I Guess I'm Just Lonely

[LostConfusion]

I don't know if this belongs in depression or friends and family...

I just realized how boring I am. I tried going on to YouTube and had no idea what to look up. I asked myself what am I interested in? I seriously feel like I have no social life. I feel like I don't have any interests in. I feel like I'm just a person. I don't get myself. I don't get who I am?

I rarely hang out with people. The only people I really talk to now is my family (6 people). I feel like I have no friends. I get so lonely. It's been like this for at least a year. This summer I really only have two things to look forward two...a vacation and schedule pickup for school. The vacation sounds lovely but after that I really have nothing.

It's been getting harder for me to talk to other people. I've isolated myself. Whenever I am put into a social situation...I just feel awkward. I've tried texting people but I never get a reply. I've stopped texting most people. I think I'm afraid of rejection and that's why I isolate myself.

I see people on Instagram hanging out with other people and I wish I were them. I want to see other people outside my house. I can if I ask but I don't. I don't know what to talk to others about. I don't know what to do with others. I've gotten more and more quiet.

I feel like I am barricaded by four walls-the house I live in. Sure I can go out if I want to but I don't.

It gets lonely.

If you know where this is from...you know who I am...

I miss the times when I wasn't so confined to my phone and television. All year I've been surrounded by technology. I've chosen technology over people. But now that I look back at what I've accomplished socially, I just pity myself. I pity the fool. I am the fool. I kept pushing people away and now I feel like people won't come back. The last time I hung out with someone outside of school (besides the social) was during spring break and before that, god knows when (not a religious connection). I had no birthday party because I didn't know who to invite. I didn't know who would actually talk to me. I'm not close to anyone. Whenever people ask who my best friend is, I have to respond with a "I don't have a best friend". I isolated myself because I feel incapable and uncomfortable to fully communicate and socialize with others. I feel like I have no close relationships anymore. Either I shun people away or they shun me away. I've put on this tough girl act and I don't know why. I think it covered my deep emotions. Even I didn't know how I truly felt. I bully people and say what's on my mind, because that's how I'm heard. I thought I was happy, but was it truly just a mask that concealed everything? When I think about it, I think about how lonely I am.

I don't feel like I have a use. I don't think I'm suicidal but I don't feel like I'm here.

Some days I think I'm happy. Some days I think I'm nothing. This I guess would be one of those days. I am tired living like this. I want to be social. I want to be happy. I want a real life.

[minniemouseprincess]

I’m sorry=( I feel like that a LOT too. I do have a best friend but besides her, I don’t reall have any close friends. For a while I thought I did but they turned out to not be what I thought they were. I’m very shy and extremely nervous so its hard for me to make friends with people. I really want to, but I don’t know how to start the convo or ask them to hang out with me because i’m afraid they will say no. I have been rejected MANY times. I’ve tried to get close to people MANY times and they just didn’t return that feeling and shut me out for other people. Its a really hurtful thing especially since those friendships I put a lot into and nothing came out of it. They just left. My best friend has been the only one that has stayed through everything and although I am VERY thankful for her and love her like no other, there’s still times when I feel lonely because ether she isn’t around at that moment or she doesn’t understand me about something. I really wish I had more close friends, but I don’t know if that will ever happen. Most of the time when I am not at school, i’m ether online or watching TV because there’s just nothing else TO do. But I kind of hate it and wish I could be out doing stuff. I do get out sometimes though and of course I see my best friend when I can, so i’m not totally confinded in my house. But I do know what you mean. I don’t know if this helped at all since I really give advice, not sure how to since im kinda in the same situation=( but I hope it makes you feel better to know you certainly aren’t alone. If you ever want to talk to someone or just want a new friend, i’m here=)

[eckky]

I am really sorry to hear about that and in in the same boat as you I have one or two friends that bairly ever talk to me I have been bullied all my like so I have bairly any confidence so I only go out if its in my back garden or to a gym I go two I feel really depresed all the time and have thought about ending my life as nobody dealt cares of me or about me I have done a tereble thing in my life that I will always regret but the secret is you have to keep finding somthing to fight for or life is just that ... Deppresing i don't know what age you are so I can't recomend muchbut try finding stuff to do even if its trying to get a part time job now I'm from Scotland and it fliping hard to get anything to do but you sound like you are from America and in sure there is more you can think of and I sure you aren't boating every one is interesting in there own ways

Hey there,

I am sorry you are dealing with these feelings but I believe it will get better. I think a big issue with you is that you are so isolated that it is causing your depression and feeling like you don't have a use intensify. I know going into social settings can be really hard but I think the best thing for you to do would be to try and force yourself to get out into social settings. It will be really hard to do at first but the more you do it the less difficult it will be. See, the more you do something that you do something the more your body gets comfortable with and it slowly becomes less uncomfortable. It can take a while for it to become more comfortable but it will happen.

I think it would be a really good idea for you to look into joining clubs at your school or getting involved in some volunteer opportunities around your community. Both of these activities will put you into social settings and help you work on finding more friends.

I know you said that you have texted people and not received replies and I am sorry to hear that. Do you think it is because you isolated yourself so much? If so would you consider sending them some type of message saying something like "Hey I know I have been absent lately but I was wondering if you would like to hang out?" It is possible that some of the reason they haven't messaged back is because they have gotten busy with life however if you message them one last time and they don't respond you should probably move on. But, it is possible to find new friends. Yes, it will be hard because of the fact that social setting make you uncomfortable but push yourself anyway because you deserve to have friends.

As for the summer, I think it is important that you try and keep yourself busy and try and get out of the house as much as possible. I know you might not have a lot of things to do but maybe you could try and come up with little activities you could do outside of the house. Do you have a park, coffee shop or library near you? If so maybe you could go and read for a bit at one of those places; I know that might sound boring but you will be getting out of your house and keeping yourself busy. You could also try going to movies every once in a while. I know those might not be the greatest activities to partake in and doing them alone might not be the most fun thing to do but keeping yourself isolated in the house all summer isn't good. Try thinking of activities you can do outside of the house on a more regular basis.

Do you like to exercise? That is something else you should look into doing because it is supposed to help people who struggle with feelings of sadness. Also, exercise could be an activity you could do every day that would help you get out of the house.

I really hope that this helped and if you want to chat feel free to message me.