Getting rid of bad friends and then being lonely..oh well

[mimoosu]

Ever since I was small I used to have group of people always around me. As we grew older my friendship with this group got quite unhealthy as they used to always pick on me and leave me out, but I had nobody else to be with so I stayed. They for example shared ugly pictures had they took of me secretly, had them in their folders and once even locked me to the basement in the winter when I had to go home. It was quite bad, but I did nothing.

2 years ago, after years and years, I finally separated myself from them and I've been with 2 my most loyal friends ever since, but now I feel very lonely all the time. These loyal friends have gathered new friend groups of their own, who I don't really click with. It's summer break from school right now and I'm doing absolutely nothing but sitting home all day. I do have friends, who I'm with in school, but we don't communicate or ever get together outside of the school. I guess I should write to them and try my luck even if it's awkward? How do you even get new friends as a teen suddenly out of nowhere, I'm so bad at this... I don't really want to use apps or something like that.

Please help a girl out. Thank you!

Hey there, I'm glad you felt comfortable reaching out to us. I know what you mean having to deal with fake, two-faced, backstabbing people that you thought were your friends; but they turned out to be the complete opposite. I think we all have had that experience throughout our childhood and adolescent years.

I grew up in a time when the Internet was still relatively young, but only became more social (on the Internet) when I was about twenty. This was fourteen years ago, back when the face of the World Wide Web (which sounds bizarre to say in 2019, but not so much in the 1990s) where social media was limited to Myspace, Friendster, Hi5 and all that; but even those platforms, you were only linked to schoolmates and people from your neighborhood. In order to meet people outside of your (real life) world, you had to join forums such as TeenHelp, where you get to meet and befriend strangers from all around the world.

Not to ramble much longer, but it is rough making online friends today as opposed to back in 2005; social media makes it tough. If you message someone random on Facebook, you're a stalker. If you message someone on Instagram or Twitter, you're salty. It doesn't help that social media (especially Twitter) show the ugly side of people, so the 'friends' and fellow 'stans' you meet turn out to be ten times worse than those fake friends you have in real life.

I suggest joining forums if any such still exist. I saw your SG-1 thread, so perhaps try finding a sci-fi forum? I do know there is another forum, but since they use the same coding and platform server as TeenHelp, I can't give the name of it. I met one of my very good friends—and the only online friend I still keep in touch with from before my TeenHelp days—on a writing website.

But in real life, it is tough to make friends; but it's certainly not impossible! Join a club, I'm sure there's some over the summer. Or volunteer at a camp for kids, there's probably other individuals around your age doing the same thing. They're probably in huge demand now that it's the summer season. I met my closest friend at work, it's going to be weird going up to someone you barely know; but who knows... it might be the best move you ever make.

Best of luck! Wish I watched SG-1, I am old enough to have been alive when that was on.