Triggering (Suicide): Why try?

[NeuroBeautiful]

Why try when I'm trying alone
To carry mountains across a bridge

Why try when I'm talking to a brick wall
For so so long
But screaming louder just makes the wall thicken
I had built the wall to protect me
But now there's a huge gap
Between what I feel and what I articulate

Why try when they only see the bad in me
They'll only love me
when I'm the way they want me to be

Why try when I'm trying frantically
To grasp my thoughts and feelings
But I watch it escape me
I feel it slip through my fingers
I am helpless in that moment

Why try when I went from yelling 8 tines out of 10
To one time out of ten
But I'm told you're still bad for yelling that one time
And the fact that your father yells 10 out of 10 times?
Well that's how parents are

Do you know how much hard work it took me?
But other people get to pull a brick from the bottom
As it tumbles down before me, they laugh at me
And then I'm told don't stop to feel upset. Move on.
Just brush yourself off and continue again
Knowing they'll come back and repeat their acts


There's no point.
If I asked you why try?
You can't answer it
There's no answer
Because I should give up

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I am sorry you are dealing with all this stuff. I hope that writing this helped in some way. Feel free to message me if you ever want to chat.

[.Brittany.]

As Jenna said, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I really enjoy reading your work as you put so much heart into what you write.

[Storyteller.]

I could relate to this a lot, and I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I'm glad writing is providing a good outlet for you to release these emotions that you may not feel comfortable talking about to people in your life, and I look forward to seeing more of your work.

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

I really love the emotion and the writing style in this. You can do it.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I'm sorry. I really enjoy reading what you post, you always have so much into it and you can feel it when you read it always. Hugs.

[NeuroBeautiful]

Thank you everyone