I've got no friends and I'm always lonely :(

[Dan223]

Hey everyone,

The title says it all really. I'm 18 and I've just left school. At school I had those 'friends' that you talk to and get on with, but then they would never ask you out somewhere or anything, just sort of casual people you know.

All my life too, I've been 'friends' with people that wasn't 'me'. Id end up being friends with 'nerds' as people call them, and although they were my friends, we never went out, going out for a 'drink' was a bad idea to them, and taking care in how they look and dress was silly.

I'm not weird or strange or anything, I take care in how I dress and look, I like doing normal regular things, people 'assume' I have a lot of friends as I'm just an average friendly guy, and everyone I 'know' says I'm a very friendly person, but I'm just SO lonely. The problem is I live in quite a 'rough' area, so most people are just idiots anyway.

But then I go to the mall and places on my own and see people and think I'd love friends like that, but everyone is already in a group and comfortable, so they don't make more nor socialise.

I've tried joining classes, and a gym, but everyone is just chilled and already got their own set of friends they go out with. There all to themselves and not interested. I try talking to people and we have a laugh, and I say lets go out somewhere sometime and they sorta fade off, I guess there just comfortable with what theve got.

I feel its especially difficult as an 18 year old guy. There seems to always be this 'competition' between guys my age of who's the coolest etc, and making a 'friend' isn't cool enough or manly or whatever to them. It's like meeting a guy and chatting randomly he'd probabily think I'm gay and asking him out on a date. I seem to have no 'reason' to make friends.

Anyway, It just sucks so much, and I'm really lonely by myself all the time. I wish I had someone to do fun things with. I feel like I've just got stuck where I can't make any. People seem to make friends when they start school etc and then they have them, and I'm sort of past that, and now have no reason to know anyone.

I'm just blabbing more than anything, so I'm sorry, It just hurts me, I go out all the time by myself lonely, trying my best, but I just never make any friends.

It's almost like even the thought of knowing someone my age, that's a regular guy like me, that dresses modern and has 'cool' interests in unreal. I have never in my life met someone like that, and I'd love it.

Occasionally I'd buy something from a shop and get a cool looking person around my age on the cash desk, and him just talking to me in a nice way felt amazing, I imagine going for a drink with him and having a laugh and the thought of that is amazing.

anyway, that's my story of the night and my rant, feel free to post back or just read it and be grateful for the friends you have because id dream of having just one

[Validity]

Hey there, mate,

There are people out there like you, I livke in a rough area where to fit in you must drink, take drugs and smoke, also having IQ's of 20. It is hard finding a group of friends whom are like you and will ask you to go places (hell my friends kept talking about going to the ekka [don't ask] and last minute out of guilt they asked me to come and I couldn't go because mum didn't have enough warning.

Breaking into groups are hard, when I came to the school I'm at now I came from another area so everyone was in a tight knit group and it was hard to reach out and be like hey, mind being a friend? [I never said that in those words but you know what I mean].

Just stick with it. You can make friends if you keep trying. If you're a nice guy you should have no problems but it still is hard. For everybody really. It's daunting just going up to somebody you don't know and stirking up conversation. Even though that is sort of my job at the moment [greeter, guilty]. But, even in my position it's hard to stay friends, usually I float from group to group and I ws one of the first there! I've been there from the beginning and I'm confident but it still is hard!

I have one real friend whom is drifting away and I met her in year 4 (now in year 9) and even making that friendship was hard. I mean, I remember I always thought I want to be friends with her, she looks nice. I kept thinking that and because she was new she had no one. I finally went over and started talking and we became friends.
I've been ditched, way to many times, I have had to walk around my school a hundred times over, staring at my feet, because nobody wanted to talk to me. And often enough my friends would literally run away from me and I'd have to run after them.

Friendships take time and it's a constant struggle to keep them your friends. You can still go out for a drink and you may even meet someone during that time. Don't lose hope, just try harder

But, yeah, it feels like a lonely existence, even when I'm surrounded by people I feel lonely, out of place, wrong.
But, eighteen, you have freedom really. Keep trying, I swear, you'll find some mates to chill with.

Feel free to PM/VM me if you'd like to chat some time

Keep strong,
Jay.