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When you see your nieces
In a photo online
And the first thing you say, is
"Woah they're so fat!"
I wonder if I ever became overweight
How much stress I will have to endure
My doctor says I am at a healthy weight
I always had been
And yet you managed to convince me
That I'm fat, that I'm much taller than I am, that
I can never feel okay in the clothes I wear
If you can judge your nieces so harshly,
How much more is your own daughter scrutinized?
If I ever gained weight, I don't know if you'd still love me
I already don't know if you love me
Or if you see me as the one mistake
The one blotch of paint splatter
You need to fix
For your life to be a true masterpiece
Because there's no space for me
Becsuse if I shrink small enough
I might just disappear
Maybe then, one long brush stroke can erase me
With somrthing better painted over
No one would even notice me underneath
But that's the point
I starve myself as a reminder,
That I am fat
That I am ugly
That I will always be a few steps too short
From the gates that lead to affection
Or if you see me as the one mistake
The one blotch of paint splatter
You need to fix
For your life to be a true masterpiece
I really love the mention of the paint. I feel like it ties in perfectly.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive