Anxiety is something I have dealt with for many years. I was officially diagnosed with it when I was seventeen and in a psychiatric hospital. I always knew what anxiety was because my dad suffers from it as well. So, the attacks I would have were familiar to me but it was difficult experiencing it myself. I have been prescribed two different medications to deal with it but they aren't always helpful. My anxiety ranges from panic attacks to a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. The common denominator for all my anxiety is excessive worry. It starts with a small thought and then progresses from there. I start making up worst case scenarios for the original thought and then it gets harder to concentrate on anything other than the negative thoughts. Eventually I am left with a feeling of complete dread. If the worrying doesn’t stop it can manifest into panic attacks in which I can’t breathe and I feel sick to my stomach.
The thing about anxiety, at least for me, is that it gets so bad and so unbearable that sometimes I feel like it would be better if I were dead. These thoughts only increase my anxiety because then I start thinking about how bad my mental health is and I start worrying about whether or not I will ever be able to maintain employment. The thoughts end up repeating themselves over and over again. When the thoughts repeat themselves I will sometimes remind myself that the thoughts I am having are not a fact and that it will be okay. If that doesn't work I sometimes try and change my thinking. So, if I am thinking that I will never maintain employment I change that thinking to "It might be a struggle but I'll be able to do it."
The panic attacks that result make it hard to even see straight. Sometimes I have to take a step back and breathe and other times all I can do is wait it out. For me, my anxiety is severe and I deal with it every day of the week and it can last a few hours or the entire day. The panic attacks make me feel like my heart is going to pop out of my chest and sometimes I get so panic stricken I throw up. I probably have a panic attack at least once a week and it’s usually more than that. I had a panic attack yesterday and was extremely uncomfortable. My heart was beating really fast, my mind was racing with nothing but worst case scenarios, I had a feeling of complete dread and I was sick to my stomach. When I get these panic attacks it feels as though my entire life is going to fall apart.
I have found some coping strategies that have helped a tiny bit with my panic attacks such as going for a brisk thirty minute walk around my neighborhood. A therapist I was seeing suggested this and it does help from time to time but it is not something that works every time. I suppose walking at a brisk pace gets your blood flowing and I get to a place where I can only focus on taking my steps, which helps the anxiety subside because I don't have time to think all my negative and worrying thoughts. Another thing that has helped me a little with my panic attacks is playing with apps on my phone. I end up getting consumed in the game and the negative thoughts will sometimes subside or at least decrease in intensity.
These things are supposed to help with anxiety but so far I haven’t found them to be exceptionally helpful, though I have talked to people who have found walking helpful. For me, I have to rely on medication and the medication doesn’t always work all that well. Reading is a tool that helps as long as I am not having a full blown panic attack. By the time the panic attack comes on it’s too late and I am unable to concentrate on the story. However, if I start reading when the thoughts are only bubbling up it usually calms me down. My life with anxiety has been really difficult. At this point in time I feel like my anxiety is the biggest mental health issue I am dealing with. It has become something that makes me miserable and I admit that it has gotten worse in the past couple of years. I think that relying on medications is something that people should try to avoid but I also know that sometimes medication is the only thing that helps.
I think that something I would suggest to other people who have anxiety is to try and get involved in a hobby of some kind. For some people that hobby is playing games and for me it is reading. If you have something that takes up time and prevents you from thinking the anxious thoughts, you might find that your anxiety subsides a bit. The biggest thing I can suggest to people that suffer from anxiety is get into therapy and discuss your anxious thoughts. A therapist will break them down for you and help you think in a more rational manner about those thoughts. Also, a therapist can help you find tools to deal with the anxiety. If you are unable to find a therapist then it might help to look up some self help tips online. I know I have used a search engine and found some helpful things to try.
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