Triggering: Lonely. Just need to talk

[Azure.]

I really have no one to talk to anymore.. My friends don't understand, not that I have that many. The only person that knows my story stopped talking to me for months when we used to talk every day. I've had a therapist since I was 5, but he isn't someone that I feel comfortable talking to. I'm just alone and stressed and sad.

My dad is in jail. My mom is an alcoholic. My step-father does drugs, so do my mom and dad, but they aren't nearly as bad.

I have been abandoned, homeless, hopeless, alone, and lied to. I don't have much trust left. The custody battles are annoying. The hatred between my mom and grandparents is obvious. I don't know how I have lived this way for 15 years.

I started thinking too much after we were evicted (again) last year. My siblings and i drove away with my grandparents and haven't seen our parents since. Now that I'm in a better home, I've become depressed (I've finally admitted it to myself) and have tried self harm (I hadn't in more than a month, but I just relapsed today). I've always been socially awkward, quiet, and shy, so I often feel alone. I finally decided to get on this site and talk a bit. I hope it helps...

So that was my rant... Stay strong everyone

[Thereishope]

Hey there,

Sorry to hear about all you've been through. If you ever need anyone to talk too about anything feel free to message me anytime!

[Chris]

Hi Nal! First, I want to say: Welcome to TeenHelp!

It sounds like you are in a very dark, and unhealthy place. I can relate. I too, was depressed, locked myself away, was shy, was lower-class (no money), lost two houses, was mentally/emotional abused, and the list can go on and on. So I know how you are feeling. It's tough, especially being 15, when you don't have much of a choice or opinion on certain things.

At age 16, I left my home, and I moved into my aunts. It was tough to do, switching lifestyles, but I had to do it. I began to seek help from a counselor, I began to workout to shed off unwanted weight, I began to become a more faithful person, I began to boost up my confidence by not being the shy guy anymore, and thus I created a huge friend base. And now, two years later - I don't struggle with any of those things anymore. So, my point is, you too can change your life around. Sure, you may not be able to change everything, but change what you do have control over. Stop the self harming (I know, easier said than done), start forcing yourself to stop being shy, find a way to get rid of the bad emotions (working out, writing, drawing, etc), keep pushing forward, etc. These are just a small list of things you do have control over and can do.

I believe that with your dedication, motivation, and your heart into it - things can change things around for the better. But only if you are in it 110%.

Stay strong, my friend.


Best wishes,
Chris

[SouthernBelle.]

Nal, this is only temporary.

I know it seems like breaking free of it is so far away, but it isn't! I know how hard it is, because I struggled with depression, and I still do. A lot. But, I've also felt what it feels like to be 100% better. It's possible. Sometimes it seems as if everything is against you, but remember: Even in the middle of all of that, you are you. The strength which comes from inside you is enough to pull yourself out of this and become infinitely happier than you are now. Trust me: Nothing feels better than being happy. I can't wait until my situation changes and I can feel that way again, but right now, all I can do is wait for it to get better, and have hope for the future. You, too, can be happy.

You're not alone, either, I hope. If you are, try to make a friend. It's so hard that first time you speak to someone, but if you take the time to introduce yourself, you may make a wonderful friend to help you feel less alone in all of this. But if you can't, don't worry: Not all of us are cut out to have tons of friends (myself included). We get on just fine. The trick to being happy without friends is to find happiness within yourself: Find hobbies that you like to do alone, find books or movies with people to admire, and become the strongest individual you can become.

Sorry... That was really cheesy, wasn't it?

Anyway, I hope you get better, Nal.