Lonely, Jealous, and Sick of being single...

[Tamsin96]

I always feel like the odd out around my friends. They all have had lots of boyfriends and I have ZERO dating experience...
8 am in grade 10, but am in grade 11 math this term. There is a cute boy in my class who is obviously in the year above me. He is super sweet, and I really like him but I don't even think he knows I exist...
How do I get him to notice me?
Then on the other hand I think, if he liked me wouldn't he make the first move?
I really want a boyfriend and I feel lonely and left out that I don't have one...

[Coffee.]

Hey Tamsin,

First of all, having a boyfriend is not all that it's cracked up to be. It's not all fun and games. There is a lot of heartbreak, a lot of communication (and lack there of at times) and there is a lot of time taken up not with your friends. I want you to really look at the reasons you want one. Is this really an issue of loneliness, or lack of self esteem?

Now, for getting somebody to like you, that's impossible. You can get them to notice you by talking to them, asking them to do things with you (such as coffee or a walk in the park) but ultimately, you cannot make somebody like you. Also, he doesn't HAVE to make the first move. That's sort of an old gender stereotype, and it's not necessary. If you like him, and you guys start talking and you think he likes you back, feel free to make the first move! Many guys actually really appreciate it.

Hope that helps a bit, good luck!

[awestruck]

Tasmin, im older than you but not by much. Im 18 and let me pass on some of my words of wisdom.

If you like this guy, you need to talk to him. Dont go running to him with how you feel cause chances are that you will get shot down straight away but maybe if he is in your math class you should try simply sitting in the row infront or behind him. Depending on if you get a chance, ask him if he can maybe help you with some problems and just strike up small talk over the math. Get to know him a little before you act on any feelings.

In saying that though, relationships are hard work and its likely that you will have a lot of heartbreak throughout your life. Its not nice. Ive only had one girlfriend (2.5 years) and I tell you what, nearly a year onwards it still hurts not being with her. Before you say to yourself, "Hey, I really want to go out with this guy" ask yourself what you know about him, if you think your ready for a relationship, even ask yourself why do you think you need a boyfriend. Most importantly ask yourself what do you think a relationship is.

Its better to wait for some one in my opinion for someone who you have been given a chance to get to know for a fair while. That for me is a big thing in relationships. All my school friends were trying to chase after the hottest boy or girl in school but remember, a relationship is two people being together for hopefully a long time. its an important decision that needs to be thought out and given time and effort.

[Lukelder]

Hey there!
SO,I know exactly how you feel,I'm 18 and have never dated anyone.We are all different,and thus should not be jealous of each other,if you think about it,maybe the right guy hasn't come along for you?Maybe this cute guy IS the right guy.I don't know if he likes you but I have to say,if he is a shy guy (like me) he will NOT make a move on you,and will do everything in his power to make sure that you do NOT find out that he likes you.
If he stares at you a'lot and shows up places thhat you are at,and is really nervous around you,maybe you could drop the hint,that you like him.And I don't mean a subtle hint,I mean a hint like basically saying I LIKe YOU,because if you don't he WILL not do anything,unless he is in full blown love with you and musters the courage to do so.or chats with you online.

[Tamsin96]

I get what you guys are saying, I just wish this didn't have to be so darn complicated! I don't just want a boyfriend for the heck of it, I do want a relationship. I just don't know how to figure out if he wants that too, and if so, how do I communicate my feelings to him without coming off a creepy?

Also he is in the year above me, and is a semi popular jock-type guy, while I am a more... how do you say... academics focused (though he is currently pulling a better mark then me in math...) :P Do you guys think I am out of my league???