An interview with a 3x sexual assault victim

[TeenHelp]

An interview with a 3x sexual assault victim
By Sarah (Rivière) and Anonymous

For many, sexual assault is an incredibly traumatising experience. One exceptionally difficult to process, and move forward from. It can be difficult to come forward and speak out about both the experience of sexual abuse, and the effects it has. A user of TeenHelp — whose name will remain anonymous — has willingly allowed us to interview them and discuss their experiences as a triple sexual assault victim, and the effects it’s had on their life. By conducting this interview, we hope it will encourage others to come forward and speak out about their own experiences.

1. Could you share a little about your experiences of sexual assault as a child? Was it a family member, friend, or a complete stranger?

Of course I can share my experiences of sexual assault as a child.

It was someone I knew, a family member which made things more complicated. I wasn't allowed to talk about it as they held an authority over me; someone who is supposed to protect me and keep me safe did the opposite.

2. Do you feel the sexual assault impacted your life later on down the line? Or did you manage to overcome most of the issues it created over the course of time?

The sexual assault impacted me in school and at home while I was young. It definitely impacted my relationships years later and I had poor interpersonal relationships, boundaries, and my view on myself was poor.

I saw counsellors, though I felt like it didn't help me, as they behaved like they knew what was best for me. That didn't work for me, but I stayed just to talk to someone and not feel lonely.

3. During your teenage years, what kind of sexual assault did you experience?

One of my high school classmates and I hung out and things led to sex. I wanted it to stop; he didn't and pressured me too. He forced me to continue and he raped me.

I never told anyone about it until later on. At that time I was doing really dangerous things.

4. What kind of sexual assault did you experience as an adult? Was it similar to those you experienced growing up? Was it different?

I had met someone on a hook-up app and we went out, had a lovely meal together and went to my place. We made drinks and played cards. During oral sex he was becoming rough, too rough, and I asked him to stop. I vomited due to the drinking. I decided I didn't want to do that anymore and we went to the bedroom. During sex he stopped and took the condom off and asked me to do oral again. I was upset because he took the condom off and continued and I talked to him beforehand that condoms must be worn. He didn't take it well and then ordered me around. I told him to leave. He called me names and went to put another condom on while complaining. I told him to leave and that his penis issues weren't my problem. He threw the newer condom at me and got dressed.

Once he left, I went to the hospital's assault and rape unit. The nurse did the assault and rape kit, asked me questions, and the doctor came in to do swabs for STI's. A follow up appointment was made.

5. Given the number of times you’ve been sexually assaulted, how have they affected you?

When I was a child into my young teenage years I wasn't sure what was happening to me as I didn't understand it. I was drugged, I had memory lapse of things.

When I got older in my teenage years things started to make sense but it wasn't clear to me. I began to use sex as a punishment towards myself because it felt normal to me.

In my adult years I began treatment and saw a therapist who really helped me. It was difficult work. As a result I suffered from PTSD which negatively affected me early on in my adult years. Now, I am able to manage things and live a healthy and normal life.

6. Were the assaults committed by the perpetrators ever held accountable for their actions? Did they ever receive jail time?

The one that happened when I was an adult, I did go to the police and it's an ongoing investigation.

7. What advice would you give others to help deal with their experiences of sexual assault?

Being sexually assaulted is a very traumatizing thing to happen to anyone. If you are able to, calling a sexual assault hotline to talk to someone can be very helpful.