Suspecting I have autism...should I ask?

[PlutoTheOpposum]

Okkk. I did another one of these, but about BPD. It's stupid, I feel like I'm self diagnosing, but I'm really not trying to.
For a long time I've been considered socially awkward by my parents. I'm really slow at social cues, I kinda just copy what others do, I get very obsessed with certain topics I like, I'm the last one to get a joke, etc.etc. I just thought this was normal, and I'm gonna be honest, as a younger kid I always kinda stigmatized people with autism. Not intentionally, of course- the only real autism awareness I was exposed to was really stigmatized versions, or the people on the far end of the spectrum (I mean no offense by that, I just didn't know how to word it) So I never thought it'd be possible that I could have it. Recently though, I watched a video by a girl who has autism, who basically explained the signs and how she found out. I related to SO many of them, and so I started looking a little bit into it. I really do think I fit a lot of the criteria.
Should I ask my therapist? It feels like a kind of thing you aren't supposed to ask about-- like it kinda just happens. Like somebody else notices and asks for you, not the other way around. Plus, I feel I need to ask about BPD, and so I don't want to have to pick between asking about autism or BPD. It's likely I don't even relate to either and I'm just looking too much into this. But if I did turn out to have it, it'd explain a lot.

So yaa, should I ask?

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello Lyl,

I am so sorry that you have been going through this and you are having a hard time, I hope you will be okay soon. When we are having a hard time with something, it can be really hard to open up and ask someone for help. You are talking about having this problem. No matter what we are going through, it is always a good idea to talk to someone who you trust about this or anything else because someone will be able to help us out and so that we can feel better soon. Autism does not mean you cannot do things that others can do, it just means you see things differently and you may have to do a task a different way and that is totally fine. If you are not able to talk to your parents about this, how about talking to the school counselor or a teacher that you can talk to about this and let them know about this and have them help you. If you can't talk about this face to face with them, how about writing a letter? I with you the best with this and hope that you will be okay soon.

[Celyn]

If you feel like you relate to autism 'symptoms' and you can trace that back to your childhood then it's definitely worth exploring. I don't see it as 'self-diagnosing' as such- more that you are trying to understand yourself better.

I'm sure many people, including autistic people, have once stigmatised other autistic people, most likely out of lack of awareness and understanding. There's no shame in that since it can be used as a learning curve to make you more aware of autism, how it can present differently in others and why stigmatising others is harmful. It can be very easy to see some autistic people struggle with things and realise that you aren't like that at all but since autism is a spectrum then it's definitely still possible to have autism.

Sometimes people get identified as possibly being autistic and seeking a diagnosis at a younger age, or perhaps those around young people e.g. teachers, therapists are aware of autism and wonder about the possibility of a young person being autistic. But sometimes autism gets missed and that does put you in the predicament of having to seek answers for yourself. Just because someone hasn't approached you about the possibility of autism, doesn't mean it's not worth asking yourself. Sometimes people might not have a lot of awareness about autism, other times people might not want to 'label' you or might not know how to approach the topic of autism with you.

BPD is a complicated area. BPD is often considered a trauma response and unfortunately, autistic people may be more likely to experience trauma. So it's possible to have both autism and BPD. But there are other trauma responses too like PTSD and c-PTSD. To further complicate things, many female presenting autistics are first misdiagnosed with BPD before being diagnosed with autism. And autistic people may also find that they have other conditions, such as anxiety, depression, ADHD etc which could look like BPD from the outside.

It's definitely worth bringing up the topic of autism to your therapist. Do you know if your therapist has much awareness of autism? I ask because it might be easier to talk to someone who does know about autism rather than someone who might not have much knowledge of autism. Especially if they are a mental health professional as they may be more likely to see the mental health side of things rather than the autistic side of things.

Best of luck and let us know how things go

[PlutoTheOpposum]

No, that makes sense! I'm really scared to ask my therapist about this stuff because I don't want to look stupid if I turn out not to have it. I will ask though, because it's alarming how many symptoms/criteria I relate to for both.
For BPD, I've looked a lot into that, too. Again, I'm scared to ask because 1, I don't want to look stupid, 2, I'm probably too young to be diagnosed with it anyways, 3, I don't fit 100% of the criteria, but more like 70-80%, and 4, BPD is really stigmatized. Plus, the only time I asked I was directed towards my doctor (I was in the hospital at the time, and also I had a really hard time opening up with that doctor. Not by fault of his own.) I have actually looked into ADHD tho and I kinda fit that too, but I do think I moreso fit BPD than other. I could be wrong, though, Idk
For Autism, I already kinda said why I'm hesitant to ask. It's like, one of those things you see OTHER people ask about for you, and I really don't know how to bring it up without seeming like an attention-seeker or a faker. Plus, I don't really know if she has much experience with autism, but she does seem nice and understanding., so it might be worth a shot.
I dunno if I should ask about both. I said this before, but it feels like I have to choose one or the other. I honestly wish there was a label that could just....summarize everything I am going through, but that's unlikely. I know labels aren't nescessary when seeking treatment, it just makes me feel more valid and less alone so i dunno

[WhisperingSilence]

I have autism. I was diagnosed aged 5. And I am going to be fully honest with you here, my diagnosis meant I got more support in school and get a little bit more support at college than I would have not have had if I didn't have the diagnosis. If you are in school /college an autism diagnosis can be a really good thing to ask for as it would allow you access to support services etc, but don't go into the whole assessment process convinced that you will deffinatly get a autism diagnosis, but also be as honest as you can during the assessment as it will help them asses you better and come to an diagnosis as such.also if you dont understand what they are asking you to do during the assessment it is okay to say to them you are not sure of what they are wanting you to do etc.
There is something called the Autism act which outlines support that should be in place for those with autism.