I'm lonely.

[Lost_Confused]

My boyfriend and I live together, but we're with his parents and his brother. He works graveyard shift, and I work either mornings and afternoon, or afternoon and evening. Or sometimes all three. We hardly ever see each other, and on the weekends when he's actually home at night, we get to sleep together but we have to go to separate rooms at 7 in the morning because he's afraid his parents will come upstairs and see us sleeping together and freak out. Which wouldn't happen, his parents don't come upstairs unless his dad comes up every so once in a while at like 6 at night to work out with my boyfriend. But I want to be able to go to sleep with my boyfriend, and not have to worry about getting up at a certain time because he's worried about his parents. We aren't even doing anything, it's just sleeping. They don't even care, his parents and his brother were talking about it, and they told his brother they didn't care as long as we, you know, aren't doing it. But he's worried anyways. And we won't be able to sleep together or maybe all weekend even with his extra day off from work for Labor Day because he thinks he may be getting sick. I don't have school the next couple days, but I have work in the afternoon and evening. I'll hardly see him, and we will hardly be around each other.

I've been starting to find a couple other guys attractive, and started to kind of like them a little bit, even though I know I love my boyfriend. I think I'm just lonely, and since I know they find me attractive, I just... I just find them attractive. I feel bad, but I just can't help it. Whenever I'm actually home with him, he's always making fun of me for something, or teasing me over something. He knows it irritates me, but he does it anyways. I'm just tired, lonely, and I don't know what to do. And I was really depressed for a while because I had a second miscarriage and I think it's carrying over into this, and it just sucks.

[Chuuya]

Hey there,

I am so sorry that you're feeling lonely and this sounds like a really tough situation to be in. I think you should try talking to your boyfriend about ways to fix the situation. You might try finding another job, but I do know how difficult that is in this economy and your job might be a very nice one (I don't know for sure, and I don't want to assume things!) Tell him that you're feeling lonely and you really want to do something to fix the situation you two are stuck in, as well as the sleeping problem too. You guys might see if there's anyway to get an apartment for just the two of you? Of course that also costs a lot of money, but it is an option to think about! You might try talking to him about talking to his parents as well. I think that if you talk to him and share some of the concerns and tell him that you feel like you two are drifting apart, you two will be able to fix the problem.

I hope I helped a bit, good luck! If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to send me a message!

[Lost_Confused]

I have talked to him. I've been wanting to move in together, but he said he wants to live with his parents for a year or two before we move out so he can save a bit of money to live off of. I don't want to be here for two years, but he doesn't seem to get it. And he makes $13 an hour, and he has money saved up. So I don't see the big deal, I also make $7.50 and I'm getting a raise maybe two soon.

And we're both sick, so he's trying to avoid contact for a couple days until we're both better. I do understand, but we're both really sick and it's not like it'll get worse. I just want to curl up with someone I love when I'm sick. This is the first time I've been without my mom when I'm really sick and I just want to be with him.

[Chuuya]

Hey again,

What about you talking to his parents and see what they have to say about it? I also recommend trying to write him a letter about it, since talking about it the first time around didn't work out so well.

Bring up that you are alone, and like to cuddle when sick, tell him about your mom, and how you want to be with him, and the whole parent situation is making you feel uncomfortable, and that you actually want something done, not a "Soon, in a couple of years we'll move out." You have to keep trying.

If he really doesn't want to, maybe think about what you can do instead of moving to make yourself feel more comfortable, you could try talking to his parents about having a little more privacy, or is there a lock on your door?

I hope that this helped a little bit more, I know that you tried talking to him once, but sometimes if we keep trying, it helps a bit. Good luck

[Lost_Confused]

No, I live upstairs in an open room. Him and his brother share a room with a door, but my bedroom's all open. He has been cuddling me to sleep during the day the past couple days, first because he felt sorry for me, and we are getting better so he hasn't minded so much. I keep trying to talk to him, but he shuts his mind off and doesn't listen if he doesn't want to. I don't really feel comfortable about talking to his parents about privacy, I mean, it's their house and I'd feel rude. I do kind of get privacy when I go upstairs because his parents never go up, but then when his brother's home they both go up and down all the time.