So Lonely...

[Ellen]

I'm so lonely that I just can't take it! Ug! I just transferred universities during my senior year and despite trying to talk to people and getting activie on campus, I still can't seem to meet anyone. I can't keep going on like this. I have to meet at least someone that wants to hang out and stuff. I want to move back to the city! I can never find any friends or groups like me in small towns! Can this whole college thing just be over now? It isn't any fun without friends. *rant over*

[Chris]

I've been in similar positions. And the #1 reason why I struggled with finding friends at the time was simple: I was trying to hard, and was pushing to much. When you first talk to someone and meet them, don't try to push yourself on to them, or try to drag on a long conversation. A simple 30 second conversation is sufficient, and then the next day you can upgrade and start adding more into the friendship and conversation. Friendships will not happen over night; they take awhile (especially lasting ones).

The best overall advice I can give is don't lose hope, keep trying to make friends (be open to the idea), but don't go overboard and/or push to much. Remember, building friendships is a trail and error process. You will lose some, and you will gain some. It just takes some time.


Best wishes,
Chris

Hey,

I agree that you should never lose hope because through hope great things can happen. I know that not having any luck finding friends can be difficult but remember that college is just one part of the rest of your life. You said that you transferred for your senior year so that means after this year you will be done. I know that when my brother got done with college he made a number of friends at his new job. There are numerous places you can make friends and that doesn't just have to be college.

Do you still talk to your old friend or family members? This might be beneficial when you are struggling with feelings of loneliness. I know when I am struggling with making new friends I will talk to my family or my current friends. I realize the situation is different because I am not living away from them but it might help if you have those people to lean on even if it is online or by phone.

Maybe you could try and work on setting up a study group with people within some of your classes? I have found that study groups are an amazing way to start making acquaintances that can slowly build into friendships. It can be a challenge to figure out who the best people are to include in the study group or it can be a challenge to approach people about a study group but in the end it really can be worth it.

I hope that this helped in some way and I am wishing you the best of luck.