there enjoying myself instead of being at home and there have been times when I have stayed out longer than planned and I did end up enjoying myself. It is a hard one to deal with but I guess it comes down to who we hang around. :D

Hello Dez,

I am so sorry that you are feeling like this and hope that you will be okay soon. Sometimes it can be hard hanging out with friends and family because we are happy, but sometimes we just don't want to be with all of them and be alone. Nothing is wrong with you and it is totally fine to hang out with them and then when we want to be by ourselves. I hope that you will be okay soon and I sending you :hug: to help you.