too scared to join societies... but really lonely

[Stuckinhell]

i'm currently finishing my 2nd year of uni.

I really struggle to make friends. I live with people and we all get on well, but i just really struggle to socialise.

I spend all my time on my own, which makes me really depressed, leading me to not want to see anyone.

I know the best way to meet new people and to keep myself busy is to join some socieities. But i'm absolutely petrified. Everyone knows each other already and i couldnt bear just walking in.

And even if i wait til next year when theres loads of new people, i'm still too scared. I don't know how to walk into a room of people that i don't know, and talk to people. I just get so anxious.

Any help?

[PSY]

Hey there! When you say "societies," I'm not sure if you're referring to sororities or just clubs/organizations in general. In any case, I was a member of a club for ~3 years, and new members joined all the time! Some of them were invited by friends, but others merely heard about the club and decided to check it out for themselves. It's really not as unusual or strange as you might think. Also, this isn't high school, where everyone finds their "clique" or group of friends and stops looking after that. This is college, and people are always looking to meet new people. Otherwise, they wouldn't know about all the awesome opportunities available to them! If you really don't want to go on your own, see if you can have a friend come with you (even if it's not someone that goes to your university), or find the group on Facebook and talk to a few members ("I'm new, but I don't know anyone. I'd like to come next week, would you be willing to introduce me to a few people and explain how I can get involved?").

I've been there, done that - and it's not fun either way. If you stay in your room all day, you don't have to deal with the social anxiety... but then you're lonely. If you join "societies," you risk embarrassment and/or rejection, but you also have a lot to gain if you can stick it out and find the right group of people. Basically, no matter what you do, you'll be miserable for a certain amount of time. The question is how long you'll be miserable for. If you stay in your room, nothing will change. If you check out "societies," something might change. Certain misery vs. possible misery... that's how I viewed things when I was in college, and ultimately, I chose the latter. I'm so very glad that I did! =)