Log in (Register | Forgotten password)
TeenHelp
Home Get Advice Quick Ask Register Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room Search Newsletter Articles
 Resources Donate Mobile Contact Us

Go Back TeenHelp Something for the Soul Self Expression Triggering (Suicide): Abyss
Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Chat and Live Help Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Safety Zone
   Hotlines 		   Alternatives
   Calendar

You are not registered or have not logged in
Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!) As a guest you can submit help requests, create and reply to Forum posts, join our Chat Room and read our range of articles & resources. By registering you will be able to get fully involved in our community and enjoy features such as connect with members worldwide, add friends & send messages, express yourself through a Blog, find others with similar interests in Social Groups, post pictures and links, set up a profile and more! Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Self Expression Poems, stories, artwork and similar creations are great ways to let out your thoughts or feelings. Please share your work with us here!

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
lonely16 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
lonely16's Avatar
 
Age: 19
Gender: Female

Posts: 22
Points: 1,620, Level: 6
Points: 1,620, Level: 6 Points: 1,620, Level: 6 Points: 1,620, Level: 6
Join Date: November 22nd 2021
Abyss - November 25th 2021, 05:13 AM
This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

ABYSS

Blankness
Darkness
Oh blissful peace
Waits
For me
Floating
Nothing
Oh to be free
want it want it
Forces opposing
I’m longing
Want to go
Can’t
Want
Can’t
I want
So badly
An Abyss
No going back
Heart beats
Ticking
Counting?
A fateful Step
Determines
Defines
Can I?
I long
I crave
I want
Just to be free
I-
I-

Can I?
Should I?

Darkness envelops me
Floating freely
Blankness
Nothingness
Not a Care
Not a Pain
Not an Ache

Wanting
Wanting
Wanting

An Abyss
Awaits me
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Everglow. Offline
Did you miss me?
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Everglow.'s Avatar
 
Name: Hollie
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/They
Location: London

Posts: 4,532
Points: 74,747, Level: 39
Points: 74,747, Level: 39 Points: 74,747, Level: 39 Points: 74,747, Level: 39
Blog Entries: 789
Join Date: January 19th 2011
Re: Abyss - November 25th 2021, 07:57 PM
I went ahead and moved this into self expression because it seems to fit better there as a poem.

This is really well written and I love the use of short snappy lines. It's very emotional. I hope you are okay and know that if you ever need to talk, you can always reach out here.

"Why want another universe if this one has dogs?"

Matt Haig - The Midnight Library

Volunteer Support Officer | Apply to staff
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
¯|_(ツ)_|¯ Offline
Living the dream.

TeenHelp Superstar
**************
 
¯|_(ツ)_|¯'s Avatar
 
Name: Dez
Age: 28
Gender: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Pronouns: She/They
Location: Connecticut, USA

Posts: 20,304
Points: 175,706, Level: 59
Points: 175,706, Level: 59 Points: 175,706, Level: 59 Points: 175,706, Level: 59
Blog Entries: 177
Join Date: November 16th 2010
Re: Abyss - November 25th 2021, 10:28 PM
This is my favorite part:

Quote:
Can I?
I long
I crave
I want
Just to be free
I-
I-

Can I?
Should I?

Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Astro04 Offline
Community Mentor

Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
Astro04's Avatar
 
Name: Luca
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Location: Alessandria (AL)

Posts: 420
Points: 5,764, Level: 11
Points: 5,764, Level: 11 Points: 5,764, Level: 11 Points: 5,764, Level: 11
Join Date: August 18th 2020
Re: Abyss - November 26th 2021, 09:11 AM
Hm, good one!
But too short phrases for me. I felt something like I'm caged.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Arabesque- golfing girl. Offline
Be Creative. Always Dance❤️

Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Arabesque- golfing girl.'s Avatar
 
Name: Emmie🦋
Gender: Female
Location: grand jeté pas de deux en pointe❤️

Posts: 5,759
Points: 124,576, Level: 50
Points: 124,576, Level: 50 Points: 124,576, Level: 50 Points: 124,576, Level: 50
Blog Entries: 272
Join Date: March 6th 2017
Re: Abyss - November 26th 2021, 11:34 AM
This was lovely and I enjoyed reading this. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

•Forums Officer
•HelpLINK Moderator
•Community Moderator• Article Writer
•Resource Editor •Newsletter Editor
• Social Media Guru.
"Dance is your pulse, your heartbeat,
It’s the rhythm
of your life.
It’s the expression
in time and movement,
in happiness, joy, sadness and envy.
-Jacques d’Ambroise''
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Dawn. Offline
Laughter. Faith. Hope.

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
Dawn.'s Avatar
 
Age: 31

Posts: 14,132
Points: 91,189, Level: 43
Points: 91,189, Level: 43 Points: 91,189, Level: 43 Points: 91,189, Level: 43
Join Date: October 9th 2009
Re: Abyss - November 27th 2021, 12:40 AM
I love how each line is short.

  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
~One Skittles Minion~

Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Celyn's Avatar
 
Name: Holly
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/Her
Location: Wales

Posts: 6,513
Points: 63,487, Level: 36
Points: 63,487, Level: 36 Points: 63,487, Level: 36 Points: 63,487, Level: 36
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: June 16th 2009
Re: Abyss - December 5th 2021, 08:48 PM
I really love the slight rhyme to this part:

Quote:
Oh blissful peace
Waits
For me
Floating
Nothing
Oh to be free

Mentoring and Support Team Leader | Click here to volunteer
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount81
Guest
 
DeletedAccount81's Avatar
Edit avatar
 

Posts: n/a
Re: Abyss - December 5th 2021, 11:18 PM
I really thought this was a wonderful piece. You conveyed heavy emotions with such few words.

Stay strong. <3

Quote:
Originally Posted by Astro04 View Post
Hm, good one!
But too short phrases for me. I felt something like I'm caged.
There is nothing wrong with the way people write. Please don't ever criticize someone's writing style.

Sometimes shorter is better. These words are heavy and a whole lot doesn't need to be said.

Please, reconsider before you put words like this out there, because not only they hurt the original author; but they hurt those who might be lurking/browsing anonymously. Or other users on here who might be debating sharing their creative words on here but are afraid of receiving comments just like yours.
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
lonely16 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
lonely16's Avatar
 
Age: 19
Gender: Female

Posts: 22
Points: 1,620, Level: 6
Points: 1,620, Level: 6 Points: 1,620, Level: 6 Points: 1,620, Level: 6
Join Date: November 22nd 2021
Re: Abyss - December 7th 2021, 04:42 AM
thanks stardust!
thank God I'm in a better place now than when I wrote this poem a few months ago (I only posted now). But I'll never forget that feeling and those emotions. even now, they still sometimes come up.
Astro04- the caged feeling is sort of the point. when I was suicidal I felt caged.
Caged by my feelings, caged by others. Just trapped...Its hard to put to words...
good idea for another poem
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
abyss

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
User Infomation
Your Avatar

Latest Articles & News
Different Game Genres
- by TeenHelp
How to find a new hobby
- by TeenHelp
Online schooling
- by TeenHelp
Commonly confused words and phrases
- by TeenHelp
The List of Best Tools for Quality Writing
- by TeenHelp
5 tips for writing an essay
- by TeenHelp
Law enforcement: an insight into policing
- by TeenHelp
4 Tips to Help You Cope With Finals Week
- by TeenHelp
Surviving Tests and Exams
- by Mel
The three common types of learners
- by hocus pocus

Advertisement



All material copyright ©1998-2024, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.

Home | Contact Us | Sitemap | Top