Feeling so depressed and lonely. :(

[Shruti]

I am 18 years old.
I was in a relationship with a guy for 6 months and he was so serious about me and wanted to marry me. Even I loved him the same way but one day suddenly he started avoiding me. Whenever I asked the reason he used to say some excuse or other and finally said that he wants to break up with me. I trusted him more than myself. I m so much hurted. Actually he found some other girl. That hurts even more. I m in 12th grade. Because of all these i m not able to concentrate on my studies. I think of him all the time. I cant even hate him.
I don’t know what to do. i feel so depressed. Moreover, I don’t have any good friend or anyone who can understand me.
I really don't know what to do. I m so confused. I want to forget all this and move on but i am not able to.

[PSY]

Hello, Shruti. Welcome to TeenHelp! =)

Getting over a break-up can take time, especially when it was a serious relationship. Unfortunately, this isn't terribly uncommon with people around your age. When you're in high school (and college), you're still learning a lot about yourself and what you want/don't want in a partner/relationship. It sounds like your ex was very certain about marrying you at one point, but as he grew as an individual, his needs/wants changed, and consequently, he became interested in another woman.

I wanted to share that with you, because some people will assume they did something wrong, or they weren't "good enough" for their ex-partner. As devastated as you are right now, I hope you can recognize this was probably motivated by your ex's life transition, and wasn't due to you "failing" as a girlfriend.

You said you don't have any good friends to talk to right now - so why not talk to us on TeenHelp? =) It's certainly better than nothing at all! This may also be a good time for you to meet new people (not necessarily for dating). You could join a club/organization at your school, which would 1) allow you to create new friendships, and 2) distract yourself from the break-up for a short while. Distractions are a great way to cope, provided that they are healthy/safe distractions (ex. hanging out with friends, journaling, and focusing on your studies are great, whereas drinking/using drugs/engaging in self-harm wouldn't be great ways to cope).

I cannot emphasize enough that things WILL get better with time. I can't promise you'll be able to forget - but you can move past this, grow from the experience, and find happiness with someone else. You said you're not experiencing any anger/hatred now, but you probably will at some point. That's okay, too - it's typical of the grief process. Bargaining is also a typical part of the grieving process... so if you find yourself trying to "win him back," stop, and realize it wasn't meant to be. Even if he breaks up with his current girlfriend, your ex made it clear that you weren't "the one" for him... so why would you try to win him back if he's not as crazy about you as you are about him?

Take care, and feel free to keep us updated! =)

[Shruti]

Sir,
Thanks alot!! I finally found a good answer to my problems.
I am so much relieved by now. Thanks a lot!!!
I will concentrate on my studies from now.
Will contact you if again I feel any kind of problem.