TeenHelp - Triggering: Poem

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- Self Expression (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f40-self-expression/)

- - Triggering: Poem (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f40-self-expression/t141402-poem/)

(Ah, I can't title. Oh, well.)

As I'm trapped inside this tunnel,
Time and time again,
I feel like a helpless puppet
Watching all my friends

One by one, they're led so gently
Into a state of calm,
And one by one, they disappear
Do they not see something's wrong?

Sucked away into a black hole
Which they cannot escape,
And they can't hear my silent pleas
For them to flee that fate

It started with a pretty, young girl
But of course, to that she was blind,
A rain cloud came out of nowhere
And seized her from behind

Then one dear friend who didn't think
I could see him hiding his tears,
So he's gone too in a deep, dark pit
Of misery, pain and fear

Finally, a friendly rival
In whom I had high hopes,
His growing harem got to his head
He disappeared in a cloud of smoke

So what is next? I almost fear
That one day I will fall
And I will too start to fade away
It can happen to us all

So if your friends ever come to you
And say that something's off,
I beg of you, please listen to them!
Don't be like my friends and scoff

The title should be, "great poem". :dem: How about, "please listen" as the title? I feel like it'd fit since it's about listening to warning signs that your friends may show or if they come to you in need. I really like this poem. The lines are creative and I like the message of the poem. Good job on this! :)

This is stunning! It has so much emotion in it and is very well written.

This is great! Your stanzas flow so nicely. I'm speechless but in a good way. :)

This is written really nicely! I really liked the third stanza but the whole poem was good. ^.^