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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
NeuroBeautiful Offline
Please call that story back.
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Real food - May 14th 2017, 07:34 PM
This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Wrote this from today. Im on my way now to get food for my sisters becsuse this is a true story and we really do not have food atm.
Ideally I would have wanted to choose two colors and make the daddy lines to progressively fade lighter and lighter and the responses to progressively get darker and dark to illustrate how the child speaker gets wwake whole the father gets stronger control but i wI'll go back and edit later. .

[Daddy I'm really hungry

Thats too bad. You've had a banana and nuts for the day. That's plenty. Look at the fridge. I'm busy now.

Daddy I'm really hungry. There's no food.

Don't you lecture me. I don't know what's wrong with you.

Daddy I'm hungry. I can't concentrate in school

Now you're fighting. Don't ever talk to me again.
I do not speak people who whine and complain.
I am so good to you. This is how you say thank you?

Daddy....

Don't call me daddy.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Real food - May 14th 2017, 07:38 PM
So good and heartbreaking. <3
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Re: Real food - May 15th 2017, 01:41 AM
I agree, this definitely is heartbreaking and also reminds me of someone I know.

Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Please call that story back.
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Re: Real food - May 15th 2017, 06:09 PM
Thank you Jenna and Dez

I tried doing it the color coded way but Idk...


Quote:
Daddy I'm really hungry

Thats too bad. You've had a banana and nuts for the day. That's plenty. Look at the fridge. I'm busy now.

Daddy I'm really hungry. There's no food.

Don't you lecture me. I don't know what's wrong with you.

Daddy I'm hungry. I can't concentrate in school

Now you're fighting. Don't ever talk to me again.
I do not speak people who whine and complain.
I am so good to you. This is how you say thank you?

Daddy....

Don't call me daddy.

~Show Yourself
Step Into Your Power~

~Grow Yourself,
Into Something New~
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Real food - May 16th 2017, 11:12 PM
I like how you wrote this. The way you ended it showed emotion.

If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Storyteller. Offline
Spite and coffee.

Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Real food - May 18th 2017, 10:50 AM
I'm sorry you have to go through all this, but this is a really well-written piece. I especially like it with the colour-coding.

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you're a werewolf."
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Real food - May 24th 2017, 10:17 PM
This was intense, very well written.


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