Little Sue is stuck to her bed
Father says it's all in her head
Grandma says get off your lazy ass
Mother says hurry up or you'll be late to class
On most days she can get herself up and go
But today she physically cannot put on a show
She lifts her arms, they fall back down
She wiggles her toes, she pushes up her frown
She uses her fingers to take out knots in her hair
But she doesn't have it in her today to care
She rolls off the bed, and flops to the floor,
But the muscles do not comply
She can barely reach the door
Like a rubber band that lost elastic
Something deep inside her wipes her smile away
She tries to straighten up her posture, but
She goes back to slouching and so does her day
Little Sue is stuck in bed
The doctor whispers "you got 'the glues'
That's the word we use when the blues gets bad
Little Sue realizes the truth
People around you think you're stupid or lazy
While you start to feel like you're going crazy
You stay in bed and say you can't leave
Because your world is so dark
And it's too scary to keep,
getting around by walking slowly and feeling,
the walls with your hands
All you want is to trust that you have a good grasp
But then suddenly everything shifts and rearranges
and you don't have a clue what the pattern is or what happens to cause these changes
You're disoriented and have to learn the new layout in the dark and trust yourself that the wall is really a wall,
not a window that you can fall out of
And that the floor can be walked on and not randomly open up and swallow you
It is when the storm is so bad, at first you think you can wait it out
But the rain is pouring from the inside out, and it is raining thick black
More darkness, wiping the windows to your soul
But the soul is tarnished so now everyone can see through the glass into your soul
While it rains and spins the tornado it is
But you're not mad, it is the world that is off
Your spirit has turned grey and your skin
has turned tough
Tough is what happens to you
after youve been broken into
After your heart has been torn and ripped apart
Inside youre soft, colorful and kind
Even though you've been stuck in bed as a broken child
Youve forgotten how to be,
you've forgotten who you are
You've lost your innocence
But like stars,
Someone will be there to love you
To learn the beautiful constellation of fragments that you're made up of
That lights up the night sky
Little Sue thinks this through
Her emotions don't line up because she knows she is worthless and bad
At least now she has a clue to reach out for support
And the different coping skills she can do
So now when she feels the blues coming on
She knows the glues are a few steps away
That soon she will be paralyzed and glued to her bed and watching herself slouch through the day
She thinks ahead, and plans for "the glues"
But part of her is tired of fighting
Taking up time, space, resources
When she knows she is dying
She wonders what it is like on the other side
To not be immobile and paralyzed
Maybe life is not for her
Father still says it's in your head
Grandma still says get off your ass and get a job
Mother still looks down and points fingers
The glues lingers
The doctors are harsh and say medication is key
But no one can guarantee
So the glues can take over me, she says
It is the only thing left
She gets up for a moment one last time
To grab the pills that wash her troubled mind
Then goes back to bed, she knows what to do
The fight is over, the glues has won
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